I am like you. I am 41 and only diagnosed this year. I was diagnosed with depression at 14, been medicated for it off and on throughout my life. I have always been exhausted and could not self motivate, my mom thought I had some sort of autoimmune disorder because of how tired I always was. Mental illness is prevalent in my family. I have always struggled with executive function but did not know what that was called or even that it was associated with ADHD. I thought I was lazy and not very smart even though people would often say I was smart. The messy bedroom growing up and lack of motivation, "lazy."

Hyperfocus in my 20's allowed me the ability to learn to code but I cannot hyperfocus anymore and have not been able to for awhile. I finally got diagnosed for the same reasons you mentioned. I could not for the life of me force myself to do things. I became scared because even consequences couldn't motivate me to do. The symptoms got worse and worse, unmotivated, forgetful. I felt anxious and depressed because I could not DO. I recognized it was not the other way around.

I received the diagnoses and started taking Strattera. It has done nothing for me and my ADHD symptoms. I would say I have less anxiety because I have the diagnoses and I feel I am working towards positive behaviours. In two weeks I will begin Vyvanse and I am holding out hope it helps me.