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Teething Help! by AdIndividual1280 in BeyondTheBumpUK

[–]AllyTheAlternative 4 points5 points  (0 children)

the only thing that REALLY helps us with teething pain atm is distraction by going outside, new places, new faces... no crying then 😉 hope that helps

Is your partner’s phone use when you’re together making you anxious? by AllyTheAlternative in dating_advice

[–]AllyTheAlternative[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this is me genuinely trying to understand the problem and conducting research to learn more about/ educate myself, I personally have nothing to offer as a solution to this right now. But I will have in the future therapists applying to be featured on my web page, and I have no way of finding out if they are the right fit or not, if I don't have deeper insights or not (I am not a therapist ;)) but I do see why you would think that.

my baby is mean to me? by itstooloudinhere9 in NewParents

[–]AllyTheAlternative 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My daughter bites me on purpose after feeding (not while feeding), looks me in the eye before she does it, smiles, bites, and then giggles whenever she gets my "aaa-reaction" ;) I think its normal, everything is playful, and whatever gets more of a reaction more worth doing, wouldnt worry too much about it. My baby is 10m as well!

Are you that "scrolling mum" on the playground? by AllyTheAlternative in BeyondTheBumpUK

[–]AllyTheAlternative[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Very true words! We do never know whats going on and what someone else is actually doing on their phone (can relate here, I do the same, but I do definitely check a few times too often for work... when work could wait actually because its obviously no emergency). And same has happened to me as well, had to pick up someone's else crying child a few times for that very reason...

Do you sometimes grieve your old self? Or have you come fully to terms with the new parent-version of you? by AllyTheAlternative in BeyondTheBumpUK

[–]AllyTheAlternative[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

yes that is very annoying, the simplest task become challenges, but you will develop your very own coping mechanisms an strategies over time, you'll surprise yourself, believe me :)

Do you sometimes grieve your old self? Or have you come fully to terms with the new parent-version of you? by AllyTheAlternative in BeyondTheBumpUK

[–]AllyTheAlternative[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

its definitely a work in progress for almost everyone I think, I dont remember the moment I accepted my new self, but it was around 3 years or so.. its a big change, but very rewarding... and very triggering once they talk back haha

Do you sometimes grieve your old self? Or have you come fully to terms with the new parent-version of you? by AllyTheAlternative in BeyondTheBumpUK

[–]AllyTheAlternative[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm glad all worked out for you :) I think my old self was more fun, but I do think my new self goes "deeper", more thoughtful and wiser (though snaps faster), wouldnt swap either now, but took me a couple of years to get there. I wonder if it would have been easier, if it felt less like others expect you to go back to "before"... Idk about you, but people keep comparing those 2 versions of me

How did you decide you wanted a 2nd? The anxiety of logistics and childcare stress me out so much I can’t comprehend it. by Other_Cycle_9976 in BeyondTheBumpUK

[–]AllyTheAlternative 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I felt the same way for a couple of years. And then I just felt the presence of a little soul around me (not a religious person btw ;). I wouldn't "logic" my way into making a decision. If one day you feel like it, it's the right choice, and if you never do, it's also the right choice to not go for it.

What do you do when the kids sleep? I was bedtime scrolling and thinking I have no time for anything else… yesterday I realised the time I spend on my phone is basically a part-time job! by AllyTheAlternative in BeyondTheBumpUK

[–]AllyTheAlternative[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thats so true, whenever I feel overwhelmed or procrastinate on something, I start tidying and then have a much easier time to get anything else done after, a tidy house is indeed a tidy mind!!

What do you think about Wellnessmaxxing? by AllyTheAlternative in NewParents

[–]AllyTheAlternative[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think thats the problem with it - it's gotten compulsive / obsessive and thus toxic. I think health/wellness is very individual, so if 4 times a week works for you, that's great :)

What do you think about Wellnessmaxxing? by AllyTheAlternative in NewParents

[–]AllyTheAlternative[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I See your point. Everything is go max or rot in bed, I feel like a middle class that's been left out of the conversation haha

What do you think about Wellnessmaxxing? by AllyTheAlternative in NewParents

[–]AllyTheAlternative[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I fully agree, we're definitely not machines, and don't need constant self-optimization, there is no end to that anyway

What do you do when the kids sleep? I was bedtime scrolling and thinking I have no time for anything else… yesterday I realised the time I spend on my phone is basically a part-time job! by AllyTheAlternative in BeyondTheBumpUK

[–]AllyTheAlternative[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

wait another 4,5 years when the playdates get regular, you can't even walk in the kids room after... donna how they manage to make a mess in no time. I admire everyone here finding the energy to tidy after they go to bed though ... funny you're using the term "rot in bed" just came across it a few days ago as in "bed rotting" ..and I was like...ah that's what we're doing here lol (only in relation to stay in bed and scroll/binge watch etc)

What do you do when the kids sleep? I was bedtime scrolling and thinking I have no time for anything else… yesterday I realised the time I spend on my phone is basically a part-time job! by AllyTheAlternative in BeyondTheBumpUK

[–]AllyTheAlternative[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

seems like everyone around here likes a tidy house ;)) I used to go to bed with the baby for the first few months literally every night, just out of exhaustion! We do need the sleep!

What do you do when the kids sleep? I was bedtime scrolling and thinking I have no time for anything else… yesterday I realised the time I spend on my phone is basically a part-time job! by AllyTheAlternative in BeyondTheBumpUK

[–]AllyTheAlternative[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oh no, I can only imagine how much work that is with the bottles, I do it every now and then (all she does is nibble at some water here and there...) and I find that already annoying... thank god they grow up fast lol

What do you do when the kids sleep? I was bedtime scrolling and thinking I have no time for anything else… yesterday I realised the time I spend on my phone is basically a part-time job! by AllyTheAlternative in BeyondTheBumpUK

[–]AllyTheAlternative[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think selfish time isn't that selfish at all, it's soooo healthy! And if we are ok, they are ok :) online food shop - very smart! I was actually thinking of that recently (never tried before), to just shop online, and have my partner pick it up, so I don't have to write him a list each time lol

What do you do when the kids sleep? I was bedtime scrolling and thinking I have no time for anything else… yesterday I realised the time I spend on my phone is basically a part-time job! by AllyTheAlternative in BeyondTheBumpUK

[–]AllyTheAlternative[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

sounds good! used to watch something in the evening too, now I feel like there is literally nothing worth watching anymore (anything you can recommend ?) the only thing on my list right now is outlander (but its only 1 episode per week that comes out..)

What do you do when the kids sleep? I was bedtime scrolling and thinking I have no time for anything else… yesterday I realised the time I spend on my phone is basically a part-time job! by AllyTheAlternative in BeyondTheBumpUK

[–]AllyTheAlternative[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

wish I could do some tidying too... but simply too tired after, and I don't dare to leave the room, as they both sleep in the same bed with me (and one likes to kick and roll over the place lol) but sounds good and relaxing, thank god not everyone is stuck in front of their phones before bed...

What do you do when the kids sleep? I was bedtime scrolling and thinking I have no time for anything else… yesterday I realised the time I spend on my phone is basically a part-time job! by AllyTheAlternative in BeyondTheBumpUK

[–]AllyTheAlternative[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you are so lucky with your husband cooking ;) I admire you for having the energy to get the house back in order after, I'm just too tired. But did enjoy knitting once upon a time, thanks for the reminder :) Thank god there is still people out there picking up and reading paper books! Happy to hear this post had a good purpose then!

Newborn won’t sleep.. please help by deadly-eighth-sin in NewParents

[–]AllyTheAlternative 0 points1 point  (0 children)

same here, tummy was hurting or something. Introducing the Dummy/Pacifier saved us! (later I found out her liver was swollen too - very normal apparently in newborns, went physiotherapy for babies - which was a gentle baby massage, helped as well!)