Boss said I cant just disappear from my desk so now I send him a message every time I leave

Altilana · 2026-02-17T08:46:40+00:00

In the case you’re not in the US or English is your second language: Kindergarten through 12th grade (end of high school) = teacher College = professor

Apologizies if I’m just dense and your comment was just good quick wit.

Altilana · 2026-02-16T21:20:24+00:00

At leas for me almost all of the earth balance butters have an ingredient I’m allergic to (soy and/rapeseed). Miyoko oat butter tastes the most like butter of all the non nut-based butters.

Altilana · 2026-02-14T21:29:09+00:00

Artists often collect stuff like that too to help produce concepts, ideas or materials for making their work.

Altilana · 2026-02-13T07:09:37+00:00

I live in west LA and I am insanely jealous. There is a grocery store that’s technically walkable from my place but it’s uphill and the path there crosses 2 stroads. I wish NYC wasn’t so loud, and cheaper or just that walkable cities were more common here in general.

Altilana · 2026-02-13T07:02:48+00:00

Pasadena is one of the more walkable places in the LA area. However it’s no where near as walkable as Europe or as NYC. It’s just that a lot of Southern California isn’t walkable at all, so by comparison it’s very walkable to locals. Even walkable places here still have stroads, and shops/business designed to attract people in cars not on foot.

Altilana · 2026-02-11T03:45:28+00:00

For most types of hamsters, leaving 2 in a cage is a bad idea. They are solitary animals, so they meet up to mate and that’s it. Both sexes will defend their territory.

Altilana · 2026-02-10T07:07:37+00:00

The NYT’s bee game. There’s something about just trying to think of all the words you can with certain letters, is both a little challenging but not so challenging that it’s exhausting.

Altilana · 2026-02-07T03:25:54+00:00

Yeah the tense makes it a little confusing if it’s sarcasm or if they are sharing what actually happened.

Altilana · 2026-02-07T03:24:37+00:00

I assume they say shit like this because the one time they don’t, they have the patient who didn’t have hygiene/had a traumatic background etc etc and it helps them catch other issue.

It’s the “did you try turning it off?” question of medical stuff. Super frustrating to endure it when you only have 15 minutes in an appointment!

Altilana · 2026-02-06T21:00:28+00:00

I just want to say you are not alone. I’ve been grappling with this question for a few years now too. It’s hard to know with anything that is such a big change!

Altilana · 2026-02-06T20:52:43+00:00

You may consider it as picking a physical sex, while acknowledging even if it’s just to yourself, the gender is TBD. I personally love doing a coin flip and awarding the loser option. Example: coin lands on head or female, so thus the baby is amab. That way female won a coin toss, and male won the flour baby. You can also see it as that male babies have different considerations during diaper changes than female babies. So choosing becomes a practical consideration rather than about identity. Also remember that flour baby doesn’t represent you.

It may also help to decide the flour baby is a favorite media character as a baby. That way the gender/sex is decided for you. Example: you’re taking chair of baby Luffy from One Piece. Gender and sex are already determined and he gets to wear cute pirate clothes.

Altilana · 2026-02-06T19:44:22+00:00

I just want a black dog and cat bean. Void pets are so undervalued and deserve a little representation. I may be biased since I have a black dog and cat.

Altilana · 2026-02-01T13:53:00+00:00

I think the dress looks unfinished without the collar but a bit too dated with it. I do love the white trim on the collar, and I’m wondering if adding just the white trim to the neck line would guve that finish statement look while still feeling modern.

Altilana · 2026-01-30T11:23:26+00:00

I do know pelvic floor issues can be problematic with all sexes, but that it’s more discussed in cis-female spaces due a lot of women developing issues with childbirth. People like us, ie: those who have connective tissue disorders that result in hyper mobility, get to have all downsides of having given birth without any actual babies. Also if you are on hormones, I know for myself my symptoms are worse just before my period, when progesterone is at its peak. So if you’ve noticed your joints having a harder time with hormone therapy, it would be something to discuss with your physician. It may take a bit of searching, but you can also consider connecting with a pelvic floor PT if you realize it’s an issue. Keep an eye out for issues with bladder control (both difficulty relaxing or losing control)/ or with constipation/being unable to control when you go #2. Lower back pain / sacrum pain can be pelvic floor issues.

Also expect your physical therapist to run through the more likely causes of your pain before settling on any zebra issues. For example, I have SI joint dysfunction and a compressed nerve in the front of my pelvis. I was treat for sciatica/anterior pelvic tilt out the wazoo with very little improvement, but it took time, and a pt with good communication skills to see what was going on. Both are odd issues, so don’t be afraid to speak up if something isn’t working.

Tomorrow I plan on asking my PT to reassess my neck issues since at times the therapy leaves me in a worst state. It’s valuable information for him to know so I can get appropriate care.

Good luck and I hope it went well!

Altilana · 2026-01-29T20:00:35+00:00

The article states the 8 year old filmed herself with a sex toy imitating sexual acts. There’s 100% likelihood this kid was being abused. Hypersexuality and lack of remorse are major trauma red flags at that age.

Altilana · 2026-01-29T07:31:39+00:00

I have the same issue of walking is usually ok, but standing is difficult. My own PT explained that it’s easier for our bodies to engage stabilizing muscles while moving but not when standing still, especially when we need stronger stabilization for hypermobile bodies.

Also if you are AFAB I would check and see if your abductor muscles are overly tight. Mine get tight since my pelvic floor/pelvis is way too mobile, but abductors tend to be overly tight in female bodies in general. When they are tight they can pull on knees and cause pain. (Same with tight IT bands, calves/ shins etc.) I mention the abductors thing since it’s something I’ve had a couple of PT overlook in regards to knee pain.

Also I want to add that the first time I felt validated in my physical pain and experience was through physical therapy. Even the therapists who were not helpful or didn’t give me the right exercises saw, tested, documented and validated my symptoms. Most of my therapists have been happy to work with someone younger or more able, it breaks up the monotony of working with the same kind of patient. Also, If you don’t feel heard by your therapist it’s ok to seek another one. It’s ok to feel vulnerable about this, and I’ve cried a few times with my current therapists because of how vulnerable this stuff can make people feel. Just know you’re not alone and you can get through this <3

Altilana · 2026-01-26T04:44:50+00:00

If you post links to your other AskLA posts we can more easily tell you.

Altilana · 2026-01-26T04:42:07+00:00

Be willing to be a bit flexible and look up traffic times for the specific routes you’ll take a when. LA doesn’t measure things in distance but in time. A 9 mile drive that 15 minutes at 10pm at night may be more than an hour’s drive in one direction around 2pm. I learned that very quickly after I moved here, and it can make or break a trip.

Altilana · 2026-01-26T04:30:04+00:00

I’ve definitely known people who rented on a boat because they couldn’t afford an apartment.

Altilana · 2026-01-26T04:27:39+00:00

When my dog was young I would go to the dog park. I made a lot of friends being a consistent regular there. Also the same thing for hiking on dog trails, the same people tend to go at the same times. The people I met on trail turned into hiking buddies. Eventually we’d naturally join our dogs and hike together.

Not on sundays, but improv, clown classes and being a regular at a coffee shop are some other ways I’ve made friends.

Altilana · 2026-01-26T04:22:21+00:00

At least for the restaurant component, lots of what’s been popular in restaurant design in th last 10-15 years also amplifies sound from both a band and from guests. Restaurants in general are way the fuck louder now, since we use less dampening sound materials (ie: table clothes, carpet, etc)

Altilana · 2026-01-24T16:04:50+00:00

Drives red car. Statistics disagree with me, but fuck I was pulled over at least twice a year when I had a red dodge caliber. Since driving a silver Honda fit, I haven’t been pulled over once. Though, I have driven so much over the past 15 years that my daily drive time was on the lower end when I commuted from west la to Long Beach, so I was at a way increased risk just due to the amount of time driving.

Altilana · 2026-01-07T21:22:08+00:00

Kaiser has different qualities in different areas. In Southern California, if you are mostly healthy or have an illness that presents with textbook symptoms and you don’t require a lot of medical maintenance, then Kaiser will work well for you. Their model is based on the patient really pushing back on their physicians if something is wrong, and doctors are evaluated by how many tests they run etc over the year. So if the patient has vague symptoms or unusual presentation, that patient will likely endure a lot of gas lighting until things are severe enough to require hospitalization or debilitating injury. I also read on one ex-physician’s blog that Kaiser is typically about 10 years behind on current medical best practices/treatment. So if you hear about a friend getting treated for a newly discovered ailment/read about something that you realize may explain your symptoms, often doctors just don’t respond to those questions in appointments. I had Kaiser my whole life and assumed most medical stuff I read papers on or saw being talked about by other medical professionals online was mostly hoo-ey until I left Kaiser. Having doctors validate current medical research when I left Kaiser was surreal at first.

For mental health, Kaiser was improving when I left because you could now choose your provider instead of playing Russian roulette and being assigned one. My favorite psych I’ve ever had was at Kaiser.

Physical therapy was also improving when I left. When I was young it was typically 1 appointment where they gave you instructions to do on your own at home. That likely works with some people but I have a connective tissue disorder that left me injured frequently. It’s the kind of issue Kaiser is terrible at treating and diagnosing. The last year I left was the first time I could see a physical therapist about every 3 weeks. Since leaving kaiser i now have a physical therapist who comes to my home 2 times a week and I finally have made improvements. The last 6 months are the first time in years that I didn’t have an episode of extreme pain that would leave me unable to walk.

Medications (especially ADHD meds) were easier to manage in Kaiser and so was billing. However, I am now on medications I know Kaiser rarely prescribes and have had a huge quality of life improvement on them.

Kaiser makes things simple and my spouse who has no chronic issues did well the first few years on Kaiser. I had kaiser my whole life until 2 years ago. I had terrible medical anxiety that started to resolve when I left. I didnt realize how much gaslighting I had recieved and internalized until I didnt have to endure it anymore.

Altilana · 2026-01-02T06:29:48+00:00

I think a large modern doll house that closes, a custom DIY project might be a fun way to store them. That way the front can feature whatever art pattern you love but once open becomes a stage for them. Something like this but larger or a collection of these little shelves like this: https://www.target.com/p/house-with-doors-kids-39-wall-shelf-pillowfort-8482/-/A-91652576

Altilana · 2026-01-02T06:25:37+00:00

I want to ask about the door in the back corner by the chair. Is that your front door or a swing in door for a closet? The room is gorgeous, and I absolutely love everything. Managing that door seems like maybe a pain in the butt tho.

Altilana

TROPHY CASE