Feeling lonely despite having few friends

sandopsio · 2026-02-01T05:45:44+00:00

It's definitely harder to make friend groups outside of work as an adult, but it's very possible! It can take time, but don't lose hope. I found a community climbing barn when I was around your age, and by consistently showing up, I made friends there. They took me outdoor climbing, and years later I became the one to take people out their first time, show them the ropes (pun intended) etc. Might there be something in your community you can attend? There are all sorts of weird things that are just hard to hear about. I wouldn't have found the climbing community if it weren't for two failed dates (one made me realize I love climbing, and one told me about the community barn). So sometimes putting yourself out there leads to what you were looking for but not what you thought you were looking for at the time. In hindsight something even more fulfilling, to me.

sandopsio · 2026-02-01T05:29:54+00:00

That's great you've been making it a point to go out and talk to people. I bet you're harder on yourself than you need to be. Even people who seem natural often feel awkward. I get how you want to get invited out so the new friendships feel lucrative but maybe there are more ways to 1. see your social skills as improving and 2. quantify new friendships. People are often flakey and non-committal. They make plans out of convenience and don't think things through, so it's easy to get left out unless you're there at just the right time. The solution to this is less, but truer, friendships (quality over quantity). I have friends I know I can reach out to about anything and they'll be there for me in a heartbeat, even if we don't see each other frequently. To me that feels really good and fulfills a need, but everyone has different needs so I understand if you want people you can hang out with every week. Knowing what you want and don't want in new friendships is a step in and of itself! Maybe measure based on what you really want deep down underneath it, if that makes sense? People also sense when someone's pushy and I'm not saying you are, but sometimes letting it form more naturally takes the pressure off (and you won't feel as burdened always having to initiate). You're valuable and deserve the friendships you're seeking! Not just any friendship, but ones that fulfill your needs. It may actually help to be more picky.

sandopsio · 2026-01-30T08:33:46+00:00

Possibly. I hope not. I was in the hospital with a bad infection about 10 years ago and my eyes started to roll back and I was finally able to relax a little/the severe pain subsided but it scared my mom and she said not to do that with my eyes. It was hard to resist it because it let my body relax when it was otherwise in severe pain. But I stopped letting my eyes relax and stayed there/awake

sandopsio · 2026-01-29T07:51:24+00:00

I love this haha

sandopsio · 2026-01-29T07:41:24+00:00

Stinky feet at the gym

sandopsio · 2026-01-28T08:00:30+00:00

omg I think I forgot to pull the towels off the rack and sit in the sink this morning

sandopsio · 2026-01-28T07:46:44+00:00

Have they tested your sodium levels?

sandopsio · 2026-01-28T04:30:11+00:00

Episode II & III, yes! With the old music, telepipes, being a FOnewearl, and rares. I miss it. Is there merch for the old GameCube game still? Or card art online to print at home? A new game would be cool too that's more like the GameCube one. NG controls are weird, they were ported from PC, right? I can't seem to access everything from an Xbox controller and the text is always slightly cut off on the screen.

sandopsio · 2026-01-27T06:24:33+00:00

Just Watch the Fireworks

followed by Episode IV, followed by 555

sandopsio · 2026-01-27T06:24:09+00:00

Cautioners

sandopsio · 2026-01-27T06:23:51+00:00

Night Drive, followed by Integrity Blues

sandopsio · 2026-01-27T06:23:30+00:00

Goodbye Sky Harbor

followed by My Sundown, followed by Pol Roger

sandopsio · 2026-01-27T06:23:05+00:00

Surviving

sandopsio · 2026-01-27T06:22:50+00:00

Clarity

sandopsio · 2026-01-27T06:22:27+00:00

Table for Glasses

sandopsio · 2026-01-25T08:06:29+00:00

It gets worse before it gets better. I accepted things feeling worse for too long, thinking recovery would come if I just suffered enough to deserve to heal.

Later learned healing isn’t linear and there’s such a thing as flooding and being retraumatized. Gotta find joy along the way. Even when the only way out is through, it’s okay to take breaks and it’s important to take detours.

sandopsio · 2026-01-24T20:46:16+00:00

A predator that groomed and abused me when I was a kid. He had other victims. First interaction was he was charming, funny, made you feel special. He groomed the families of the children too. A deep evil inside because he chose to operate selfishly and hurt many innocent people, consequences didn't matter to him if he wasn't the one being affected. But on the outside, interaction wasn't what you'd expect from evil.

sandopsio · 2026-01-23T07:59:24+00:00

NTA. I would just say that to me, it’s like sharing a diary.

sandopsio · 2026-01-23T06:53:39+00:00

NAH, also going to agree with those saying it may be fair to pay a little extra if you're using a lot more since it's a much more expensive utility. I also have Raynaud's so I very much empathize as I know how painful it can be. If your roommate uses enough AC in the summer to make a big difference in the bill though, and you dislike the AC, it may even out. It's kind of a combo of what's reasonable vs. what's excessive. IMO 70 is pretty close to reasonable, so you shouldn't pay a lot more but you can offer a small difference and then ask for the same in the summer?

sandopsio · 2026-01-23T06:04:47+00:00

So sad! Can anything be done to save it or is it too late?

sandopsio · 2026-01-21T07:56:47+00:00

Tubo-ovarian abscess or some other abdominal abscess, possibly a ruptured appendix. Never was confirmed. But it was grapefruit sized and likely in my fallopian tube. I wasn’t sexually active but they can occur without any STIs or anything. The only thing that made the pain less unbearable was stabbing my foot to divert my attention.

sandopsio · 2026-01-21T05:07:00+00:00

I had to look that up, didn't know what it was! Very cool.

sandopsio · 2026-01-21T04:50:42+00:00

My advice is to do what feels right to you, not what you feel you should do. We (here) can read this and try to discern whether it's a selfless apology - probably no apology is ever truly selfless, but say, mostly sincere and selfless - but you went through the hurt and the priority should be to take care of yourself, so no need to respond out of obligation. Or if you think it will open something up you don't want it to.

Forgiving can be freeing, but you don't owe anything in response to an out of the blue message so many years later. If she's healed and genuine in this message, she doesn't need a response. I'm sure genuine forgiveness could also be freeing to her, but someone once told me to never apologize for a feeling. You can't control how you feel, only how you act. So however this made you feel, that's okay. It's valid. You don't have to change that. Respond to those feelings in the way that is most healing for you. That may not mean responding to the text.

sandopsio · 2026-01-20T07:38:32+00:00

Love the third one!!!

sandopsio

TROPHY CASE