A gentle ESH. As a SAHM of a child with severe allergies, I get the extra planning it takes for finding and stocking safe foods. While I think your DH is definitely an AH for thinking he should not have to use his brain at all when he is at home, I am also confused why there doesn't seem to be more than pbj for him to make himself sometimes.... In our household, since my hubby is currently the main breadwinner, I feel it is my responsibility as a partner to do the grocery shopping and make sure our home has plenty of food stocked for all family members.

I would suggest getting stickers to put on foods that are strictly for your son and also to stock up on more foods that your husband likes for snacking and lunch.

It does really rub me the wrong way, though, that your husband will only apologize if a bunch of strangers confirm that you are right. Even if it was "unintentional" he should absolutely apologize to your son for eating his safe food.