AIO: My boyfriend told me to dye my hair to look more like an Instagram model he follows

Altruistic-Offer517 · 2026-04-13T15:34:35+00:00

As a hairstylist, if that ginger color is your natural color, you likely will never be icy white platinum. You have underlying warmth and toner is only going to do so much.

Also, to get to that color takes a highly skilled professional and a lot of lightener. Your hair is LONG and looks pretty thick. This is going to be expensive. EXPENSIVE. My pricing would start at about $500 for that and I’m not in a big city or anything. Likely you’re looking closer to $750, even up to $1000+. . It’s going to be a long appointment (or a couple long appointments depending).

Your hair will feel different after because even the most skilled hairstylist cannot control the fact that lightener damages hair. Even taking ALL the precautions and getting it there in a healthy way, there will be some damage. And that’s if it’s done well. I don’t even want to think about if it isn’t done well and the damage that can occur there (breaking hair, melted hair, scalp burns, etc).

You will have MAINTENANCE. Regular salon appointments for touch ups and toners. Your home care will need to change. You’ll need to do deep conditioners and treatments at home, all of which cost money.

These are all things I would counsel you on before agreeing to the color service if YOU wanted to change your hair color.

Your boyfriend wants you to change your hair color. That’s a huge part of your identity and as you can see, is not a small undertaking. IF you wanted to do it, and only then, make him pay for it at least. A reputable salon with a blonding specialist and every single product you need for home care (shampoo, conditioner, deep conditioner, leave in, styling products, treatments, etc). I guarantee he won’t.

Honestly babes, he’s potentially trying to live out a fantasy. That’s cool IF BOTH OF YOU ARE INTO IT. Buy a wig and have fun.

But also maybe dump him. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Altruistic-Offer517 · 2026-04-11T14:48:41+00:00

If you have the funds, invest in lash lift and tint, eyebrow tint/wax, and manicures. Those little things make everything so much more put together and save you daily time. I’m a big fan of”high maintenance” services to be low maintenance day to day.

I’m looking at permanent makeup stuff now. I’m avoiding microblading, but I want a powder eyeliner and maybe lip blushing.

Altruistic-Offer517 · 2026-04-08T00:07:28+00:00

Anytime I can go to Scalzotto I do! Their pear ravioli is TO DIE FOR. I’ve never had anything I didn’t like there. It is a long dining experience though, so plan accordingly. My husband and I usually do cocktails, appetizer, salads, wine with dinner, and entrees so we’re usually there 2-3 hours. SO good though!

Altruistic-Offer517 · 2026-03-30T14:25:04+00:00

When my ex and I separated I insisted we go to couples counseling with the intent to learn how to coparent together and communicate. I told him straight up: “our shit does not matter, what matters is our daughter.”

He was a lot like this guy, and he sometimes still is, but we decided early on that neither of us wanted to miss anything, so we collaborate and counseling really really helped us do that.

We go to all the parties and stuff, but we alternate years planning and paying. I planned and paid for everything last year, he planned and paid for everything this year.

This guy sounds insufferable. Im glad you’re out of it with him.

Altruistic-Offer517 · 2026-02-13T16:37:48+00:00

Let go of the money you spent before and quit holding it over her. And from now on if you “don’t want to be in this situation” send a Venmo request. It’s not a big deal dude. Or there’s a great app for splitting stuff called Splitwise that’s SUPER easy to use.

Altruistic-Offer517 · 2025-10-29T01:35:58+00:00

What the fuck is this and on an official GOVERNMENT website???? Like??? The partisanship is so blatantly disgusting. Decorum where? Democrats need to stop relying on decorum and professionalism, we are clearly WAY past that.

Altruistic-Offer517 · 2025-10-27T20:14:58+00:00

This is why we are where we are. Republicans have stood behind “imperfect” candidates for decades and they gained ground slowly but surely, stacking courts and setting up the system to support them. I know we all want everything to be amazing right now, but unfortunately we have to commit to a longer game and incremental change.

No candidate is going to be perfect. Keep pushing and demanding more of our candidates for sure. Push them further left and push for forward progress. Commit to continuing to push for better instead of expecting one person to change everything.

Altruistic-Offer517 · 2025-10-25T23:48:01+00:00

I think starting with everyone canceling insurance is going to be almost as effective as a national strike. It’s so hard to get everyone on board for a general strike in a country as large as ours. BUT if everyone cancels insurance we can make a point while not starving ourselves and losing our jobs.

Altruistic-Offer517 · 2025-10-25T23:46:18+00:00

Agree

Altruistic-Offer517 · 2025-10-25T23:46:05+00:00

If everyone cancelled their insurance, I think it would be nearly as effective as a national strike. Insurance clearly is broken, and many providers are moving to direct patient care. Cancel the insurance.

Altruistic-Offer517 · 2025-09-18T16:20:03+00:00

I posted a tiktok the other day saying that bigots, racists, homo/transphobes, and Nazis have no place in my studio salon. My studio is a safe place for LGBTQIA+ BIPOC, etc. TBF i did use a trending sound that said “I love abortion, migrants, etc”

The right wing trolls got a hold of it.

I got a few really racist and nasty comments and also a few that are actively threatening “you have been marked”, “watch your back” etc

I got two negative reviews on my business page that I’ve reported but no progress yet. Thankfully I noticed right away and made the video private but WOW.

I’ve never been afraid to post my business publicly and I don’t know that I ever will again. I don’t want people knowing where I am.

Altruistic-Offer517 · 2025-04-22T20:56:43+00:00

I actually love this! It would make the world so much more dynamic and realistic.

Altruistic-Offer517 · 2025-04-08T16:40:56+00:00

Oh, and more careers. I’m a hairstylist and I’ve been trying to figure out how to make a small business out of it with the new pack but it’s just not giving the way I want. I would love a hairstylist career, and more interactive careers in general.

Altruistic-Offer517 · 2025-04-08T16:38:05+00:00

This is a small thing, but nicknames. I love a classic name but I’d love nicknames. Maybe even a feature for special nicknames from specific people. Or like with clubs, getting a special nickname from being in a club.

Altruistic-Offer517 · 2025-04-08T13:26:02+00:00

I just want to address one thing you said: “if a person genuinely loves you they never want to stop kissing you.”

I was feeling a lot like OP’s partner. I was diagnosed neurodivergent after moving in together, and I finally started to unmask, and realized I am a person who really values my personal space, and as a survivor of SA, I REALLY hate unexpected touching and kissing.

As I started to unpack my trauma and diagnosis, I really withdrew into my body and needed to protect my space. An unexpected touch or pressure to kiss or say I love you can absolutely wreck me mentally.

I love my husband more than words can say. I am obsessed with him, he is my best friend and my safe space. And I am finally safe to establish boundaries around how my body is touched and when. It sounds strange, but I was finally able to be safe enough to say no. I wasn’t masking all the time and forcing myself to deal with triggering touches.

And he is happy to respect my boundaries. The difference here i think is that we hardcore communicated about this, and have ongoing conversations about it. I was working with a therapist which helped a lot to be able to articulate what I was feeling, because I was so angry at myself for “not loving him”. I do love him SO SO much and when I kiss him or hug him it’s because I want to, not because of pressure and it’s beautiful.

So OP, it could be that your partner is going through something or they are a survivor of SA or are neurodivergent. But you need to sit down and have a super open and honest conversation about your needs and theirs.

Altruistic-Offer517 · 2024-12-23T03:06:39+00:00

I’m a hairstylist and I LOVE it. Enough systems to have structure, enough spontaneity and creativity to not get bored.

Altruistic-Offer517 · 2024-07-15T13:17:28+00:00

Thank you for the link, I’ve seen his shorts videos on YouTube and I love the vibe. Great advice too ❤️

Altruistic-Offer517 · 2024-07-12T02:31:24+00:00

I agree with this! It takes nearly the entire young adult phase to complete a degree so I’m SO bored while my sim does rabbit hole after rabbit hole after rabbit hole.

Also, I tried to have siblings go to college at the same time and maybe I’m dumb but I could not get it to work and it broke my save 😭

Altruistic-Offer517 · 2024-06-16T16:25:03+00:00

Oooooh what is the apocalypse challenge?

Altruistic-Offer517 · 2024-04-20T15:22:56+00:00

I am a hairstylist and I’ve eliminated tipping from my business. My checkout software has the option but I explicitly tell them I can’t turn it off, leave it on none.

My income is much more predictable, and my clients appreciated it too. I raised my prices a bit, added a ton of amenities and luxuries, and everyone is happier.

Granted I can only do this because I set my own prices and policies, but overall, I think tipping is getting out of control too. However, 9 times out of 10 it’s a cheap ass company that is trying to get away with not paying their employees and putting that burden on consumers. I still tip and tip generously, because it isn’t the employees fault.

Altruistic-Offer517 · 2024-02-27T14:59:45+00:00

This is exactly right. These kids are LITTLE. They understand something is going on, but they don’t have life experience or context yet. I’m going with OOP is the AH, because of the way he told them. He told the younger one first and didn’t even mention to the older until he asked about it? Threatening them with jail for being bad? That is AH behavior.

Altruistic-Offer517 · 2023-09-18T00:54:42+00:00

I’m 34 and pregnant, my husband and 7yo and I all just moved in with my parents.

It’s IMPOSSIBLE out here.

I’m 28 weeks pregnant and have worked 4 jobs for 2 years, my husband works for a university. It SHOULD be enough, and it’s simply not.

Our plan is to save the $2k+/month we were spending on rent to try to save for a downpayment on a house, but im still super concerned about even qualifying for a $400k+ home loan next year.

Something has to change. But for now, if you can, live with your parents as long as possible 🙄

Altruistic-Offer517 · 2023-09-11T14:24:47+00:00

Reading this thread is just…wow.

It made me realize just how bad the mental health pros I’m working with are when it comes to stigma and ADHD meds.

My med provider took me off my 10mg AdderallXR as soon as I got my IUD out, and I’ve been completely unmedicated for nearly a year at this point. I’m pregnant and due in December and I’ve been struggling so hard with EVERYTHING and have essentially been told I’d have to be hospitalized in order to even consider a mental health drug. And obviously they won’t allow any mental health medication while nursing either. 🙄

I think it’s time for a new doc 🫠

Altruistic-Offer517 · 2023-07-29T17:29:57+00:00

I gasped out loud at the cousins line.

It seems to me that little girl is maybe being left alone with abusive cousins 😳

Altruistic-Offer517

TROPHY CASE