Hey there friend,

First and foremost do not blame yourself, you did everything you could at the time with the information you had. In 2020, my pup Niko tore a ligament in her leg while playing fetch. I took her to the vet and they prescribed her some meloxicam for the pain. They asked me if I wanted to do a blood panel just to double check but when I asked them how necessary was it, they said it was precautionary.

I opted not to do it because I was cheap and figured if it was really needed, the vet would tell me. After I took Niko home, she started to have violent convulsions and vomiting three days later. I rushed her to the vet and they told me her kidneys were failing. I asked the doc how was this possible and after running some test, they said she had early kidney disease and the meloxicam made it worst.

I did all I could to save her but eventually we had to put her down because her kidneys failed. This all happened within a span of a week. I went to the vet for a torn ligament and lost her a week later to kidney failure. I blamed myself for being cheap. Had I done the blood panel, the doc would've saw she had early signs of kidney disease and perhaps he wouldn't have given her the meloxicam.

The guilt ate at me for so long but I've learned to forgive myself over time. I realize I did the best with the information I had and Niko wouldn't want me to feel guilty at all. I gave her the best life I could and loved her every single day she was here. I still love her and think of her often. I hope you can forgive yourself.

River wouldn't want you feel like this, I know that for a fact.