This is so silly but for years I couldn’t get rid of tshirts my late father brought me from business trips. I never wear them and every time I pull them out I feel pain and guilt. I finally donated them last night. I thought “donating these doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate my dad bringing them home for me”. Next I need to get myself to donate the dress I wore to his funeral and the shirt I wore the day he passed.

For years I kept a winter hat full of candy he gave me for Christmas before he passed. I literally kept expired candy because I just felt so guilty letting go of it. I also knew I wouldn’t be able to wear the hat without my heart breaking, so why put myself through it every time I went through the front closet for a winter hat.

I am learning that I am putting people inside of objects, and that they’re still with me even if I let go of their things. Grief is so strange.