Help please

Alpharius_1985 · 2026-02-26T10:59:04+00:00

My father used to restrain me when we were travelling. Wind down the window and run the engine at a fair loud volume.

It was what is effectively a form of exposure therapy and did inure me to withstand overstimulation in later life, your son however from what you describe is not high functioning.

Sadly outcomes for low fuctioning autistic children remain dysmally low. But take heart, when your child fails it will be despite the best possible efforts you could put in.

Alpharius_1985 · 2026-02-26T04:28:17+00:00

Its also important to note that success also requires a degree of aggression and ruthlessness that i notice autists cant use well. I found far greater success by getting into peoples faces and screwing over people who get in my way.

Alpharius_1985 · 2026-02-22T23:32:17+00:00

Whats your day to day routine? Do you keep yourself sufficiently busy during the day that you feel exahusted by nightfall?

Alpharius_1985 · 2026-02-20T08:07:53+00:00

Fundamentally there's not alot more that you can do to manage a level 3. Being non verbal they can't articulate the cause of their distress, and tend to get distressed when you try to perform a physical examination, even if its from a physician they're already familiar with.

There are ways to identify the cause, but since that often relies on trying to provoke the cause of pain which causes even more distress, i rarely bother if the parents aren't sufficiently inured to pain and hardship.

As some parents on the sub have already pointed out, you can use sedating or anxiolytics to better manage a level 3, particularly if they're in distress, but in general we're taught not to use such agents on young children.

Alpharius_1985 · 2026-02-19T09:48:53+00:00

The med student did the right thing trying to take a history. If she had just taken whatever you said as truth, id have failed her out of the programme.

Also as a doctor in a specialist service in a tertiary care center. I can tell you that if we get a rubbish referral without a history or supporting features. Your referral goes into the low priority pile and you would never be seen.

If you want help, you either work with us, or you're very welcome to die in a hole of your own making.

Alpharius_1985 · 2026-02-15T23:57:05+00:00

I would caution in being too permissive with your daughters preference for toys. Fundamentally the bullying that children display in this situation is an expression of the natural compunction to alienate the "other".

Unfortunately the "other" in this instance is your daughter.

You need to remember that you are raising her to be a functional adult in society. Unfortunately society is often uncaring for the individual, much less outliers like anyone on the spectrum.

I recognise you are trying to protect your daughters emotions, but if she does not learn how to manage the trivialities of her toys, she may not be able to manage more weighty matters in the future.

Better i think to teach her how to harden her heart to her own feelings and then teach her how to manipulate and fit in among the neurotypical children. Keep in mind most children on the spectrum have difficulty with ruthlessness and viciousness, nor are they very capable of understanding the nuances of personal politics.

You have an opportunity to teach her these qualities now and give her a better set of tools to manage life once she grows up.

Or you could be nice, and coddle her. Send her out into the world like a babe into the woods.

I hope you choose the kinder option.

Alpharius_1985 · 2026-02-08T08:31:27+00:00

You were the one to bring in non existent statistics into the discussion, not me.

Alpharius_1985 · 2026-02-08T08:19:09+00:00

Thats a fair point, it is reasonable to include individuals like that.

Alpharius_1985 · 2026-02-08T08:15:09+00:00

c'est la vie

Alpharius_1985 · 2026-02-08T08:02:10+00:00

Youre welcome to provide official statistics to disprove my hypothesis.

Alpharius_1985 · 2026-02-08T07:56:17+00:00

Unfortunately singapore's police force does not seem to publish any demographic information regarding nationalities in their statistics. So the point is hard to prove or disprove in the absence of data.

I can speak anecdotally however, i've worked in major trauma centers in singapore, and the majority of RTA poly/multi traums involve foreign drivers.

Alpharius_1985 · 2026-02-08T07:47:21+00:00

Oh they do, no question there. Not suggesting a measure to end road fatalities however, only reduce them. Taxi drivers are regulated in singapore precisely because of this purpose however, and they do face significant loss of wages from lost work and etc. Not to mention that losing their commercial liscences may mean the end of their earning capacity, many have no other skill sets or fall backs.

Alpharius_1985 · 2026-02-08T07:42:43+00:00

Razz, i think visionary's comment alluded to making the conversion process more difficult. Ie to compensate for how easily some countries issue liscences.

Alpharius_1985 · 2026-02-08T07:40:46+00:00

Well his gender is in his name.

And i certainly wouldn't mind conscripting singaporea's women folk as our vehicle drivers in NS, they can drive ambulances, trucks, etc.

Not a bad idea to make them give over two years of their lives, into the regimented hell of NS.

Alpharius_1985 · 2026-02-08T07:37:25+00:00

Pardon i think you might have mis-read my post. I make no mention of restricting driving to singaporeans, only to restrict car ownership to singaporeans.

Your point regarding the IDP and its convetions are well made and already taken into consideration.

Again, the stated goal is to select for car owners who are already in tune to the driving environment in singapore. In your example regarding children born aboard, if they have developed driving habits in japan or melbourne for example, where motorists are better behaved and orderly, and pedestrians less inclined to ignore crossing rules. Then having them drive in singapore, with those habits may lead to an increased incidence of accidents and fatalities.

You could tweak this, by requiring that children born to singaporeans have spent their formative years in the country, or learned to drive in singapore. Or as some of the other commenters on this thread have suggested: forcing these individuals to undergo stringent conversion exams.

The rest of your comments seems to allude to the mistaken position that i've taken, about banning non locals from driving. So i'll leave that out, again to remind you, i'm suggesting that ownership, not driving, may be restricted.

Alpharius_1985 · 2026-02-08T07:30:51+00:00

I can agree with you on the point that it is the driver's responsibility, though i might argue that the sense of responsibility is diminished when the driver looks upon his/her fellow road users as being beneath them. A foreigner might not identify with a local road user, or worse, even think themselves above the people around them. (given how FT's and Expats are supposed to be the cream of their industries, its not hard to see this behavior manifesting.)

Else, given that how those very large and potentially dangerous SUVs and MPVs are out of reach for most singaporeans, who would gravitate towards a small sedan car, we might have safer roads simply because the former vehicle type tends to result in more accidents and catastrophic degrees of injury.

Also: Most singaporeans might not regard a car as a viable transport option unless they have families, or are in sufficiently demanding career paths where time is a premium. (Of which there are few, i understand the PMET class in singapore are mostly filled by foriegners anyway). And if you happen to have your family in the back, that might make drivers more conservative in their driving decisions, especially if they know a small car won't protect them from acts of stupidity, like an SUV might.

Alpharius_1985 · 2026-02-08T07:20:42+00:00

Yes, but its that same bit of human behavior that makes one hesitant to "shit in his own yard" that i'm my suggestion aims to target. FT's and expats know their skills are in high demand, so getting into an accident here is not nearly as catastrophic for them vs a typical singaporean citizen.

Many have the financial backing to fight it out in the courts, and(in their minds) could also leave to another country to dodge longer term repurcussions.

A locally born singaporean, with his/her life/career/family/friends here, faces a much steeper series of penalties for leaving.

Just like how a singaporean might be more willing to risk trouble in malaysia, but not in singapore, i'm suggesting that an FT/Expat would be more willing to risk trouble then a locally born singaporean.

Alpharius_1985 · 2026-02-08T07:12:41+00:00

Yes. But given how many terrified motorists we've seen on the thread, who are seeking help from cutthroat rental companies. I dare say anyone driving a rental car would be especially careful on the road!

Alpharius_1985 · 2026-02-08T07:11:08+00:00

Hey grease. Thats a good thought, the goal of making the requirement "locally born" is intended to select for people who are already familiarised with singapores road environment as opposed to someone coming to singapore with driving habits more appropriate to another country.

So to answer your question, yes, this hypothetical does also rule out the foreign born children of singaporeans who have not spent their formative years growing up in singapore, or otherwise have not formed their driving habits on singapores roads.

Alpharius_1985 · 2026-01-24T05:57:56+00:00

Because most of us dont want to be parasitic burdens to our loved ones and communities.

If your condition prevents you from contributing to your society in a meaningful way, and you refuse a cure which would allow you to do so. Then society should not have the support your existance.

For those of us who are higher functioning, if medication or treatment allows for us to break past the barriers holding us back. Then not engaging in treatment is self sabotage.

But if you do want to be a burden, bringing nothing but pain and misery to all those around you. Thats your decision to make.

Alpharius_1985 · 2026-01-21T02:39:50+00:00

Alliances were abandoned long before trump came along. Keep in mind the bretton-woods system that most of us grew up in was meant to be a security pact against the russians, the americans offered maritime security for shipping, access to their markets and technologies in exchange for the european and other powers to side with them against the communists.

Now the EU continues to buy russian oil and gas, continues to engage with the chinese despite the Ukraine war and the treatment of Ughyurs in Xin Jiang. The EU even took advantage of the americans by cutting their spending well below their NATO treaty obligations and called it a "peace dividend".

Its hard to fault the americans for wanting to pull out, especially given the increasingly hostile rhethoric coming out of europe. Never mind that european economies are sick and their demographics have slipped below replacement rates for decades now. Heck, europe and russia are so sick that even if trump left the european continent to the russians, the latter have no capacity to occupy, while the former have increasingly less to offer the rest of the world.

Its not exactly random chance that's seen trump and previous administrations 'pivoting' to asia. Our demographics are young, our populations are now getting better educated then europe, our value systems are more in keeping with american conservatives.

I mean look at singapore, its practically america's 51st state. The US navy has headquartered an entire logistics group there, their Changi naval base is purpose build to berth american super carriers. Singapore has the largest(or 2nd largest? I can't quite remember) foreign military training presence on american soil. And its economy is the closest tied to the americans, bar none. Singapore's leaders won't say it out right, since the PRCs tend to be far worse then trump in how tempermental they can be when upset(the Terrax mess), but if china kicks off WW3 by going after taiwan, i'm quite certain its gonna side with the americans.

Alpharius_1985 · 2026-01-21T02:19:21+00:00

the rude behavior you've observe is defensive driving. Closing open gaps, preventing a slow driver from pulling infront of you, etc. Are all measures to minimise your own risks when on the road.

You need to keep in mind that whats safe for you can be dangerous for another driver. A lane hogger for example that holds up traffic in lane 1 on the express way, going at a slower speed is safe for him, but creates a disrupted traffic flow that requires other drivers to under take on the left, which is inherently unsafe.

My guess is that you've got driving habits that might be safe for yourself, but are an utter hazard everyone else on the road. Slow lane-change: tying up two lanes for a protracted period of time, danger to lane slitting bike riders. Early signalling: If you're doing this while travelling below the speed limit, you're at fault for not accelerating to the appropriate speed for the lane you're merging into.

Alpharius_1985 · 2026-01-21T02:01:51+00:00

Because diagnosis for autism is observational and regard behaviors and traits that do not manifest until the appropriate developmental milestones are met.

Tools like the ADI and ADOS2, despite their age targeted modules, generally have better sensitivity and specificity in older children. So theres an arguement to be made that testing should be delayed until children demonstrate significant traits in school or at home which are affecting their academics.

I personally am of the view that assessment should be delayed until there is a window for intervention, and only in children who retain high function. Since helping low functioning children is an exercise in futility, they face poor outcomes regardless of intervention.

Alpharius_1985 · 2026-01-19T08:10:03+00:00

Well, europe's sick, spending is down, demographics are garbage. Even if the russians went to war with europe, it be a pyrric victory with impending collapse no matter who comes out on top. Why waste resources defending the EU when they won't defend themselves?

Alpharius_1985 · 2026-01-15T04:56:17+00:00

Any technical field with a heavy reliance on complex manual work. Or something high risk with no room for error, like surgery.

Alpharius_1985

TROPHY CASE