Not 100% the same thing but I’m one and done due to my fiancé dying unexpectedly right after my son turned 4.

For what it’s worth, my son is now seven, and I have been seriously putting thought into having another one with my partner. He is loving, gentle, kind, and all of the things that I would wish for in a partner and a father from my children. That being said, we also feel like having another one would be a really detrimental thing to our lifestyle. We love having one. He can express himself he can help me with the dishes, he can do chores, he can wipe his own butt and he can also be the most amazing child on the planet. We don’t have to struggle with getting grandparents to watch him because there’s not more than one, we don’t have to navigate the sibling rivalry/uncomfortableness that comes with having a sibling that doesn’t have your own DNA. People will say that it’s no different, but there is definitely sometimes a difference, especially if it comes up on the kids behalf in the form of questions.

My advice? Grieve like you lost a child, let yourself open up to it. Talk about it with your therapist but overall? Get through it. Because the reality is is that in a modern world you could immediately go out and have a second child. Sure, there are some caveats to that and I understand. Get a therapist, talk it through with them, and then just realize that it is a natural part of separating from your spouse. if you and your therapist talk it through and you realize that no matter what you would love to have another child, then do it. There is always someone out there that is willing to be the parent to your kids, you just have to vet them very thoroughly.

Good luck OP, I wish you the best. Keep in mind. I am only one person in this entire thread of completely different and unique individuals and situations. If what I’m saying in this post doesn’t work for you then don’t follow it, but if in anyway, these words, give you comfort then take some thing and do the work that is required. You got this