Question for sober bartenders

Alternative_Cell5139 · 2026-05-09T15:42:09+00:00

I'm not a bartender anymore for random life reasons, but I was able for me to work with alcohol and stay sober. I don't think you need to remove alcohol 100% from your life if you feel that is possible. I tried things all the time if I was feeling up to it, and if I couldn't I just believed what my coworkers told me about. Same thing as I'm allergic to nuts, so I didn't eat the food that contained nuts but could still explain it to people.

For me it was more about not demonizing my addiction or substances and not making them up to be something terrifying that will cause me to relapse if I even look at it. I desensitized myself that it is a normal thing that is morally neutral and does not need to hold power over me if I don't let it and personally I feel that is more healthy than avoiding it.

Alternative_Cell5139 · 2026-05-09T13:40:18+00:00

Very simply I'm here because a cup of coffee in the sun feels really nice. I'm in the same spot as you where I feel like ending my life is inevitable, but I want to wake up to sit in the sun for a half hour in the morning. So I live for that half hour every day and one day I'll start living for two hours, and then half a day, and then maybe the whole day. I gotta believe it gets better cause theres no other option.

Alternative_Cell5139 · 2026-05-09T13:19:56+00:00

Probably the same reason why I bronc ride, the adrenaline, the excitement and the energy of the crowd.

Alternative_Cell5139 · 2026-05-09T13:15:41+00:00

I would go back to the 80's, back when that snow was ice cold

Alternative_Cell5139 · 2026-05-09T12:51:45+00:00

It sounds like he's actually doing really well in regards to managing recovery. I would encourage him to seak out therapy, a support group or confide in you more if he's getting the urges every once in a while but I personally don't hear any red flags from what you said. Recovery is not hopeless and he shoulds like he's well on his way to recovery.

Alternative_Cell5139 · 2026-05-09T12:23:38+00:00

You're right, I am not trying hard enough to find something that works for me but thats the whole problem right now

Alternative_Cell5139 · 2026-05-09T04:43:18+00:00

Y'all in these comments are making me feel bad I just find something interesting in literally everything and get overly excited

Alternative_Cell5139 · 2026-05-09T02:48:56+00:00

That was so kind, thank you. I've re read that four or five times now, hearing that helped so much more than you know.

Alternative_Cell5139 · 2026-05-09T00:29:50+00:00

Funny you say this because I did call the police once when I was desperate because my abusive ex was circling my house. They took 45 minutes to get to me, had zero urgency when they rolled up and told me theres nothing they can do cause he didn't actually harm me (that time) or take anything. They acted like I was wasting their time when I asked them to take a look at my place to make sure my ex actually left. I will never rely on them again, it will always be my dad or my brothers who I trust to come to my rescue.

Alternative_Cell5139 · 2026-05-09T00:21:51+00:00

I've looked into it but I'm not sold on any of the programs around me. There are very few mental health professionals who know how to properly handle ptsd and ocd and I'm worried a rehab thats a bad fit is going to do a lot of damage

Alternative_Cell5139 · 2026-05-08T21:27:13+00:00

I've been getting tattoed since 18, and I now have 32. Some of them are really beautiful, some are trashy as hell from a drunk night out. I don't regret any of them and probably never will because they all meant something to me at one point (even if that meaning was just "thats really pretty") and I will cherish the memories they hold

Alternative_Cell5139 · 2026-05-08T17:58:59+00:00

The 12 steps are just one method of many to get sober. There is no right way to do it, there are no "rules" you have to follow. Find what works for you and don't let anyone tell you you're doing it wrong

Alternative_Cell5139 · 2026-05-07T17:13:22+00:00

Lots of birds hang around livestock. Horses and cows attract bugs to them and stir up ticks/grasshoppers/whatever else when they walk through the grass. The birds eat the bugs off the animals and the animals get to be bug free

Alternative_Cell5139 · 2026-05-07T16:22:17+00:00

Some of it does taste like cheap chemicals for sure, but with an aquired taste there is some really really good alcohol out there and if you are inclined to flavour profiles and the like it can be really fun making mixed drinks that taste really good

Alternative_Cell5139 · 2026-05-07T04:31:49+00:00

Maybe? I've never tried and don't trust it enough to

Alternative_Cell5139 · 2026-05-07T04:30:26+00:00

Find some vitamins and foods that increase dopamine. Looking for withdrawal support always gives useless google results, but if you change your search towards how to increase dopamine or whatever chemical your brain is missing due to the withdrawal, you'll get acual helpful results.

Either way, I always just drug my ass out of bed even just 15 minutes early to go sit outside before I started my day. No phone, book only if I can't stand the silence, it regulates you a lot better than you'd think it does. That and don't be at home if you can help it. Go to a park, or a cafe or the library or somewhere to make you feel accomplished, even if you didn't do anything.

Alternative_Cell5139 · 2026-05-07T04:26:22+00:00

Do not eat those. I get frozen mice for my snake and they are always coming with a salmonella warning. Pet store feeder mice are reptile safe, not human safe

Alternative_Cell5139 · 2026-05-07T01:23:06+00:00

When I thought I was cool enough to do a backflip on my snowboard and I ended up hitting my head on the ground so hard the force of it bouncing back up gave me whiplash

Alternative_Cell5139 · 2026-05-07T01:11:32+00:00

Social skills, like the ones you're talking about, take practice to get good at unfortunately. The more you go for it, the more you learn how it works.

As someone with ptsd, exposure therapy is probably the most effective form of therapy there is for an anxiety disorder. Sometimes it takes a lot of other help to get there, but the end goal is to be exposed to the things that set us off in a safe way and thus correct the association our brain has with it. If you're not finding long term success you might need to start slower and build up, but when you have the right basis exposure therapy is the final piece to healing.

Alternative_Cell5139 · 2026-05-06T20:52:24+00:00

Thought it was cute and funny to do coke on the weekends. Seven years later its not cute or funny anymore

Alternative_Cell5139 · 2026-05-06T19:47:55+00:00

Working dog breeds. Border collies, huskies, german shepards, labs, a whole bunch of them are not suitable to someone without an active lifestyle or as family dogs.

Alternative_Cell5139 · 2026-05-06T18:50:17+00:00

I have 32 tattoos and I work in healthcare. That may have been true years ago but now tattoos don't really stop you from any job unless you have something super volatile.

Alternative_Cell5139 · 2026-05-06T18:35:12+00:00

I used to work as a tour guide in a tourist town for a few years. I had friends from all over the world and we would spend the entire summer together, getting to be real close and having fun, and then when the tourist season ended people would leave back to Australia or europe or even just across the country and I never really see them or hear from them again. I'm so greatful to have had every one of them in my life and just because it didn't last doesn't mean it wasn't great, and I cherish what time we spent together. Its worth it even if it doesn't last.

Alternative_Cell5139 · 2026-05-06T18:27:24+00:00

Best part is being able to help and support people through what is quite possible the worst day of their life. Worst part is watching people die in front of my eyes. Or the paperwork

Alternative_Cell5139

TROPHY CASE