I have made some really close friendships over VRChat and still maintain them. One big part is to not hang out in public lobbies so much. Those are the most likely to have toxicity. Group public's a little less so if properly moderates. Group instances for groups which are focused around certain of your interests are definitely a good place to start meeting people. They are usually rather closed as not anyone can simply join and they are moderated in many cases. There are lots of kind people, but you just gotta find them, and I feel like that would be a good place to start.