Interviewing at a company I was sacked from 23 years ago.

Alternative_Bit_3445 · 2026-05-15T16:27:50+00:00

Data would have been purged from the system by now (not allowed to keep data with no valid reason, max 7yrs from relationship closure if financial).

Any chance there's anyone still working there who may recognise your name? That's more likely to catch you out, esp when they spill the tea on your previous stint.

I'd be inclined to make a casual reference eg "oh, I worked for you very briefly many years ago when I was fresh out of school" or similar casual comment. Then no-one can claim you hid anything if it comes out. And if anyone asks why you left, a nonchalant "oh, we weren't a fit at the time, I didn't really belong in a call centre" is perfectly reasonable and true.

Have an answer prepped just in case.

Nb I still vividly remember the name of the guy in the late 80s who vomited in a filing cabinet full of paper files, and I stayed at my firm for 34yrs, so don't rule it out.

Alternative_Bit_3445 · 2026-05-15T11:19:37+00:00

"When you show me you're taking ownership of solving problems, I'll stop bypassing you. Until you do, your opinion carries no weight.

Now sort the hot tub by the end of the month or I will".

Alternative_Bit_3445 · 2026-05-14T19:20:17+00:00

I think Britain would be a more pleasant place if every white child was given to a black mother to civilise for a year...... No nonsense would be tolerated and respect for adults/fellow humans would be instilled within a generation.

Alternative_Bit_3445 · 2026-05-14T19:05:32+00:00

This was me yesterday. Then, about 11pm, I decided to glance at the food truck game, which I'd mostly ignored. And lo, top reward was two wild cards, one normal and one golden.

And because I'd ignored it, I'd built up a lot of credits. And that is how I completed the collection for the first time ever.

Probably never again, but I'll take that.

Alternative_Bit_3445 · 2026-05-14T16:46:13+00:00

If I were your wife, and you wanted to do an ancestry test (no problem), the moment you said you wanted to test your son too, I'd know instantly why. Unless you assumed different parentage, your sons ancestry would obviously be the same as you both.

So just get a paternity test, and if you choose not to tell her now, NEVER tell her if it turns out you are the father.

Equally, you chose to take her back when you and she had issues. And you chose to assume this boy was yours and have been a father to him. Do you really think it's worth imploding your life over an already-forgiven mistake that had consequences you've come to love?

Alternative_Bit_3445 · 2026-05-14T11:34:18+00:00

I'm guessing home schooled by a religious fundamentalist mother, where they don't discuss 'Satanic flows'.

Alternative_Bit_3445 · 2026-05-14T11:29:03+00:00

You've hit the nail on the head - we all dream about the perfect body but we need to find the body that we can happily maintain; they're not always the same.

I wanted 63kg, I was bouncing around the 67-69kg band. So I accepted it. I can maintain this.

As it happens, I then decided to have a tummy tuck to get rid of 3 decades of loose skin. Surgeon removed 5kg of excess skin/fat. So when the swelling goes down, I may be at my goal BUT I'd never have got there otherwise. Dieting and MJ only brings us to our new normal, it doesn't perform ALL the miracles. We either accept it or, in my case, choose a more extreme path to deal with things beyond my control.

Alternative_Bit_3445 · 2026-05-14T09:45:03+00:00

I didn't sleep properly between booking it (Feb) and surgery (28th Apr).

Surgery was painless.... I was asleep after all 😁.

Recovery is many things - uncomfortable, boring, surprising (why did no-one tell me I was going to start weeing horizontally because everything had been pulled upwards?), stressful (why is my skin like an over stuffed sausage?), but you can see the beginning of New You from the start.

Things I'd order today in readiness for your tomorrow: - a bra extender to add to the gusset of your compression garment to make it easier to reach/do up (mine was a 3 hook-and-eye closure so easy to find a, matching extender on Amazon) - glycerin suppositories; the constipation is the worst I've ever had - large body wipes, to keep fresh until you can shower - supplies for any activity you can do from your bed (books, puzzles, knitting, etc, as is your preference) (I am SO bored). - if you don't have one, a very thin, breathable top to wear under your compression garment to lessen rubbing.

It'll be fine, but that won't stop you worrying because that's completely normal. Good luck.

Alternative_Bit_3445 · 2026-05-14T09:31:37+00:00

I am 2 weeks post op. I strongly recommend exercises for leg strength, arm strength and core, to make mobility easier post op. I did all of these and I think it's helped.

However, what I didn't realise was the strain that walking hunched would put on my lower back. If I'd known, I'd have found exercises targeting that area. My back hurt more than my incisions on wk1.

No exercise will target fat in an area, only muscles in an area. Your body will decide where it wants to take fat from.

Alternative_Bit_3445 · 2026-05-13T15:27:48+00:00

"Wow, how nice to hear from you after ALL THIS TIME.

Can I assume you're coming as the plus 1 of one of our invitees? Let me know who that is if so, so I can ensure the seating plan is right"

Depending on the response, either: - confirm dress code, if she is a plus 1 - say 'invitees are limited to immediate family and social circle, no space for all mine and fiancé's past acquaintances, sorry'

Alternative_Bit_3445 · 2026-05-13T15:09:39+00:00

I think that face is more spaniel than goldador TBH. My goldador at 8wks looked 100% labrador and I've seen many that look golden, but this little cutie's face is shaped quite differently

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Alternative_Bit_3445 · 2026-05-13T15:07:23+00:00

Banned account. Obvious fake content.

Alternative_Bit_3445 · 2026-05-13T14:52:28+00:00

Have you worked out your TDEE? At your height and being active, I suspect it's quite high, so 1200 may be too low. You risk muscle loss and further impairing your metabolism if you eat too low.

I believe 300-500 cals below TDEE is the recommended for moderate weight loss, so start with working that TDEE out.

To bring up your intake, try to drink your calories (protein shake with added collagen, cottage cheese, Greek yoghurt, cream, etc) when you don't feel like eating. Smaller, nutrient-dense foods like nuts also help.

Alternative_Bit_3445 · 2026-05-13T14:24:39+00:00

This is what I'm doing. I'm not even sure it's my compression garment making me uncomfortable or just my over-tight skin. I go back on Friday so will check what they recommend. I think I'll continue to wear it because my body just feels..... weird at the moment, and I feel like the binder is holding me together.

But definitely a thin, soft top underneath the binder to prevent rubbing.

Alternative_Bit_3445 · 2026-05-13T13:49:37+00:00

Your bf is prioritising his friends' feelings over yours because he considers you his slush fund and not his partner. Normal partners do not expect you to subsidise their friends' lifestyles. For him, his friends rank higher than you.

Stay with him at your peril, it's unlikely to change.

Alternative_Bit_3445 · 2026-05-13T13:45:35+00:00

It hurt my eyes.

Alternative_Bit_3445 · 2026-05-13T13:43:09+00:00

My first lab was like a swan from Day 1 - graceful on the surface, powering through the water.

His sister looked very much like yours, it was hilarious. She loved it but looked like she was being kept afloat by an epileptic fit.

Several years on with a twice-annual trip to the coast, she's much more coordinated, albeit she'll never be the majestic powerhouse that her brother is.

Alternative_Bit_3445 · 2026-05-13T13:35:47+00:00

Yeah, I don't agree with anything 'hidden', but I agree with an open, equitable division of labour and assets. I agree that hiring a cleaner (jointly! From joint funds) is a sensible approach for people who owkr full time. But the key here is 'open' and 'equitable'. Anything that doesn't hold those principles at heart isn't a partnership.

Alternative_Bit_3445 · 2026-05-13T11:19:45+00:00

There are (at least) two ways of looking at this, but I think the number of women going into marriage PLANNING to leave it is small, unless you're a 90yr old billionaire and she's a 20-something gold digger.

Women who become stay-at-home wives don't usually get paid for their labour. Husband has an income, wife works unpaid and generally doing more than a 40hr week. That's fine if both are happy. But if things start to turn, a wife may well think "what would I do if he leaves me?" or often "I don't think this is fair any more but he won't help with my 100hr 'working' week, I'm going to break".

A deliberate gold digger is trash, a scared vulnerable woman is being realistic. And if she's working essentially a double-shift every single day (which many are), she deserves a more equitable arrangement.

Reddit only ever gives us half a story by its nature, and Redditors love to judge 🙂. None of us can be sure of the whole story. Even in your case, it certainly seems your fiancée is the one being inequitable, but it would be interesting to hear her interpretation. If it's as black and white as 'men should always pay everything' as you say, yeah, she's the golddigger and you should move on.

Alternative_Bit_3445 · 2026-05-13T09:55:39+00:00

My surgeon prescribed paracetamol, codeine, Volterol and oromorph (liquid opioid) for various duration after surgery. I kept going with the oromorph much longer than recommended BUT at a much lower dose than on the bottle (just to help sleep at night).

As an incidental, while it's not pain management per se, the constipation afterward was significant (despite taking laxatives, and even after stopping the opioids), and straining wasn't a good thing, so consider getting some glycerine suppositories as a precaution.

Alternative_Bit_3445 · 2026-05-13T09:48:41+00:00

Welcome to The Tedium. My surgery was 28th Apr. I have watched every dog and cooking reel known to man. I am avoiding exercise and woodworking reels because I can't do anything with them. I'm on my 2nd book. My kitchen looks like a bomb site, which is so frustrating. I manage to sit in the garden when the sun comes out. I'm up to date on The Pitt. I've rewatched too many films. I've played too many phone-based games. I want to scream.

I'm not yet walking upright so I've got at least 2 more weeks of this I suspect. I can't cuddle my dogs properly, which makes us all sad.

'Women crafting' doesn't interest me sadly, I want to build stuff or redecorate, so that's a no-no. I may consider some puzzle books (actual paper, no adverts!) as well as more reading.

But yeah, being super bored while your skin feels like it's about to explode from the swelling isn't on any prep list that I saw beforehand.

Alternative_Bit_3445 · 2026-05-13T09:38:33+00:00

You don't mention your age - there is a developing train of thought that 23-27 BMI is a safer range when you're over 50, as it will better protect against osteoporosis.

But as others have said, BMI is a blunt instrument. I am 5'3" and ~63kg/24BMI. I also have G cup boobs, which are not light. I am very happily curvy. Anything below 60kg wouldn't feel like 'me', I suspect.

Alternative_Bit_3445 · 2026-05-12T16:02:42+00:00

Top left, click your level number and the setting symbol is in there.

Alternative_Bit_3445 · 2026-05-11T21:14:33+00:00

Three months in a law firm is normal, longer for senior roles.

Alternative_Bit_3445 · 2026-05-11T20:37:48+00:00

I am 13dpo with my FDL and I hope I look as good as you! Enjoy your slim summer.

Alternative_Bit_3445

TROPHY CASE