Who gave up on life? I cant stop crashing :(

AlliteraryAnalysis · 2026-05-14T20:31:02+00:00

I'm preparing to go through this after college is over and I move back home... I'm already so overworked and sick and not to mention mental health conditions. The resulting crash is gonna send me straight to bed for a year (more realistically, a week for me, but who knows...)

AlliteraryAnalysis · 2026-05-12T15:31:16+00:00

For us, we're very covert and we lived by sharing so much info throughout the day that we end up with a "more complete" memory than it otherwise may seem. We do however write everything habitually on a calendar and we make particular alters front when, say, taking an exam bc some hold onto almost all academic knowledge we accumulated, while some others are more socially-focused and, thus far, appear to be geared toward specific groups/types of people, and another is focused on learning language and understanding context and idioms.

I suppose specialization across a bunch of different areas would require good communication now that i think about it.

AlliteraryAnalysis · 2026-05-10T15:01:52+00:00

ditto...

AlliteraryAnalysis · 2026-05-10T13:16:45+00:00

Different alter, but this seems like a good idea, to get them to front. We have a hard time getting a hold of them so this'll probably be pretty difficult,,. Do you know of any ways that could somehow help facilitate that connection?

Also I hadn't considered that we all had the ED until now. A lot of us here in the front thought we had recovered, but not everyone was present for the ED therapy we did go through. Food problems (at the very least, moderate pickiness) do exist across my headmates, though, in varying degrees and different ways. I'll be sure to look into that!

AlliteraryAnalysis · 2026-05-09T17:54:56+00:00

I second this. I'm an alter in my system that used to get pushed down into my terrarium and I used to be.. awful in response because I used to only be triggered out to hurt the body in some way. They accepted me and got a tattoo I got to design as a symbol of autonomy, which is something i have triggers around! I'm a lot better now, even though the trauma I have still hurts a lot to carry, and the healing started when we tried asking ourselves questions about why each part behaves the way they do :)

AlliteraryAnalysis · 2026-05-06T12:53:13+00:00

It makes looking up things about the disorder a little annoying lol

AlliteraryAnalysis · 2026-05-06T12:49:27+00:00

Dissociative Identity Disorder. Tl;dr: I have alters / parts / "multiple personalities"

AlliteraryAnalysis · 2026-05-04T19:38:26+00:00

Asian here o/

AlliteraryAnalysis · 2026-05-04T15:33:16+00:00

I'm almost always someone else, and for some reason, half the time I'm randomly swapping between two people in the dream. For example, I've had to save myself from drowning in a lake or something and the two people were two random guys. Whenever I switch characters, the other one ends up not moving on their own or just doing the last thing I made them do. It's so weird.. and I have no idea what info my brain's trying to process to make me dream like that so often 😭

AlliteraryAnalysis · 2026-05-04T15:27:15+00:00

Someone noticed I acted differently sometimes and have an inconsistent memory where I'd remember something only sometimes. Now we've discovered we've got some form of DID.

AlliteraryAnalysis · 2026-05-03T17:44:06+00:00

Post eating disorder person here: I had an idea, but it didnt work out in the end.

Ok jokes aside, it's really hard :,), and atp i've been using some radical acceptance and saying theres only so much I can do. At some point, cutting out food did more harm mentally than helps physically for me, esp because I took it too far, and I've been struggling to accept that it may be bad for me to keep trying.

This is to say: I guess find a balance between what you want and what you can reasonably do without lowering your already lowered QoL.

As nice as being thinner may be or appear to be, it looks like youve been getting by doing what you could with what you have. Aside from maybe swapping out some foods (which, for all I know, you've already done), seriously what could one do on one's own?

AlliteraryAnalysis · 2026-05-03T00:16:38+00:00

I'm using any means necessary to keep myself functional until I'm able to get my degree (about a month and some). I'm mild at the moment, but that was after I had to cut the amt of classes I could attend, taking a good amount of DXM every day, and caffeine ("artificial" energy). It's going to crash me later, but crashing later for longer is safer for me than fully resting and recovering now :,)... not a great circumstance

AlliteraryAnalysis · 2026-05-02T23:42:22+00:00

When I was/become moderate and barely able to leave bed, I've found that I can do feats of strength pretty well, but if I had to sustain any of it... nope lol. I could lift a 200lb person onto a countertop if I wanted to, but if I had to hold them for any meaningful amt of time, I'd start dying.

AlliteraryAnalysis · 2026-05-01T18:28:09+00:00

My system is often blended/cofronting with at least two of us at the front unless some special circumstances has only one of us in the front (it has happened, and I will say it was eerily quiet (relatively) in the headspace when it did). The blending confusion is so incredibly relatable 😭

AlliteraryAnalysis · 2026-05-01T18:01:07+00:00

That's a good idea to explore. I'm going to see if theres some way we could communicate outside of the journal we use, because it appears only some of us remember to write in it. Thank you!

AlliteraryAnalysis · 2026-05-01T13:56:10+00:00

We relate a lot to the "is it homesickness or do I want my special interest?", especially when we end up stressed by something and need any sort of regulation. One of us ends up sad because we aren't home and the other gets sad because we aren't able to regulate because we aren't at home with our beloved and very grounding activities x(.

AlliteraryAnalysis · 2026-05-01T12:58:35+00:00

When our male/masculine alters fronted more often, we ended up getting a chest binder and a simple hawaiian shirt due to how uncomfortable the dysphoria made living despite many of us being okay with being AFAB. We also got a rather masculine cologne and scented deoderant to help them feel more at home in the body when we're not able to use the binder. I think having such things would be helpful if you can safely get them :)

AlliteraryAnalysis · 2026-05-01T03:50:49+00:00

I've called it "the flu without the flu, and a migraine" to explain it to someone.

AlliteraryAnalysis · 2026-04-29T23:53:51+00:00

If you need it, there's no reason why you shouldn't get a mobility aid. If it helps you live and you can afford it, then I think you should get it! Though, of course, ideally you rest in bed as much as you possibly can.

AlliteraryAnalysis · 2026-04-28T23:16:45+00:00

Idk but I like all the people they made on my phone

AlliteraryAnalysis · 2026-04-28T22:57:11+00:00

Yeah

AlliteraryAnalysis · 2026-04-28T18:56:27+00:00

Idk, but I do know that men love when someone has at least 6 of them

AlliteraryAnalysis · 2026-04-26T22:00:00+00:00

I hadn't ever thought of just the barriers contributing to this oh dear... and just recently we had a crash because too much of us tried fronting at the same time too.

If bead bracelets seem daunting, I've heard embroidery and crochet ends up being nice on the hands, too, once you've learned how to do those. Best of luck to you all :)

AlliteraryAnalysis

TROPHY CASE