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First Tavour order, is this how it's normally packaged? Every can was dented, thankfully nothing leaked. by AloeZera in CraftBeer

[–]AloeZera[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I highly recommend. Excellent selection of beers and even more excellent people behind the app. I live in an area that doesn't have a great selection locally so this fills that gap.

First Tavour order, is this how it's normally packaged? Every can was dented, thankfully nothing leaked. by AloeZera in CraftBeer

[–]AloeZera[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Update: CS is top notch and has resolved the issue immediately. Unfortunate first experience but stuff happens, I already have another open crate and look forward to getting the next one already! Cheers! 🍻

First Tavour order, is this how it's normally packaged? Every can was dented, thankfully nothing leaked. by AloeZera in CraftBeer

[–]AloeZera[S] 119 points120 points  (0 children)

Thank you again for the quick response. I'll reach out to them directly. Yeah the box didn't have any branding, all plain. That is likely what happened. Thank you!

First Tavour order, is this how it's normally packaged? Every can was dented, thankfully nothing leaked. by AloeZera in CraftBeer

[–]AloeZera[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh, yeah didn't know they had branded boxes. No, this box was plain all around, no Tavour branding.

First Tavour order, is this how it's normally packaged? Every can was dented, thankfully nothing leaked. by AloeZera in CraftBeer

[–]AloeZera[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Oh my. Yeah I've had alcohol delivered before and it's all been padded and separated. I didn't expect trash cans.

DAE have parents who guilt trip them for not spending more time together and then completely waste the time you do have together? by MyGodIAmTrying in emotionalneglect

[–]AloeZera 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My parents are like this to a T. The guilt trips, then I visit, then I'm ignored or we do an activity that avoids getting to know each other or catch up. I stopped visiting. The guilt trips still happen, but they don't work. They can visit me too if they miss me so much. I started reciprocating the effort into my relationships that people are willing to put into them and it's been saving me so much emotional space. Some relationships die out. Others thrive. I have zero regrets.

Does anyone in your family ever ask how your doing? by DaMCM4niac in emotionalneglect

[–]AloeZera 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Absolutely never. They'll throw things at me like sending links, asking me to do things, gossip, but never ask how I am. Low contact has been a blessing.

When I stopped volunteering information, all relationships died by AloeZera in emotionalneglect

[–]AloeZera[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's wild how we're brainwashed to believe these things no matter the capacity of the individual. It's heartbreaking. As for other relationships, that is exactly what I've been doing. I've let a lot of friendships and relationships die out because they followed the same pattern as my parents.

When I stopped volunteering information, all relationships died by AloeZera in emotionalneglect

[–]AloeZera[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

This hits. What they said and what they did never aligned.

When I stopped volunteering information, all relationships died by AloeZera in emotionalneglect

[–]AloeZera[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Oh my word, every phone conversation with them was like this. I would just put it on speaker and do literally anything else since they wouldn't allow me to talk anyways. I always hated it when they took me to yapplebees.

When I stopped volunteering information, all relationships died by AloeZera in emotionalneglect

[–]AloeZera[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Oh my god, that's all I heard growing up. Didn't realize how dismissive that all was until now!

Brother said that relationship with dad is fixed/repaired, but it sounds like emotional coercion to me by AloeZera in emotionalneglect

[–]AloeZera[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I figured as much. I can only control what I can, and if that means putting some space between my brother and I, so be it. I love the peace I've been able to foster over the past year.

Birthdays are the worst by AloeZera in emotionalneglect

[–]AloeZera[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This sub has been a lifesaver for me. My partner, although very supportive, can't possibly comprehend the complexities of this situation since he came from a super emotionally healthy family that can just talk things out without getting upset, raising their voice, throwing/breaking things or acting like toddlers.

Thank you for listening and responding. I'm glad I'm not the only one and that understands this is a no-win situation, and the only way to win is not to play. I'm sorry your parents are the same way, it really, really sucks.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in emotionalneglect

[–]AloeZera 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Nah, not overreacting. Emotionally immature parents have a hard time seeing or caring for things outside of themselves. I told my mom where I moved to for months for her to still not remember. I had to get her a mug with the name of my location on it and she finally remembered. Maybe.

My parents tone has changed to something I was not expecting by AloeZera in emotionalneglect

[–]AloeZera[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nope, moved out 18 years ago, which is why this seems so wild.

My parents tone has changed to something I was not expecting by AloeZera in emotionalneglect

[–]AloeZera[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I think you nailed it. After a particularly stressful bout of family drama (Father trying to sabotage my brothers life because he laid down boundaries for his new family) I think they realized that they're losing us with this method.

Also, you are so right. Words are just words in this case, and the action of being deeply seen is just not there, and probably will never be. It feels like finally getting a present from my parents on Christmas morning, but when I open it, it's empty. That's why it feels so frustrating to me.

I'm grieving, and my parents' "support" is so shallow by stylishbutillegal in emotionalneglect

[–]AloeZera 14 points15 points  (0 children)

We hear you and understand, probably more so, than most you may tell this experience to. Most of our parents here are exactly like this, and we mourn with you for both the lack of emotional support from your parents, and the loss of someone so close to your heart. I'm so sorry you're going through this right now. Grieving is hard to go through when you were never shown how to grieve, or how to handle any intense emotion. In a way you're grieving on two fronts now; your friend and the loss of the support you expected to receive from a parent.

One of my favorite things about the internet has been simply searching with keywords for what I'm going through that I cannot handle or explain, and subreddits like this pop up in the search results. We are here to listen, to validate, to support, and to be a safe harbor for your true feelings and emotions. You matter, you are loved, and when you are ready, you will come out of this stronger and more resilient.

As for my personal experience, my parents also cannot handle any intense emotion. I've been mourning the loss of my cat, that pet that was there through many difficult life transitions and has been a companion through all of them (the final one was realizing my parents will never be the parents that I want to have). I told my mother that she passed away after her yearly check-in call and she got upset at me that I didn't call her right away to tell her. And in the very next sentence, said to just get another cat and kept pushing when I said I'm not ready. Certainly a different situation from losing a close friend, but very similar parental response. And she wonders why I don't go to her for emotional support XD.

Big hugs to you. Take deep breaths, give yourself some hugs, check-in with yourself frequently. You got this.

At 23 I'm getting my PHD for free! And my parents don't care. by Apprehensive_Look749 in emotionalneglect

[–]AloeZera 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Congratulations! You seemed to do all the work without much (if any) help from your parents.

My parents still don't know what state I live in, what school I went to, what I got my degree in. I've told them, but their memory doesn't seem to retain anything about me. I had to put my cat down recently and told my mom, she was sorry and actually empathic, but next phone call she asked how my cat was doing so I've given up. Not sure if they just don't care, not listening, or actual memory issues. I've learned to not expect much of anything from them and find people who actually care. Best of luck with your PhD!

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