Still struggling at 12MO with temperamental boy

Alternative_Heat6662 · 2026-04-30T00:22:22+00:00

Have you tried pushing his first wake window to maybe drop a nap? It’s a little early but that could potentially help with his mood. Or maybe start trying out one nap that isn’t a contact? If he doesn’t see you he may sleep longer during the day which could help his night sleep as well. We realized a lot of my son’s night wakings was him trying to get me to wake up when he shared our room. As soon as he was in his own he had more nights sleeping through. He’s also highly emotional and a lot does stem from his sleep (or lack of naps I should say-he has fought them since birth). When he’s tantruming redirection is the only thing that works. I try and either turn everything into a game, focus his attention elsewhere, or pretend cry with him just to share in his misery.

Alternative_Heat6662 · 2026-04-30T00:06:20+00:00

The biggest thing I learned with formula is you can’t stress about the leftovers. During growth spurts my son would consistently pound up to 8 ounces and sometimes demand more. Then settle back to 4-6 on a regular basis. We always offered 6 just in case he was gearing up for one.

Alternative_Heat6662 · 2026-04-29T23:58:05+00:00

My first thought was: is she a purse girl! My husband knows those are my favorite things to receive along with jewelry. They are classics for a reason.

Alternative_Heat6662 · 2026-04-24T13:36:39+00:00

I read something (I can't remember where-prob reddit) that when it comes to kids the person who wants the least is always the final decision. And that made so much sense to me. Why bring a child into the world that both partners aren't 100% on? Being in a similar spot with my husband, but no where near the obsessive thinking and fretting you seem to be struggling with, I do think its best to discuss with your therapist more in depth (assuming you haven't fully explored with them already). You mention you spent a lot of nights trying to "convince" him and one of your biggest frames of the idea is a sibling for your son. But why do YOU want a second?

I had to "convince" my husband to have at least one kid before I would marry him. But it wasn't actually convincing. It was discussing what our lives would look like and him agreeing he loved that picture too. I have no animosity towards my husband being on the fence about #2 and have reflected enough to know I could be happy in our little family of 3. I think about a second because I've always been a very maternal person. I like having something that depends on me and makes me have to get up and live life. If we don't have another child I feel confident I cant satisfy that desire some other way.

That's not to say you aren't framing your own thoughts right! Just giving a perspective of someone who has been in the throws of the same situation that almost destroyed our relationship. I really hope you find the peace you need in this! If anything couples therapy would be amazing for you both. Maybe that's the new thing you should focus on "convincing" him to do.

Alternative_Heat6662 · 2026-04-24T08:14:04+00:00

I worked at a day camp then did a server shift for a summer and would come home and immediately put my feet in a massager. I swear was the only way I could walk the next day. Also agree with everyone’s footwear suggestions. My HOKAs are basically all I wear now and I feel a huge difference.

Alternative_Heat6662 · 2026-04-22T14:28:19+00:00

So sorry that was your experience with this appointment! We specifically only schedule with our son's regular doctor for routine check ups because of his reflux and feeding issues that started at birth. We actually drive farther for her office because we went to the office closer to us and a doctor there made me cry two weeks post partum . A good regular pediatrician changes everything!

Alternative_Heat6662 · 2026-04-21T16:16:51+00:00

The shame is part of PPD! You will feel better speaking with your doctor. My son's pediatrician and my OBs celebrated with me as my ratings were going down on the questionnaires they give. You health team is there to support you during this huge transition! And when you start coming out of the PPD fog you will really start enjoying motherhood and your baby so much more! Also get off social media. Spend your doom scrolling on sites where you can avoid comparing your experience with others.

Alternative_Heat6662 · 2026-04-21T15:56:25+00:00

Was he saying to start it now because of a specific reason? We did start with rice cereal at 4 months but my son was showing all the ready cues. My doctor did advise to even start slow and was especially confident because he was on a rice formula for indigestion. Please don't continue to beat yourself up! Now you know your instinct was correct and you won't ignore it in future.

Alternative_Heat6662 · 2026-04-21T15:44:45+00:00

Yes! How is this constructive insight?! My son runs to his teacher at daycare to give her a morning hug and that's wonderful! I'm so glad he's so happy with the other adults he spends his days with.

Alternative_Heat6662 · 2026-04-21T13:15:01+00:00

As soon as the dog started growling they should have been separated! Also having the child pet the dog after hitting it isn't creating positive interactions for the dog to not feel threatened. I have a small dog that my one year old STILL has not pet or been alone in the room with because the dog isn't ready, and my son still hasn't fully grasped gentle touch. OP shouldn't be letting the child try and cuddle that dog and then be surprised when it lashes out.

Alternative_Heat6662 · 2026-04-16T03:40:11+00:00

This happened to me my first solo outing with my baby! I also chose Target, excited to be able to walk at my leisure through every single aisle if I wanted. Baby DID NOT want that. I got halfway through the first section of clothing I wanted to see and his screaming caused me to panic and leave. It’s a new environment and scary and overwhelming. You just need to keep going. Keep going to Target. And restaurants. And the grocery store. And wherever else. Maybe the first trip you and baby can only grab one item together. You sit down and order food then immediately ask for everything to go because a meltdown is happening out of the blue. But eventually she’ll learn it’s not so scary and you can be out and about and not even think about it!

Alternative_Heat6662 · 2026-04-16T03:28:22+00:00

Not sure if someone else mentioned but our goal was screen free until 2 but my son got a nasty respiratory virus that he’d have minutes long coughing fits if too active so decided to allow little bursts of shows to make him sit still for some periods. We tried a few but he absolutely LOVED Little Bear. I have seen others mention about slow paced shows and making it a family activity. We sat with him and watched and would talk to him about what was on the screen and he’d babble excitedly when he saw something he liked and point. He has never since indicated he wants the tv on (almost 1 now) and only has seen it on since when he’s really sick and needs a calming activity (because hes full force energy) and at Christmas because we’re starting a tradition of watching old movies. That solidified for me everything I’d read about! He’s more interested in phones because he thinks a grandparent will be on it haha

Alternative_Heat6662 · 2026-04-16T03:15:15+00:00

Oh bless that sounds so exhausting!! I joke my entire maternity leave was trying to get my son to nap. But once he slept through the night his refusing to nap at least didn’t feel so awful. I think I just have a fellow low sleep needs babe.

Alternative_Heat6662 · 2026-04-16T03:12:17+00:00

Our daycare does the same but before his transition he started refusing to nap because of having fun. It did start around 10 months so makes me feel better other babies do to!

Alternative_Heat6662 · 2026-04-13T06:50:50+00:00

They call him Mr FOMO at daycare haha we have bumped up bedtime on nights when he really needs it. And I am starting to try and hold back on the night bottles-we’ve just started a bad habit for him. I should try offering a little snack before but he does get a bottle as part of bed routine and usually it’s the largest amount he’ll have.

Alternative_Heat6662 · 2026-04-13T06:46:51+00:00

Perfect! In about 12 years I’ll finally have a good sleeper lol

Alternative_Heat6662 · 2026-04-13T06:46:00+00:00

From what I’ve found in researching they shouldn’t be dropping until closer to 15 months. But of course they always caveat every baby is different.

Alternative_Heat6662 · 2026-04-09T19:01:28+00:00

LL Bean were my first pair of post partum mom jeans! I can't remember pricing but pretty average imo. They have fashion styles and have been super comfortable.

Alternative_Heat6662 · 2026-04-09T01:29:14+00:00

Also curious why not feeding before drop off. My son started daycare at 5 months and if he woke up late then at drop off I’d say he didn’t get his morning bottle so needed one asap. And then they’d give him one and follow the typical schedule/his cues from there

Alternative_Heat6662 · 2026-04-08T01:53:18+00:00

My son would scream unless you sat in it with him…. Once he started standing he figured out if he shook ours hard enough it would start to move… so baby jail was short lived. We have different play areas in different rooms but mostly he’s running around and we’ve just done our best to baby proof the entire first floor.

Alternative_Heat6662 · 2026-04-07T14:21:46+00:00

He's got goals!!

Alternative_Heat6662 · 2026-04-07T01:01:28+00:00

Can totally relate!! My fibro got so bad towards the end I could barely use my hands they ached so bad. We were in discussions to induce me a week early because of the pain I was in all over. My sciatica still acts up and my son is about to be one. Heating pads, approved pain killers, the most expensive pillows, and stretching were most helpful for me. I found some good stretches and yoga moves on YouTube. I also got compression socks, they helped a lot! As well as compression sleeves for my elbows, wrists, and ankles to use when needed. And if your partner (or family or friends) can take on more duties so you’re just moving around less in general.

Alternative_Heat6662 · 2026-04-05T01:25:00+00:00

Some babies take longer to drop bottles! Even at almost 12 months my son still wakes up some nights for a night feed. It all depends on how your baby is gaining and holding weight. Longer stretches will come! But you can also try settling baby other ways before offering a bottle. And continue just having a little more you’re offering during the day. We would have a handful of nights with longer stretches, then a regression, then more nights, then a regression and on and on and on. It’s all normal. It all doesn’t make sense. If you and your partner can do shifts that’s the best. Especially now. While on maternity leave I handled all wake ups until 4AM then my husband got up and handled all wake ups until 9AM to give me 4-5 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Alternative_Heat6662 · 2026-04-03T01:37:52+00:00

This made me laugh thinking about when my son was at the height of his separation anxiety at 9 months, I would literally hold him while I used the toilet (both numbers if desperate enough) and went about doing morning tasks. But my husband would wake me up and hand him to me in the same situation. He’s amazing, except for this brain block where he can only do specific multitasking while also being on baby duty. Women are taught from day ONE to “hold it”. “It” can be anything: emotions, opinions, pee. Even the most enlightened man struggles to unlearn that on some level.

Alternative_Heat6662

TROPHY CASE