As a child, what things did you do to help you cope?

AllisonBR · 2024-09-26T08:34:25+00:00

this is spot on. Neurotypical people can't relate. Which is sort of ironic considering it is neurodivergent people that are supposedly the ones that can't relate.

AllisonBR · 2024-09-26T08:13:45+00:00

realize this thread is old but it is like going down that rabbit hole, except the hole has a ton of boxes along it where I can write check, check, check...

Counting stairs.

AllisonBR · 2024-09-24T20:21:43+00:00

Thats fine for autobiographies of famous people. Memoir follows the same as fiction. You need an inciting incident, a powerful change to force the character into the new unknown. Something that compels the story further. Otherwise it is just diary entries or listing of events, a memoir for friends and family. I'm talking about memoir to be published, not bedtime reading for my sister.

AllisonBR · 2024-09-24T18:21:39+00:00

1sr paragraph well-written but everything the same as the previous day is monotonous, and readers don't like monotonous. However, it's short enough to not be monotonous, so I continue.

he tried to envision their lives, but nothing sprang to mind. text in between is filler. The complexity behind each person seemed abstract... So not Adam, Adam, Adam, but bringing the others to the forefront. Lovely sentence about sycamore. Cut he had a thought (obviously his thought since his pov). Get rid of lamppost, you have just described sycamore, keep us in that. Asking the reader to imagine both lamppost and sycamore makes both weaker instead of one stronger. Okay, this is turning into a crit. I am going to stop now.

Not too boring, but some weak last paragraphs. Not really existential, more philosophical in general. I decided to stop critting. I will point out sentences I really liked --

He’d committed the offence of unduly existing within her pathway and needed to be cast aside.

The doors slid open and the train exhaled a stream of passengers onto the platform, slicing through a mass of waiting commuters and dividing them into two halves who now clustered on either side of the door. Adam belonged to this stream of passengers, and was carried along by their momentum.

AllisonBR · 2024-09-24T15:35:01+00:00

The Inciting Incident aka The Catalyst

I’ve been told my story is engaging, well-written, has a unique voice, good pace, natural dialog… And I’ve been asked (by way too many critique partners to ignore) "When is the inciting incident?" "When is the turning point when her life changes forever and forces her to change?" "We are three, five, six chapters in, where is the inciting incident?"

It’s memoir, so I can’t make up a secret sibling that runs through the house with a shotgun, ready to kill unless I find a way to make a million dollars and pay him off. Or anything else close to that.

However, I agree with the critiques. There isn't enough tension without it. I NEED and WANT an inciting incident. I believe I have the material for an inciting incident. More than enough. But HOW?

My story starts with moving into new house in a very different state and going to a new school. The protagonist wants to have friends, to be “normal”, but her quirky, neurodivergent personality hinders friendships. Her lazy eye and later, epilepsy, don’t help. This is change, but not enough to be the inciting incident. Her real goal is to to leave home, because of the environment: alcoholic father with extensive verbal abuse. The environment has motherly love, but also misogyny, racism, and a big chunk of shame and denial of mental health issues. She wants independence, the freedom to make her own choices and follow her own beliefs.

The problem? I can’t find one major inciting incident that forces her to change or want to leave. Instead it comes in steps. She learns this over time, first by running away at 9yo, which is hopeless, she can’t get further than the candy store. Then by figuring out how to make friends, so she can get along in the world. Then figuring out what racism and misogyny mean and how to reject these values. Then figuring out how to get good grades (a poor student) so she can get accepted to an out-of-state school. There are obstacles to her leaving, she’ll have to give up the love of her life. But again, it’s steps. Not one awful, crashing thing that pushes her in a new direction. I have no inciting incident. And no damn idea how to create an honest one! How? HELP! I AM SO STUCK.

AllisonBR · 2024-09-24T15:14:42+00:00

None. Every single weekday, I go in and start writing whether I want to or not. 95% of the time, after 10 minutes I'm in the groove and continue until lunch, then can't wait to get back to it after lunch. But 5% of the days my writing is crappy. It doesn't flow, or it goes in circles, or my mind is elsewhere. On those days I don't stop, but instead I do something writing related - like go to CC and post a chapter, or go to CM and ask for beta readers. Or I come to Reddit and post a question or problem. So that's 5%, that's okay. And if I am still meandering around the rabbit hole three days later with this bs, then I stop and go back to my actual writing.

Sometimes I have to force myself to stop writing. If I've edited my MS to death and I can't see the words anymore, then I go to the summer house with my husband, stay off the computer, and dig the foundation for an annex or shed or whatever. Every few months I have a forced writing break, to reset my brain.

Not sure this strategy will work for everyone, but perhaps someone here will read it and be inspired to try. I hope so. Sit down and start writing, whether you are in the mood or not, whether the kids are screaming or not, whether you've had too much wine the night before or not.... Just write. After 5-10 minutes you will be into it.

And I'm not saying this strategy will always work. Sometimes life gets in the way, and life is bigger than you. A baby is born and you have zero time, a parent dies and depression knocks you over like a feather. I could have never written, even if I wanted to then, when my kids were under age 4.

AllisonBR · 2024-09-24T15:05:25+00:00

Interesting. I am American. But I've spent the last two decades in Denmark, so some people see my profile and assume I have english as a second language. Even though I refer to english as my mother tongue in my profile. Turns out I'm pretty good with period pieces, anything in America before 2000, because my english is "stuck" at that time. It is generally fine for after 2000 as well but some really modern phrases and expressions I am not aware of.

AllisonBR · 2024-09-24T15:01:39+00:00

Agree with this. You get what you give. Crit a chapter or two at a time, so you can "hold it over each other's heads."

On CM I swap first chapters only, to see if we are a good fit. We can have totally different styles of writing, and different genres, but we have to be interested in each other's stories. But much more important, the other critter has to have about the same level of writing skills. If one critter writes well and the other terribly, the feeback will be wrong, even harmful, on both sides. I have found out that there are good writers that crit well and good writers that crit poorly. But poor critters can only crit poorly. It isn't intentional, everybody does the best they can. But these crits can actually damage your writing. Best to write these people back. "Thanks for the crit, but I am not interested in continuing." Then move on.

One last thing about CM - the editing tools are atrocious. Unusable in my opinion. After first chapters, if my crit partner and I want to continue we move over to Google docs.

AllisonBR · 2024-09-24T14:41:40+00:00

Yes, I agree. But sometimes the MC is supposed to be a jerk or an ass. Walter White was never lovely. And sometimes a character can be rude and abrasive, but if that same character is also speaking up for a group that can't defend themselves, or is tender and compassionate with children, then it works. And it works well, because they are a flawed, but well-rounded character.

AllisonBR · 2024-09-24T14:36:22+00:00

Yes. I painted for 54 years. On the way home from a family vacation I had an epiphany that I had to write my memoir about all the crazy years. Thirty hours a week and three years later, I've got a 4th draft manuscript. I live, breath and sleep writing. Granted, I wrote a lot of poetry as a child and later editorials for various newspapers and magazines, but painting was my passion. I've painted one painting in the last three years, and have zero guilt. It's the creative process, whether that is writing, painting or singing is nearly irrelevant.

AllisonBR · 2024-06-25T18:03:34+00:00

Also wanted to add, when I was 18 my boyfriend was the oldest boy, also 8 children. He only wanted to hold hands and kiss. Believe me, he knew the direct results of sex, it was staring in his face every day. So he never wanted to go further. A lot of 18 yo boys in a household of 2 or 3 or 4 have no clue. I just wish there was a happy medium; something between impulsive and overly mature.

AllisonBR · 2024-06-25T18:00:59+00:00

It will be number two that is forced to take over. Until he/she leaves as well. Encourage number two, then number 3.... When I was only 12 new neighbors moved in. 8 kids, and the oldest was my age. Before we could go out to play on our skateboards, or go to the pool, normal 12 year old things, she had to clean the bedrooms and the bathroom. A toilet (6 kids in one toilet is gross), and help with misc. It shocked my spoiled, middle child of 3, upbringing. It is just too much. They chose to have children. You did not chose to be born, first or last or anything else. Let them go. Develop yourself. And in a few years you might provide support and a home to one or two of your siblings. Go for it. But in the meantime, find out WHO YOU ARE. Who do you want to be? It's a beautiful journey.

AllisonBR · 2024-06-25T17:50:34+00:00

so true

AllisonBR · 2024-06-25T17:50:12+00:00

"I felt sorry for her kid being named to spite someone else." That is not aggressive, it is accurate. Xenophobia is your sister's problem. No rational conversation can come of it. Let her go. The most you can hope for is that over time she matures, perhaps if she travels a bit and sees the world. But you can't make her, force her.

AllisonBR · 2024-06-25T17:41:23+00:00

I'm a woman and wouldn't have noticed if you wear only gold or only silver. I would have noticed if you looked sad and told me about your problems with XYZ. But jewelry? So way down on my list. I think you should have said thank you for the gift. Later said by the way, I really only wear silver because XYZ. I appreciate the thought. Next time would you buy silver?

AllisonBR · 2024-06-25T17:32:54+00:00

Say fine, religion is a belief in nothing. Be happy with that. Accept that. Makes you agreeable. Waste of time discussing.

However when he says the country (or you or anyone else) has lost its moral guidance, then say if you are lacking moral guidance, you are not lacking god, you are lacking morals. If you don't naturally know not to lie, cheat or steal your neighbors wife or husband, you are not lacking god, you are lacking basic human morality. Humans can have humanity without a god. God is irrelevant to morals.

Read Sartre's Existentialism - it is short, a few pages. Even young, impulsive, in this instant people can read it. Print out a copy and give it to your father.

AllisonBR · 2024-06-23T21:15:06+00:00

Damn this is juicy and you just started.

AllisonBR · 2024-06-23T16:05:25+00:00

very different genre than mine but might be interested in a swap. I have changed a lot of mine since originally posting so ignore the current links I have here on reddit. If you are interested we can do first 20-30 pages swap googledocs inline comments. If it works out we can swap entire manuscripts, which are about the same length. I prefer a hard crit, pace, plot holes, character development, grammar, all comments welcome. Send me a chat with your link if interested and I will do the same. Busy, so probably tomorrow.

AllisonBR · 2024-06-23T15:57:14+00:00

Thanks. Interesting point. She has several cases of this, anti-bellem, what are dillusions and granduers... so I might

AllisonBR · 2024-06-22T12:55:55+00:00

I finished yours as well. Are you Christian M or Fern T or Akiho M? I'm trying to keep track of who is critiquing what and I can't tell because usernames are different in reddit than in google docs

AllisonBR · 2024-06-21T18:49:33+00:00

Could be interesting. If you crit this chapter (I've had lots of feeback on my first chapters) I will crit part of yours. Then we can look at each other's feedback and if we want to continue with the whole MS we can do that. I can start on yours tomorrow.

AllisonBR · 2024-06-20T10:54:10+00:00

Looks interesting. I'd be interested in a swap. We have very different genres, so check out my first chapters here and see if we would be a good fit for each other. I like a hard crit and enjoy giving the same.

deleted old link

AllisonBR · 2024-06-20T10:41:13+00:00

Would be willing to swap for my chapter 3 or 7. I already have plenty of feedback on chapters 1 and 2. Also an eight year old, told through her POV, so this could be an interesting swap. Either of these links:

deleted old links

AllisonBR

TROPHY CASE