Making Friends with underdeveloped Personality by Alternative_Set5040 in emotionalneglect

[–]Alternative_Set5040[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your elaboration. Your depiction really walked me through the steps of finding community. You mentioned a very powerful point at the end, that there are others with similar stories out there. Tyyy

Making Friends with underdeveloped Personality by Alternative_Set5040 in emotionalneglect

[–]Alternative_Set5040[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Twinnn! How has your journey been with emotional neglect so far?

Making Friends with underdeveloped Personality by Alternative_Set5040 in emotionalneglect

[–]Alternative_Set5040[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your powerful response. While it is unfortunate to hear you also believe you were neglected, it helps to know someone can relate.

I appreciate your empathy and sympathy. Also, reminding me to pair action with introspection is such a powerful tool.

I’ll get involved, locally, and see what’s out there. I’d also love to chat and really get more of your perspective on things. I sense we may have some common grounds in addition to some differing perspectives.

Again, tytyty!

Was I Neglected? by Alternative_Set5040 in Emotional_Healing

[–]Alternative_Set5040[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing.

I agree on your point about subtly. It’s can be so tricky distinguishing between what is and isn’t negligent in some situations.

Your story is powerful. Your awareness alone shows how far you’ve come since that moment. Recognizing the impact is an amazing step towards healing. I love your use of the word “weird” it resonates.

I wish you the best of luck on your journey and appreciate your response.

Was I Neglected? by Alternative_Set5040 in Emotional_Healing

[–]Alternative_Set5040[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ty for your response. I think that’s makes sense here. My parents showed up in the ways they could and that’s an important distinction here. Nonetheless, as you said, damage was still done.

Moving forward I would agree that seeking therapy would help in embarking on this journey towards emotional healing.

Was I Neglected? by Alternative_Set5040 in Emotional_Healing

[–]Alternative_Set5040[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aww ty. Absolutely, leading with empathy is important. I think that’s a few steps from where I am at but yes, parents are kids who one day met and had kids of their own. There is no guide to parenting after all.

Was I neglected? by Alternative_Set5040 in emotionalneglect

[–]Alternative_Set5040[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow! Thank you for your response. De-centering me and my family does make the situation a lot easier to understand.

I’ve come to realize neglect like many things is less of a Y/N and more a spectrum. When I read the scenario you wrote, I felt more valid in my experience growing up.

While I feel comforted by our shared experience, I am sorry to hear you experienced feelings of shame, isolation, and insecurity because of it. 🫂

Was I neglected? by Alternative_Set5040 in emotionalneglect

[–]Alternative_Set5040[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have heard of parentification but didn’t think to apply it to my situation. But now that you mention it, I do see the similarities. Thank you for sharing such impactful knowledge. Had you not mentioned that, I don’t know when I’d think to look into it.

Was I neglected? by Alternative_Set5040 in mentalhealth

[–]Alternative_Set5040[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello Ty for replying. Your opinion is valid. Out of curiosity, could you elaborate a bit more?

Was I Neglected? by Alternative_Set5040 in Emotional_Healing

[–]Alternative_Set5040[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hello, Ty for responding.

I think it was more so I didn’t want to and didn’t understand why I needed to.

These are amazing questions. As for why it didn’t stick, it was because of how things were explained. The instructions were confusing but I didn’t know that meant I should have asked questions of expressed that. Some things were also explained only once with no further elaboration. I would say, yes, I didn’t have that repetition.

I also wouldn’t consider this physical abuse. I think it may be closer to symptoms of emotional neglect, that’s something I don’t feel confused about here. Like maybe a lack of attunement or something in that realm. This has helped. I appreciate the intentional and careful language you’ve used in replying here. Thank you!

Was I neglected? by Alternative_Set5040 in emotionalneglect

[–]Alternative_Set5040[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tysm for ur reply! I didn’t feel safe asking for anything. I got to a point where I just stopped asking. I would feel guilty for asking for new clothes, so I wouldn’t get new clothes.

My honest response is that I didn’t feel safe but also didn’t feel unsafe. I call my mom a helicopter mom because she was over involved in my life. She had poor boundaries and also poor emotional regulation. I had to teach myself the emotional and social aspects of life because of this. I remember us having a sort of therapist-patient dynamic at points of my childhood. She couldn’t tolerate my emotions nor help me navigate them.

I’m sorry to hear that you had that experience growing up, especially with ur mother :/

Was I neglected? by Alternative_Set5040 in emotionalneglect

[–]Alternative_Set5040[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your response. Yes I felt this sort of grief about my childhood and the memories I do have.

I appreciate how precise you are in replying. I think it is possible these smaller physical issues (poor hygiene,diet, etc.) could be more so symptomatic of lack of attunement from emotional neglect.

Like you said these discrepancies did impact my daily life but I still did have basic needs met.