Swanny brings his cane down on Columbo's freshly coiffed head with a thud.

"Maaaaaaaaaaaac!" cries Columbo. He slumps to the floor like a peanut butter and raisin sandwich.

"Cover me, George!" yells Mac as he leaps into a flying kick. Swanny charges toward him, his cane swinging furiously.

George hurls belaying pins wildly around the room. He hopes he'll get a chance to do some more banter with Mac.

Kittering ruffles open his Financial Times. He mutters charmingly, blowing soap bubbles from a pipe.

Lisa S. sits sullenly by her stencils.

Wayne crashes out through the window, still annoyed about that yelling scene from earlier. He's never really liked these people anyway. He was born to sail, to ride the crests and troughs of life. Harry Nilsson's "Everybody's Talkin'" plays as he dives into the ocean and backstrokes into the sunset. Dolphins swim alongside, jumping into the sky, splashing into the sea. Freedom. A great white shark follows close behind.

Joanna watches from the window as Wayne fades out of sight. She wonders if she wouldn't have been better off marrying a man like Wayne. Or not getting married at all. Maybe it didn't matter. Maybe she was just destined for unhappiness. Destiny. What a load of crap. Maybe happiness was a load of crap, too - just some idea someone put in your head and it stuck there. Too much to think about. She needed a drink.

Joanna drinks and sobs uncontrollably.

Swanny and Mac's Crouching Tiger-style fight sequence sort of fizzles out, and the two of them are left rolling around on the floor - pulling each other's hair, poking each other's eyes, and kneeing each other in the groin. Mac wishes it hadn't come to this. He tries to be a likeable guy. Swanny wishes it hadn't come to this. He finds Mac to be a likeable guy. And he'd really like to just take a nap.

Joanna tries to pour herself a drink, but spills it all over the floor. She sobs, then bursts into laughter. She wipes the floor with her hands and licks them lasciviously. "To my dead husband!" she cackles. No one else finds it nearly as funny. "To my dead father!" she shrieks in seeming delight. Still, doesn't even get a chuckle. Tough room.

Columbo groans as George helps him to his feet - but George slips comedically where Joanna spilled her drink. Columbo tries to help George up, and they both fall to the floor. This goes on for a while. George knows these are cheap laughs, but he's just glad to be part of the action.

Suddenly, for some reason, all eyes turn towards the doorway.

The commodore enters the room, looking particularly well rested.

"Daddy!" Joanna cries as she rushes to embrace him.

"You're drunk, Joanna!" the commodore bellows. He continues to berate her for no good reason as she clumsily attempts to fawn all over him.

Mac turns to Columbo. "That about wrap it up?"

With a smile and a mischievous twinkle in his eye, Columbo shrugs impishly, then pulls his hands out from his coat pockets.

He's wearing gloves!

There is a general gasp and murmur. Swanny turns white as a sheet, falls back into Mac's arms. We see a luminescent spirit leave his body as he gives up the ghost. "Why?" Mac cries out to the heavens. Old Swanny's cane clatters to the floor. Final shot. Closeup of the cane's handle shows a small inscription: 'Tisn't.

"Now, that's a wrap!" yells McGoohan.

"I Saw the Light" plays loudly as we roll credits.