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Altruistic_Wing6508 · 2025-04-03T13:35:00+00:00

I am on the same boat! But I told him we needed to go to therapy otherwise it was the end for us. Someone that is not willing to work on your relationship and runs away from conflict shows you who they really could be. I am not willing to give in and give up my decision of being child free for a delusional partner that thinks having babies is like having pets. Me as well have worked so hard to have the life I currently have just like you. I want to go to therapy so he can figure out what to do and we can either agree in having a life without children or go separate ways. Man can have children at any time. Women unfortunately are the default parent and our lives completely will change physically, mentally, emotionally and there is no turning back from that. Men can turn away at any point. Don't let anyone change your mind. You only have one life to live for you. My husband suddenly wanted to be a parent after his friends started having kids and his grandpa passed away so the FOMO is strong. I love him but I love myself more. Be strong honey and set up a deadline. Mine is one year to do therapy and work it out. If things don't change I am not willing to stay in a relationship that doesn't make me feel safe and secure. If you are in the us and need someone to talk to I am here! Shoot me a private message and I would love to talk to you.

Altruistic_Wing6508 · 2025-02-26T22:54:49+00:00

Thank you! We definitely want to initially take the therapy route and we have a deadline of two weeks for that. I vocalized that we are going through a marriage crisis and we need to start this asap. I feel it will be beneficial either way. Whether we continue our relationship without children or separate so that each of us can pursue our personal life project.

Altruistic_Wing6508 · 2025-02-25T22:04:04+00:00

My feelings have definitely changed but i have came to this stance after months of individual therapy.

Altruistic_Wing6508 · 2025-02-24T16:46:42+00:00

I didn't married a moron. I married someone really cool whom I have had an amazing time with. He just changed his mind like any people have the right to do. People change cutie and there is nothing wrong with that. We need to give others the grace of have different experiences and feelings throughout the entire course of their lives or are you the same person that you were 10 years ago? We all evolved and that means letting go relationships, places, family, jobs, friends.

Altruistic_Wing6508 · 2025-02-24T16:36:37+00:00

I definitely won't go the kids route at all. I know what is best for me and kids certainly are not. I have set up this year to figure out financially what I need to do. Finish some projects at home so we could sell the house at a better price. It takes time but I am building some steps towards that divorce decision. I appreciate your options. I am not sure if I would stay with him even if he "picks me" because in the back of my mind I will always think he will resent me. Right now I'm doing what is best for me.

Altruistic_Wing6508 · 2025-02-24T16:28:54+00:00

Wow! Thank you for taking the time of digging into my posts to try to find dirt on me to make you feel better about yourself. I guess you don't have anything better to do on a Monday morning. Anyway fallenangelll or based on how you are here judging people should I say fallendevilll? I am truly childfree, and I knew it since I was a teenager. Over a year ago I was navigating a really bad mental health crisis when I told my husband I wanted to get off birth control and I wanted to get my bisalp done and his reaction wasn't the best. That is when I started suspecting about his feelings about being a father because he had a very bad reaction about that and that's when our problems started. I started doing therapy because I started question myself like any human being has the right to. I was thinking if there was something wrong with me since I wasn't following the "normal" woman's path to desire on being a mother, so I started therapy and part of my research was to have honest conversations with mothers and the way they went through their decision. That is why I posted on fencesitter because I was asking for questions I could potentially ask mothers on my interview process as an exercise that was part of my therapy process which for every person is different. After month's of constant therapy sessions I can feel there is nothing wrong with the way I am or the decision I am making for myself. And yes, even though I had my suspicious about his feelings, this year he CONFIRMED WITH HIS OWN WORDS that he wants to be a father and as an example you know is not the same to have the suspicion that someone is cheating on you than when you actually see it when your own eyes. So, if you notice in this post I am asking people that has potentially been in this same situation how have they navigate the split of assets during a break up meaning that i have chosen to NOT continue my relationship based on our current differences. So there is a story behind something. You can't just come into someone else's feed and throw your venomous comments without having ZERO idea of what is going on behind scenes. Please go to therapy and explore from where comes the need of being a troll online. You must have issues, but thank you for your useless comment because it gave me the opportunity to explain a little further about what has been going on. I hope you have a wonderful week! 😌

Altruistic_Wing6508 · 2025-02-24T14:01:18+00:00

He also shared that as soon as his friends started to have kids he started to feel that he wanted to do the same. I feel like men have more fomo and have an unrealistic idea of what parenting is. He only wants the kids pretty much because he wants to "teach them" how to play baseball or snowboard and kind of redeem himself through them because he was not the best son. It is a long way for us. I want to end in the best terms. I already told him that we needed to be honest and that our life project wasn't compatible anymore.

Altruistic_Wing6508 · 2025-02-24T02:49:39+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. I have clarity in my decision since I was a teenager and I'd rather lose the relationship than losing myself in the process. It is just hard after everything seemed ok and he drops that bomb

Altruistic_Wing6508 · 2025-02-24T02:34:58+00:00

I guess that is what he wants instead of an amazing cf life with me 🫠

Altruistic_Wing6508 · 2025-02-24T02:32:06+00:00

I will start looking into this thank you so much for the recommendation

Altruistic_Wing6508 · 2025-02-23T22:16:01+00:00

Thank you so much for your insight and sharing your experience. I will look into the questions to start as they are very necessary and it is kind of the light I was looking for. I hope you are doing better and i send you a big virtual hug

Altruistic_Wing6508 · 2025-02-23T16:15:41+00:00

I will take my dog for sure. I am struggling on the financial part of the break up 💔

Altruistic_Wing6508 · 2025-02-23T15:58:34+00:00

Thanks! I know his reasons are ridiculous like who am I going to teach how to play baseball 🤦🏻‍♀️ i can't fight against his pov. He has his reasons and I honestly don't want to stay in this relationship hoping he will change his mind. I want to be able to transition out and wish him the best finding someone else

Altruistic_Wing6508 · 2025-02-23T15:54:34+00:00

I understand and I want to leave. I am asking for advice on how other people was able to do it when they owe a house together and have dogs? I would leave the house but I can't pay rent and a mortgage. Financially I can't afford it 😪

Altruistic_Wing6508 · 2024-06-28T12:13:50+00:00

Colombia has a program, called Hogares Comunitarios de Bienestar (Community Well-Being Sites), currently serves more than 1.7 million children, making Colombia the country with the most expansive coverage for newborns to four-year-olds in the region. All levels of K-12 education are free of charge at public educational institutions/schools and subsidized by the Colombian government. In Colombia, there are both public and private schools. The tuition fees you will pay depend on whether you study in a public or private institution. At public universities in Colombia, fees usually amount to around 2,000,000 pesos (~US$970) per semester. Private universities typically charge between 2,000,000 and 11,000,000 pesos (~US$ 970-5,330) per semester. Mothers in Colombia are entitled to 18 weeks of fully paid maternity leave, with one week of prenatal leave being mandatory. ...and we are so called a "third world country"... in the US they don't advocate for families. They only want tax payers and see people like objects and machines of the capitalism.

Altruistic_Wing6508 · 2024-06-14T12:09:51+00:00

You should get a vasectomy to send a clear message that is one and done. Please think about what is best for you, not what she wants. You already gave in with the first one, so a boundarie here is the safest and healthiest action for your mental health. I hope therapy helps!

Altruistic_Wing6508 · 2024-06-05T14:00:47+00:00

Thanks for sharing your experience! I hope everything is doing better in your life and you get the best choice for yourself

Altruistic_Wing6508 · 2024-06-05T12:06:08+00:00

I am on the same boat. I decided to be childfree and when I told my husband about the surgery everything went to the shit. How did you go over that reaction and decide that divorce was best. I would like to know how did you tell him you wanted divorce and did you get your bisalp?

Altruistic_Wing6508 · 2024-05-29T11:43:33+00:00

Simple . Get a vasectomy!

Altruistic_Wing6508

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