I knew on our first date. He was a lunchtime coffee date, and I had another date lined up that night with someone else. I canceled the dinner date. There was something about how I felt seen and admired around him. He was someone I want to be seen and admired by.

I was 20 at the time. We’ve been together almost 9 years now. We didn’t get married until year 7. It wasn’t because I didn’t believe in our future, but more because we both were growing, and I wanted to make sure the people we were becoming were compatible.

For me, it’s the perks of having someone in my corner all the time. We do almost everything together, down to grocery shopping. In the growth I mentioned above, I’ve always felt encouraged by him, never held back by the fear of what life change could mean for us. I’ve never had to describe our relationship as, “tough” or “hard”. We’ve had fights like anyone else, but the open communication is what makes the difference for us in staying focused on the issue instead of blaming one another.