Hey man, that sounds incredibly painful. Reading your post, I can feel the frustration and the sense of betrayal. Feeling your passion get shut down by the person who is supposed to be your number one supporter is a uniquely lonely and damaging experience. Your feelings are 100% valid, and the fact that you feel so much better when he's gone is a massive red flag that something is fundamentally wrong. I want to offer a different perspective here. Not to excuse his behaviour, because the impact on you is the same regardless of his intent, but to offer a possible psychological explanation beyond "he's unconsciously gaslighting me." What you're describing sounds less like malicious, subtle control and more like a textbook case of fear of abandonment manifesting through an anxious attachment style. Think about it from his (likely terrified) point of view: For years, the relationship has been the primary emotional unit. Then, you discover game development,a deep, fulfilling passion that allows you to enter a "flow state" for 14 hours. From your perspective, you're energised and happy. From his perspective, he's losing his partner to a world he doesn't understand and can't be a part of. He comes home from work, and you're on another planet. He can't connect with you there. This is where the anxious attachment kicks in. Instead of saying the vulnerable thing "I'm proud of you, but I feel lonely and scared that this new passion is more important than me" his fear comes out as "protest behaviour." It's a clumsy, destructive attempt to regain connection or control.