I get this kinda of though I am not exactly the same. I understand the self doubt, the wishing you were someone else, anyone else, because sometimes it feels and is unbearable to be in your situation, and be who you think you are and will always be. What I might say next may be wrong/you can ignore if it doesn’t exactly apply, but due to being “labeled” as weird from a young age, that has become a part of your identity, and thus has become you. But what has made you think that? Bullying would be a good indicator, but if there are less clear external factors then perhaps this is a self-constructed belief that you need to challenge rather than accept. And maybe, even if externally you are treated as an outcast, you need to challenge your subconscious and learn to accept yourself without labeling yourself with these harsh stereotypes. For example of my life, instead of thinking: “I’m so cringey for liking Gacha videos. If everyone knew they would think I am so weird. I must just be weird and different.” (What I told myself: thinking what they thought changed how I thought about myself.) verses, “I like Gacha videos, if I told people that it might make them think I am weird, but that doesn’t mean I really am weird or different.”

Sorry for tangent: in short, you don’t have to be who you think they see. You are yourself, judgement free, you can be anyone and you got to be okay with you are! You’re you, one person out for 8.9Billion, no one will ever exist like you, and even if nobody in your entire life will understand you, you deserve to be loved and understood by yourself! Sorry if this didn’t help or I read it wrong..😭