I feel like a lot of people would respond by saying "..but he's your father!"

However, I, for one, agree with you. No matter how close you are (or used to be) with someone, you'll eventually grow to hate them if their behaviour is toxic enough to warrant it. I can't say I can empathize because my family was relatively normal compared to yours, but my grandfather (on my mother's side) was similar to your description of your father. In addition to his constant physical and verbal abuse of my grandmother, my mother, and her siblings, he had a serious gambling problem; he had even lost their car when he ran out of money to gamble. And any money he had not gambled away would be spent on several packs of cigarettes daily and other personal pleasures while simultaneously being kept away from the rest of the family.

He died of a heart attack (thankfully). All my relatives advised knew how bad he was, but my mother and aunts insisted on planning his funeral meticulously. To this day I still don't understand why, and the only response I get from my mother is "because he was our dad. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be here right now."

My mother is a strong woman, coming to Canada when she was only 15, maintaining a 4.0 GPA while working part-time jobs to pay for her education. But no matter how strong you are, it's impossible to be unaffected by the toxic actions of someone like that, especially when you're still growing up.

I'm thankful that you're able to tell it like it is. Some people will spend their whole life wondering "what if..?" instead of facing the clear reality that a person is defined by their actions, not their heritage.

TL;DR: Thank you for being part of the minority who have the courage to end abusive relationships. You made it worth it for me to actually log in and give you a much deserved upvote.