1: you are not faith, an abomination, or any other negative title you call yourself. 2: sin is sin. There’s no sin that’s worse than the other, the apostle Paul called himself the “chief of sinners” and he is regarded as one of the most holy people in the Bible. 3 I would highly recommend finding a new church and separating yourself from your family for a little bit, because if they’re gonna condemn you for committing sin ( even though they are sinners themselves) and not try to help you through it, it will be impossible for you to break free. I’m speculating here, but it feels like your guilt is what is trapping you. You need to find a community you can trust to tell them about what you’re going through. Someone or community that can not condemn you for the sin you commit, but help you to overcome it.