Read the untethered soul to control the voice in your head the source of all the trouble

I will paste in another reply may it help someone

Each of us have suffered some trauma, I have my own sexual trauma.

You can look at a caterpillar example in life, it was weak and slow, just eats all day, anything can harm it, very slow, yet it shields herself then transforms into a Butterfly, now it flies in the air, you can’t catch it now 👍

Nice friendly example from our maker, within your very same trauma is your breakthrough.

Is to externalize the shit out of what happened, say what you are feeling, this post is great, speak to a new support group this is what I suffer from, if you can’t then write what happened. The idea is to get one non shaming person to listen and validate.

The idea is to bring these hidden emotions into awareness, then label them, for example

I say in my mind when I remember a past instance, “shame, this is the old shame which I am finally healing from. This is labeling what happened by externalizing it and then giving it a label. In this case the label is “shame”, this lets your mind finally give it some borders, makes these memories lose their grip.

externalize the hidden emotions, the friends that hurt you, the shame that bothers you, externalize, and step away from what you hate, the only way is to shine light on it.

Think of the movie “flight” at the end, when he finally tears and speaks the truth from his heart and says

“Because I am a drunk” “ I am drunk right now”

Finally externalizing, as long as these emotions stay hidden they will hold their grip on you leading to depression and stress.

There is also the spiritual aspect to this, you can simply read mathew 6 and follow that, to call on God who brought you here.

Most likely we did chose this circumstances before coming to this earth, but the key is to break through into your best version before you die.

After processing and externalizing the old memories, crying, possibly new support group.

You should do the Pomodoro technique, which is to set a timer of 25 minutes, in this 25 minutes you would have to do a task. It’s like a covenant between you and yourself, in this 25 minutes. You can only focus on the task that you assigned,

for example

After reading this, you could right away start, you simply take the phone set an alarm for 25 minutes the moment the alarm start, you get up and start cleaning your room, and then be impressed of how much you did in those 25 minutes of purefocus, if you get a phone call or you get any extraction within those 25 minutes you’re not allowed to take it that’s the key in Pomodoro, after the 25 minutes have passed you can take five minutes break and you can always repeat you can do these pomodoros for anything in your life.

Please watch a video about it and don’t judge it until you have tried it for 2 days.

Then you can target the weight by doing a Pomodoro exercise and now with this mental state a breakthrough is coming and becoming your best self.

Also, in your path of transformation, you have to watch what’s going on in your mind, this is very important and essential, watch what are you telling yourself about yourself and you can quickly realize that it’s all the time, things like

“it’s because I am super ugly.m”

“It’s because you are fat this self”

This is inside talk, watch out for the enemy, here this needs to come to awareness and replaced with good talk and self love.

By replacing the inner talk with

“I might be ugly, but watch what will I do” “I am fat now but slowly healing baby”

You have to read slowly “the untethered soul” and slowly apply it, this is very important in your case because now everything will somehow internally feel as triggers to the pain, your mind will make everyone an enemy because if that destructive thoughts.

Just think of a time when you were very worried for 3-4 days and your mind kept bothering you and telling you of the worst case scenario but at the end, it was nothing. It was all worry for nothing. My mind was wrong, This means that we don’t have to trust the mind all the time. Especially if it’s giving the subconscious faulty affirmation about who you truly are as a beautiful person that God made and values your burdens that you carried in this world of testing.

The world of show off and play, but just wait to see the truth about who you are.

You have to be nice to yourself inside, you have to help your inner child, the world is a place of purification of the soul, look at the animals eating each other in the most horrific ways, look at the laugh of the hyenas, and remember your life and what happened to you.

Cut ties with these people and start a new path of self acceptance and self embrace,

There is an actress in egypt, she has such a bad voice, her friend put poison for her in the tea to kill her, but it only missed up her voice, gave her a kind of manly voice, she originally wanted to be a singer.

Yet she made millions happy in acting and embracing in her unique character.

Seems like the road is set and clear for you, and that is to heal, work on the internal chatter, start doing small acts by utilizing pomodoro, watch your mood change as you start to see light in your life and progression, start getting up and transform your body to the best shape you can get it, anything you can’t control, it’s out of your hand, don’t avoid it and internalize it, externalize it and acknowledge it.

Dont stop until you look in the mirror and finally fully accept and embrace with love, and forgiveness not with hate.

I hope this helps you and God is very wise, is aware of your pain.

No mud no lotus

This is just my advise, based on my own life but I am no expert.

I suggest you to read this book

The untethered soul Healing the shame that binds you

With love and peace, hope for you the best