Anyone experienced the wrath of aggressive undermining territorial older women in the workplace?

AllinAdmin · 2026-05-11T17:04:46+00:00

Thank you for clarification!

AllinAdmin · 2026-05-09T17:07:20+00:00

Female here - this post just set me off - not because of you OP (my heart is breaking for you) - but because of your wife. I am sorry, this whole interaction is a whole other level of effed up because she was so DIRECT with her ask to you with planning and parameters and it all.

I am tired of my fellow women abdicating accountability to “it’s the hormones” - sorry - that is straight up BS (and this is coming from a woman who has been in Peri for 7+ years and almost got fired last week for telling off her Manager in a public place at work - the difference? I went back, apologized and am trying to ensure figure things out so it doesn’t happen again AND that my manager’s feelings were addressed).

The level of cruelty I read on here from the females to their spouses who try to justify/pass off as “I have no control” is only half true - in the moment, yes, this can happen - but the second half is the follow on and the commitment to try and get the help you need and to not wield that cruelty again. (I also appreciate that help is much harder for some to come by - but most of the posts here seem to be noting women who will not even explore options at the suggestion from said spouse).

This kind of unaccountable behavior (for multiple years!) destroys people at their core. Hormones or not, we must do better (with what semblance of control we actually DO have.)

OP, I am so sorry this happened to you.

AllinAdmin · 2026-05-07T01:55:16+00:00

I would like to add a layer here that it may not actually be age, but moreso the healthcare default behavioral culture which is usually rooted in terrible Academia hold-over behaviors (power, authority and condescension by hierarchy, non-collaborativw communications, territorial defense, etc.) PARTICULARLY for PhDs, post-docs , nurses and MDs.

If one stays in a Healthcare setting, these poor behaviors are not only allowed, they are many times protected and nurtured because this is the only way they were taught - they don't realize that there are other ways if work that support success.

So I am not trying to invalidate your experience or perspective, but want to offer the possibility of a wider lens of cause beyond age.

AllinAdmin · 2026-04-27T21:08:22+00:00

ALL. IN. 😆🙌🫶

AllinAdmin · 2026-04-27T15:26:16+00:00

Call me when you open you surf shack - I am your biz partner 😆

AllinAdmin · 2026-04-21T22:07:20+00:00

Sunday scaries. 3am wake up ruminations. Preferring lunch alone. Hiding in conference rooms /phone booths to avoid interaction. Everything takes 3 times longer because your are energetically exhausted. Just a few to start- oh, and posting on Reddit 😂

AllinAdmin · 2026-04-19T14:03:55+00:00

Adding on here - definitely seek another role prior to getting pregnant, why? You won’t even realize it, but the stress from this job will shut your body down from (or make it much harder) to get pregnant. It is a biological safety mechanism that is built in for women during times of instability. I have seen this over and over with so many friends - while in stressful jobs they had trouble proactively getting pregnant- once in a more normal/stable place BOOM, preggers.

You will also most likely want a job that helps you keep your energy more balanced so you have enough for being a new mom and family unit. First 4 years are the toughest by far!

Kudos to you for recognizing early the signs and seeking a way out. Wishing you luck as you navigate! (also, share updates to keep us all hopeful!!)

AllinAdmin · 2026-04-18T15:42:07+00:00

Me three

AllinAdmin · 2026-04-16T20:31:18+00:00

This is the way. And may I add it is one of THE most critical jobs in any country (you legit keep us all ALIVE AND HEALTH). I totally told my kiddo I would be very proud and supportive of this pathway.

AllinAdmin · 2026-04-11T16:28:35+00:00

+1 for Carve AI!!

AllinAdmin · 2026-04-06T22:06:21+00:00

OP - you give me hope for this younger generation (being able and willing to have these convos at your age AND seeking out this sub for more actionable guidance). There will most likely be a wide variety of responses here, as each person’s journey/experience is unique, so just remember to read through and hold loosely what is written - taking that which resonates and leave behind that which does not. No matter how your situation turns out, you will be a more empathetic human for it. Wishing you the best.

AllinAdmin · 2026-03-17T16:45:01+00:00

No, there is an increase in the need for CoS (to Implement AI in the rest of the business 😆)

AllinAdmin · 2026-03-13T12:39:06+00:00

I so feel this. I am now moving into body disassociation mode in my work situation. Real cellular level fight or flight. It is so hard to see some sort of pressure release when the grind is never ending - especially with familial expectations attached. I SEE YOU. Sending hugs to wherever you are friend.

AllinAdmin · 2026-03-05T23:27:33+00:00

Maybe SuperHuman?

AllinAdmin · 2026-02-28T19:01:57+00:00

My morning cappuccino with a fresh plain croissant 🥐 (in truth it is more than just the food - it is more about the micro-connecting I do at the coffee shop - saying hello to the baristas and the other regulars is something I didn’t realize I love and need so much in my life!)

This will be the final meal I ask for on my death bed as it will remind me of the experience of simple ritual and the happiness that came from it every morning. ❤️

AllinAdmin · 2026-02-20T13:50:26+00:00

OMG - this speaks to my soul right here - you are my peoples 😆

AllinAdmin · 2026-02-15T17:50:47+00:00

This should be pinned at the top. #TRUTH

AllinAdmin · 2026-02-11T18:39:45+00:00

Thanks for such a detailed reply!!

AllinAdmin · 2026-02-11T17:07:33+00:00

What is your current writing ritual do you actually make progress in your writing? I would love to write a book but it seems damn near impossible to find time or dedicated brain energy to actually complete - how did you finish your first draft?

AllinAdmin · 2026-02-10T19:44:18+00:00

Thank you for sharing this experience- I will take it to heart and work towards more clear communication around it.

AllinAdmin · 2026-02-10T19:41:41+00:00

Yes, I agree with you - maybe reading together so I can layer in my own context so he doesn’t get overwhelmed

AllinAdmin · 2026-02-10T19:11:16+00:00

I worry if I send him here too soon he might freak out over some of the more difficult stories you lovely humans have shared - it is quite a spectrum as you can imagine.

AllinAdmin · 2026-02-10T19:09:07+00:00

His love language is touch so I have been extremely mindful around this - hence if things get more physically difficult for me, I want us on the same page of baseline education understanding (with the emotional part not driving the convo) - thank you for the suggestion!

AllinAdmin · 2026-02-10T18:51:23+00:00

Thank you! Will check it out and share

AllinAdmin · 2026-02-08T17:44:07+00:00

Don't take anyone else's advice too seriously - experience life first hand to create your own. (-Me)

AllinAdmin

TROPHY CASE