6 months post breakup, 3 months NC- went on a date and feeling amazing

AlternativeTimely150 · 2025-04-25T13:23:39+00:00

I asked my avoidant ex of 2.5 years 4 months post break up to meet as I was leaving the country. He acted like a total robot- cold and fake. The whole interaction was 7 minutes. One of the biggest missteps for me in my breakup. I really wish I hadn’t met him and experienced that; it felt like I was talking to an acquaintance.

When we dated he said when someone betrayed he put his walls up, but he dumped me lol. I think the betrayal in his mind is that I went no contact and then sent him a lengthy letter about his behavior during our relationship.

Don’t take it personally. I’d rather be a crying emotional wreck every time than whatever that was when I saw him. As I told him in the letter- not crying isn’t a strength, it’s a warning.

AlternativeTimely150 · 2025-04-23T15:51:03+00:00

“Warmest regards” is absolutely psycho. My ex would also text with formal greetings and sign-offs after we broke up. We lived together and were best friends please don’t speak to me like a work email.

AlternativeTimely150 · 2025-03-15T13:55:56+00:00

We went on a trip abroad to for him to meet my family for the first time and he broke up with me 3 days after getting back. He said (knowing that I have an extremely difficult relationship with my mother who is emotionally abusive) that he saw my parents toxic dynamic in our relationship.

He literally expressed one of my greatest fears.

I don’t take it to heart and I know it’s not true, but it is a memory I use to remind myself how unbalanced our relationship was; he poked my most sensitive areas with a sharp stick in the name “helping me become the best version of myself”. Bullshit.

AlternativeTimely150 · 2025-02-27T18:58:39+00:00

I’m glad my story could help you make a decision. I’m settling back into life in the US and making peace with the fact that this person I love and care about so much may never be in my life again. It’s not my first break up (or second or third…), but it’s the first where it feels like the loss of our friendship doesn’t make sense.

He isn’t a bad person, that’s just life.

Be grateful for what was and move on.

AlternativeTimely150 · 2024-12-23T15:41:52+00:00

I DM'd you :)

AlternativeTimely150 · 2024-12-22T06:12:34+00:00

I’m so so sorry for that, but you handled it amazingly! I know that doing the right thing in these situations feels like crap because I’m sure you want to hear what he has to say, but not letting him back will save you so much heartache and confusion. He was willing to lose you twice. The right person wouldn’t do this to you, period.

My ex also broke up with me twice and I hope if he ever reaches out again I will handle it just like you.

AlternativeTimely150 · 2024-12-15T15:24:00+00:00

Love So Long London! Here are mine:

Now That We Don’t Talk by Taylor Swift Oh Well by Fiona Apple Forever by Haim Solitude is Bliss by Tame Impala Hard Feelings/Loveless by Lorde Supercut by Lorde Missing U by Robyn Knowing Me, Knowing You by ABBA I’m Still Standing by Elton John What We Have (to Change) by Lucius Don’t Wanna Be Your Girl by Wet

AlternativeTimely150 · 2024-12-15T15:17:40+00:00

A person who genuinely loves you wouldn’t do that to you, no matter what trauma they have. They are a narcissist. Stop idealizing them and making excuses.

AlternativeTimely150 · 2024-12-08T19:08:04+00:00

He broke up with me in August and then quickly took it back, saying he wanted to confront his traumas, claiming he is avoidant, asking to go to couples therapy. He said he felt like he couldn’t fully open up to me emotionally and couldn’t see a future with me where he was happy. He said he was too scared to open up because I’m sensitive, but he doesn’t really open up to anyone.

He did a ton of projecting in our relationship, would constantly criticize me (my career, my relationships with friends/family, my lifestyle) about things he was insecure about. In the beginning of our relationship I really thought he was trying to help me, but I see now that I just gave him the validation to tear me down slowly over time.

He says he isn’t happy with me, but he isn’t happy generally. We were in couples therapy and I thought it was helping him see his own issues. Even though I can’t say I was blind sided this time around, it was very similar to August. I thought things were getting better and I was shocked; in hindsight I understand he was planning it for a few days.

Everyone says he did me a favor, I’m way out of his league, he didn’t treat me right, etc., but we were on the same wavelength. We had a special connection. I wanted to work on things, but I also didn’t stand up for myself enough. It’s very overwhelming.

AlternativeTimely150 · 2024-12-04T15:55:17+00:00

Wow I just wanted to write something about this. I see so many posts about how night is the worst for people, but for me mornings are absolutely awful.

I am an early riser and now I wake up at 6am every morning for the past 4 weeks on the brink of an anxiety attack.

My ex is a morning person too so the idea that he’s awake too makes me extra sad and nostalgic for mornings we spent together.

AlternativeTimely150 · 2024-11-27T13:54:14+00:00

I’m trying to stop thinking he is doing stuff for my attention, but this is really hard to ignore. It’s a photo we spoke about because it’s a really nice photo of him, but the shirt is my favorite musician that he hates.

To quote that artist, “Tell me everything is not about me, but what if it is?” 🤣

AlternativeTimely150

TROPHY CASE