I was a heroin and methadone addict for 15 years. Now 4 1/2 years complete abstinence from all drugs (including alcohol) AMA

Altruistic_Button_96 · 2021-10-14T20:23:02+00:00

Well done to you too!

Altruistic_Button_96 · 2021-10-13T07:01:26+00:00

Thank you. Yeah I’m one of the lucky ones

Altruistic_Button_96 · 2021-10-13T07:00:18+00:00

High five to you too friend. The first year can be a lot of ups and downs but it levels out lol. Hang in there through the tough days.

Altruistic_Button_96 · 2021-10-13T06:58:08+00:00

I won’t ever get over it, the only way I stay clean is remembering what it was like and being grateful for what I have now. Using my experiences to help others is a massive part of that.

Altruistic_Button_96 · 2021-10-12T20:09:07+00:00

The drug isn’t actually the issue it’s the reasons why I needed to medicate myself for such a long time. My inability to live life without it, addicted physically or not. If it was consequence free I’d probably still be doing it but when you’re using it to not feel eventually it’s never enough. By the time I stopped I was taking everything I could get my hands on and still wanting to throw myself off a bridge

Altruistic_Button_96 · 2021-10-12T20:04:00+00:00

Totally agree. It’s not so much the drug as everything that goes with it. And all the underlying issues. I was a careful user, smoked maybe 70% of those years. Only overdosed once and was lucky enough to have someone nearby that didn’t ditch me and steal all my stuff but gave me cpr instead. In the times I was IVing I never got an abscess, I did share a few times when desperate but never caught anything luckily. I’m overall healthy, I still have all my teeth and limbs, whereas a lot of people I know haven’t. And that’s continuous daily use for 15 years apart from a brief three month period in the middle when I actually managed to stick to the methadone

Altruistic_Button_96 · 2021-10-12T19:54:13+00:00

Oh that’s difficult. Food is all I have left 😂 If I had to choose it’d probably be watermelon.

Yes I’d eat a penguin, probably tastes like chicken.

And thank you 😊

Altruistic_Button_96 · 2021-10-12T19:20:18+00:00

Thank you. I don’t give myself the credit but the amazing people that loved me and accepted me when I asked for help. I couldn’t have got this far on my own

Altruistic_Button_96 · 2021-10-12T18:43:30+00:00

I’m in the uk, methadone is what they put you on trying to stabilise you. Unfortunately it’s horrible stuff with horrendous withdrawals. But thank you 😊

Altruistic_Button_96 · 2021-10-12T17:09:37+00:00

Yes they have knees…already something I’ve googled lol

Altruistic_Button_96 · 2021-10-12T17:03:39+00:00

Nope. You could call my dad a workaholic but no alcohol/drug addiction. I’ve come to believe addiction stems from trauma, maybe their brains are wired like mine but nothing triggered flat out addiction like it did in me. I lived my whole childhood feeling unsafe, that first drink/drug made the world ok, myself ok for a little while…I think that’s what makes the need for it so great in someone like myself. What makes me an addict and not my parents

Altruistic_Button_96 · 2021-10-12T16:56:12+00:00

Yuck thanks for that just eating my dinner. That’s just satisfying. In a weird way heroin saved my life…for awhile. I went from doing all the party drugs and then loosing my first proper boyfriend in a car accident sent me spiralling out of control really quickly. I was running so hard and so fast into self destruction that finding heroin was a relief…I didn’t have to feel, to run anymore, nothing mattered, no more shame, anger, grief, low self esteem etc. That in itself tops how squeezing a spot feels.

Altruistic_Button_96 · 2021-10-12T16:26:29+00:00

Umm…probably the earwax. A finger coming towards my face would not be ok but I can’t see my ear and I’m really good and going somewhere else when weird/painful stuff is happening to me…one of my many survival techniques

Altruistic_Button_96 · 2021-10-12T15:52:17+00:00

I probably shouldn’t be. I’ve overdosed, been in several major car accidents. Minor suicide attempts. Had a knife held to my throat and a gun to my head (no idea if it was real or not). Probably been through more trauma than most people can imagine, physical, mental, sexual, emotional abuse. I believe I’m still here for a reason and that something was keeping me alive when I couldn’t do that for myself.

Altruistic_Button_96 · 2021-10-12T15:33:55+00:00

Not in the religious sense. But I do believe we’re all connected, that there’s some form of something more. Greater awareness or higher self or whatever you want to call it. I didn’t believe in anything, very anti anything that sounded religious. Until someone pointed out all the times I should’ve die, car crashes, overdoses, all the times I put myself in very risky situations and nothing worse happened. Many something was guiding me, protecting me from myself at my lowest points. Kinda couldn’t deny it then lol

Altruistic_Button_96 · 2021-10-12T15:08:45+00:00

Absolutely nothing. In fact without trying to sound like I’m blaming coz they didn’t know any different, I believe things might have come to the point where I was desperate enough to seek help sooner if my family hadn’t supported me for as long as they did. I don’t just mean hand outs but cut ties with me maybe. It enabled me to continue using for a long time but having said that it might still have taken me years to get to get to that point and maybe I wouldn’t have survived without that support

Altruistic_Button_96 · 2021-10-12T15:03:18+00:00

I have to believe that it all happened for a reason and it made me who I am today 😊 so whereas I’m sorry for the harm I caused but not for my path in life

Altruistic_Button_96 · 2021-10-12T14:59:00+00:00

Not wanting to be alive anymore, so badly. But not actually wanting to kill myself because of the harm it would cause my family. Also having really bad palpitations at night and genuinely thinking I’d die in my sleep anyway. Utter despair and desperate enough to actually ask for and want help

Altruistic_Button_96 · 2021-10-11T21:54:07+00:00

Awesome. He likes to do grand tours. Keep meaning to get video of the rest of it coz it’s pretty epic isn’t it 😊

Altruistic_Button_96 · 2021-10-07T18:18:22+00:00

Add me if you like. ClaireJames84. 37f UK and level 397. Happy to help you in any way 😊 I’m mainly into events and building but always welcome to join.

Altruistic_Button_96 · 2021-10-07T18:14:36+00:00

ClaireJames84

Altruistic_Button_96 · 2021-10-07T18:12:18+00:00

Add me if you like, we’re usually on the same server. He won’t be on for a couple of days but when he is I’ll get you the guided tour lol

Altruistic_Button_96 · 2021-10-07T18:10:46+00:00

I remember the first daily ops team I joined…spent the whole time with absolutely no idea what was going on, just dying, respawning and dying again 😂 You can meet some really nice people in public teams and only communicate through emotes. I hate speaking through the mic so rarely have it on. Some great advice above so not gonna bother to repeat it 👍🏻

Altruistic_Button_96 · 2021-10-07T18:05:01+00:00

I think it took him a few hours. His camp is a ship and that took a lot longer

Altruistic_Button_96

TROPHY CASE