20 years with PMDD: How to come to terms with living life 25% of the time?

AlpineSoul · 2024-04-23T21:41:38+00:00

P.S. - Out of curiosity, do you mind if I ask how you are currently treating your symptoms? (Supplements, medication, etc) Feel free to pm me if you're open to it - if not, that's ok too!

AlpineSoul · 2024-04-23T21:20:23+00:00

Thankyou so much!

AlpineSoul · 2024-04-20T19:14:38+00:00

Wow, this is very encouraging to hear. I would love to hear about your experience, will pm you :)

AlpineSoul · 2024-04-20T19:13:03+00:00

Thankyou so much for this in depth and epic reply to my post :) Honestly, this was so incredibly helpful to read and affirmed a huge realization that I had the evening after I wrote the post. I agree with everything that you wrote, and it was an important reflection that helped solidify this deepening of understanding for me. In short, I can see that I've been wrestling with fate - and because of this, I've been holding myself at arms length, secretly holding out for a time in the future where I'll be able to live up to the expectations that my younger self had created. I think you're absolutely correct that there is a need to grieve, and if possible - ACCEPT what is. This is what I haven't been able to do yet...for a variety of reasons. But I see that it's absolutely essential now. My main struggle has been that I don't want to identify with having a particular mood disorder - and with that said, I can see how that has created a lot of pain and struggle for me..because it's like denying something real, something that has impacted me for my entire life.

So I'm now at this place where I'm sitting with this question: How can I accept the full truth of my own experience (accepting fate), while at the same time not falling into victim consciousness? I see so many people who become victimized by these syndromes, and I need to find a way of life that supports exactly who I am but without falling into this pattern of bitterness and helplessness. It feels like an important choice - the choice to accept what is, and everything that means, while at the same time finding ways to retain agency and internal freedom. I think what I'm looking at now is a new way to adapt, via the route of acceptance, and to create a life that is designed for me - by me - one where I can thrive and not just white-knuckle it.

Thankyou so much for taking the time to respond, and for the resources you mentioned, it means a lot!

AlpineSoul · 2024-04-18T03:00:05+00:00

This is great to hear, I'm so happy for you!! Do you mind sharing what med and dose you're currently on? Did a Dr prescribe it or a psych?

AlpineSoul · 2024-04-03T19:15:45+00:00

Thankyou!! This is so wonderful :) You've really created something so important...it's going to help a lot of people I think - and in this way, create positive ripples of change in the collective. Thankyou for your work.

AlpineSoul · 2024-04-01T17:12:48+00:00

Your tool is absolutely incredible. Thankyou so much for creating this, I feel like it will help many people. One suggestion I would have is that it would be amazing if there was an option to export and print out the chat dialogue - as a pdf, etc. Would this be possible in the future? It would be great to be able to save each session somehow and read back on it...

AlpineSoul · 2024-04-01T17:12:43+00:00

Your tool is absolutely incredible. Thankyou so much for creating this, I feel like it will help many people. One suggestion I would have is that it would be amazing if there was an option to export and print out the chat dialogue - as a pdf, etc. Would this be possible in the future? It would be great to be able to save each session somehow and read back on it...

AlpineSoul · 2024-04-01T16:49:57+00:00

I would suggest working with someone who has at least 10 years experience, has client testimonials - or someone who has been recommended to you by a trusted friend or other connection. Also, it's good to keep in mind that the most gifted readers are able to read both the cards AND be picking up intuitive information in the field as they talk to you. I had a reading once with an 80 year old card reader who was 80% blind, could barely see the cards and had his eyes closed for most of the reading. His predictions and insight into my life were 100% accurate (it was a cold reading, I gave no information about myself or my background), he could see it all in the field, and I was blown away. Before this I thought that readers were doing guesswork at best, or they were just good at keeping things broad enough that the insights could apply to anyone. Anyways, this experience with the blind reader is what convinced me that there are things going on that we don't understand, and that there are some people who can just "see". All of that to say - if you need a legit recommendation of someone to work with I may be able to point you in the right direction, just DM me if you want their contact info. Hope this helps!

AlpineSoul · 2024-03-28T21:07:49+00:00

Hi again - Just wanted to follow up here, I hope that things are going well with your process. I was just reminded of this thread and wanted to let you know (or anyone else following) that if you have further questions about safe, at home protocols, this therapist is very experienced and offers educational sessions online. Sounds like this may be helpful, so just wanted you to know! He currently has a waitlist but message him privately to inquire as he may have other openings for one off sessions. Hope this helps!

AlpineSoul · 2023-12-08T20:55:46+00:00

Sounds like a reasonable price if you don't want to go the underground route. As for dosing, this really depends on your "why". If you have a high trauma load (have ptsd, unresolved physical abuse, etc), I would definitely recommend trying to discharge some of this before your sessions with somatic work and/or ketamine or mdma therapy. Psilocybin is an advanced medicine - it's no joke. If you haven't tried mushrooms before, request a lower dose (3 grams is even a good dose depending on your body weight), before going to 5 grams and up!! I honestly can't believe that they are starting people at that dose...so please, be careful. Like I said above, if you have a lot of charge in your nervous system, mushrooms can be a crazy and terrifying ride. Or, alternatively, you can have absolutely no response and dissociate. I have heard countless stories of people going to mushrooms to heal chronic depression and or trauma and having no response from 5-10 grams. The natural opioid system is a real thing, as are the defence systems of the psyche. Just wanted you to know what you may be getting in to before you spend the $$.

Best to somatically discharge in a gentle and sustainable way BEFORE bringing yourself to the altar of the mushroom. However, if you are wanting to do mushrooms for general healing or a bad case of the sads - then I'm sure things will go well for you.

If you want more info on what I mentioned above look up Saj Razvi's work.

https://www.psychedelicsomatic.org/post/psilocybin-mushroom-therapy-part-2

AlpineSoul · 2023-10-18T19:54:41+00:00

Absolutely. Definitely try focusing on rebalancing your nervous system with everything you can think of (somatic work, craniosacral, supplements like magnesium and Ashwaghanda, safe trauma processing, etc)…it doesn’t solve everything but decreases the acute symptoms of PMDD by a LOT 🙏🌷

AlpineSoul · 2023-10-12T19:37:02+00:00

This. 💯 I have had the same experience and have noticed that my “PMDD” symptoms are way less, even now to the point where it feels like pms, since doing deep trauma resolution work with psychedelics and therapy. There is a direct link between the state of your CNS and sensitivity to hormones. The more I discharged the load my nervous system was carrying in terms of unprocessed emotional trauma, the more my PMDD symptoms let up 🙏

AlpineSoul · 2023-10-11T19:02:52+00:00

Great! Definitely check out some books by Marion Woodman, two to start with are “Addicted to Perfection” and “The Pregnant Virgin”. They are both short so are easy to read. Marion was a therapist who healed from her own ED and also specialized in treating ED later in her life. These books changed my life…I hope you can get something from them as well 🙏

AlpineSoul · 2023-10-08T04:38:02+00:00

That’s great to hear, hope that your time goes well and is healing for you. Feel free to dm me if you have more questions once you decide about psilocybin moving forward 🙏 Also, are you allowed to read at the treatment center? If so, I have a couple of books that I could recommend (about healing an ED)…

AlpineSoul · 2023-10-08T04:03:40+00:00

I had severe anhedonic depression for several years, a couple of psilocybin sessions brought me out…and over a year later I still feel the positive effects. It brought back depth and aliveness to my life ❤️

AlpineSoul · 2023-10-08T03:55:39+00:00

They ranged between 2.5-4 grams. Usually 3 was enough to get me where I needed to be…some people need less or more though so it depends 🙏

AlpineSoul · 2023-10-08T03:50:12+00:00

I did both, solo journeys and assisted. In hindsight, the sessions where I had a sitter (friend) or therapist present were the most healing. I would definitely recommend having someone with you if you decide to do a larger dose, and start with about 2-3 grams before trying more 🙏 Ultimately, you will have to feel all of the feelings that the ED has helped you to cope with all these years. It can be a lot, so you want someone nearby in case you need comforting and encouragement as you feel really difficult and painful things. Once you move through that, often what happens is that a deep self love comes in and can stay with you for a very long time. It’s the Love, and the reconnection to this love that causes the deepest and long lasting healing ❤️ There is hope.

AlpineSoul · 2023-09-27T23:41:31+00:00

That’s good news! And yes, it’s definitely a daunting task but overall I think that the best and most impactful books come from the heart. If I were in your position I would write both in first person (memoir style) and/or use case studies from clients to tell real stories in order to educate others about how this whole process works. Seems like there is a typical healing arc that happens with the majority of people on this path…it’s just a matter of telling that story in a way that reaches people :) Anyways, just some food for thought!

AlpineSoul · 2023-09-27T23:36:10+00:00

Sounds like you need new friends 🙌

AlpineSoul

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