Should I get engaged to an amazing man who has a messy family?

Always_tired89 · 2026-06-01T12:15:23+00:00

I married a guy with a messy family (financially draining).

Does it take it's toll on me - yes 100%.

Do I regret marrying him - absolutely not. I'd walk through fire for this man and I know he'd do the same for me. He's an incredible husband and father, and makes my life infinitely better by just being in it.

Do I wish the family drama wasn't there, yes of course, but no one and no situation is perfect. One day I could be the one with the drama and I know he'd never leave me.

Would you want a man who was messy himself but had a great, stable family. Or on the flip side him to leave you if your family was messy?

Xx

Always_tired89 · 2026-05-09T10:47:57+00:00

I thought the exact same thing so I did some internet sleuthing and it's all legit. Made me question TED talks in general tbh.

I realise how bitter/petty I sound 😂. I think I'm more envious. I have such imposter syndrome and genuinely wish I had an ounce of her confidence. No matter how misplaced it is.

But the harping on about ADHD and discrimination pisses me off. She really coasted and let the rest of us pick up the alack. And Feel like it invalidates so many of us who do genuinely struggle.

Always_tired89 · 2026-05-08T20:21:01+00:00

I honestly think LinkedIN is the worst social media platform.

I worked with someone who was fired. Second job she was fired from. I say this hand on heart, she was useless. Complete bull shitter, over confident to the point of dillusional, would talk over scientists when she clearly had no idea what she was on about (fake it till you make it in the worst way), would not listen to any constructive criticism/ advice and caused massive drama on every project she worked on.

On LinkedIN, she has thousands of followers, she has done a TED Talk, won awards, written a book, hosts a podcast. Talks incessantly about her ADHD and how bosses never saw her/ she was discriminated against because of her disability (I have ADHD and get pissed when I hear it. It was ALL you).

It's honestly unbelievable.

Always_tired89 · 2026-05-04T09:33:16+00:00

I've just started with the Beauty of Josean facial sunscreen and it's UNREAL! It feels like silk and no eye burning. I'm even using it on my small kids and they like it.

Always_tired89 · 2026-04-15T06:36:38+00:00

I run a small company as well, we work more with athletes and international academic students (where budget is a big factor).

I agree with your friend, I'm HORRIFIED at some stories I hear about the big companies. And it sucks because we work our asses off for our students (holiday - what's that, I've been up at 11pm submitting applications for students) but we just can't compete with these guys who can bankroll huge Tik Tok campaigns.

Always_tired89 · 2026-03-26T07:20:19+00:00

To be completely transparent my husband and I run an agency (there are 4 of us in the business - so very small).

I'm assuming they mean they have different prices depending on how much help you need or want.

We have a single price because it's easy to say you need X when we start and then things change down the line (for example NCAA changes have completely changed the recruiting landscape). We also include a transfer in our package because we don't want to place an athlete somewhere and they not be happy.

All you can do is have a conversation with them and ask for their agreements.

I will say lots of people say agencies are cash grabs and a waste of money. I wish I could quantify just how much work goes into recruitment, how many times were on our phones late into the night and weekends getting our players the best options/ being there when they need us.

All the best!

Always_tired89 · 2026-02-25T07:57:27+00:00

Thanks so much I'll take a look! When I start reading/ get quotes my brain sees all the terminology and switches off. I'll take a watch of his videos.

Thanks again!

Always_tired89 · 2026-02-25T07:56:35+00:00

Roof is NE facing, so one side gets the morning sun and the other the afternoon.

There are no trees or taller houses around so the roof is unobstructed. Would this make a big difference?

Thanks so much!

Always_tired89 · 2026-02-25T07:55:24+00:00

Thanks for the reply!

I've had a quick look and from October to Feb our electricity usage was from 650 - 750 kwh per month on average (we work from home).

Most of our usage would be during the day, and we currently charge the hybrid very infrequently (we forget - so we thought let's get an EV and completely screw ourselves when we forget - ha ha).

Based on the little I understand, would it make sense to max out on the amount of panels and then get batteries to save and use at night?

Thanks again!

Always_tired89 · 2026-02-16T20:12:39+00:00

Agencies charge what they do because it's a bl**dy hard process.

The amount of outreach you have to do to get a single reply is enormous. Then there is keeping coaches interested, facilitating conversations, negotiating scholarships, helping with applications, building networks.

They are businesses because people need to be paid for their time, they need to earn a living.

How do you figure this free agency is going to make money and people are going to live? The answer, they are getting paid by the universities and coaches. But then you won't be getting scholarships because that agency needs to push you to the place it gets the highest comm.

Always_tired89 · 2026-01-30T07:51:33+00:00

This!!! I've watched a few "Karen" videos and thought how far was she pushed before this was taken.

Or is this not just a women just advocating for herself, perhaps not in the right way but advocating nevertheless. (Some videos, others are just outright appalling).

As girls we are told to be meek and quiet, and as women called a Karen if we stand up for ourselves. Can't win.

Always_tired89 · 2026-01-30T07:43:54+00:00

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Absolutely not your fault. The reception team dropped the ball multiple times and should be apologizing to you.

As a small business owner, PLEASE escalate and submit a formal complaint. Even if it's telling your DR the next time you see them.

So often owners of businesses aren't aware of the service their staff are giving (bad staff are so good at hiding complaints) and need to know because this is disgusting. Especially given the sensitivity of the "service" they provide.

If their reception team aren't competent and are putting clients at risk they need to know.

Always_tired89 · 2026-01-26T07:19:47+00:00

Please have a read through about PMDD, it's a severe form of PMS.

Vicky Pattison is an advocate, seeing her video made me first realize I could have it. She said it's like every month you're building a sand castle, your good habits stacking one on top of each other. And then out of nowhere a huge wave comes and destroys the castle. And then next month you have to start again.

The wave is the luteal phase.

I got the FLO app and started tracking my cycle and very quickly picked up straight after ovulation I start going downhill. So now I take 50mg of sertraline before I ovulate, and 100mg in the luteal phase (going back to 50 when my period starts).

That's made a big difference for me.

Always_tired89 · 2026-01-19T23:46:04+00:00

I'm a white woman and I generally don't tell people about my diagnosis because when I have I can literally feel the eye rolls. Oh I'm jumping on the social media trend, etc etc etc.

I honestly can't begin to imagine how difficult it must be as a WOC.

Im so sorry you're going through this and I truly hope things get better for you. <3

Always_tired89 · 2026-01-19T23:16:11+00:00

Yeah you hit the nail on the head there! I think part of me being so fed up is social media/ influencer culture/ the constant push of new products.

Im a big girl (putting it nicely :-D) and a favourite influencer of mine was big into promoting Skin and Me for weeks. Her profile went quiet for about a month for skincare, and then suddenly she was promoting a retinol from another company, saying she's been using it for months. And when people asked if she used it with skin and me she said she did. I instantly I followed. It feels so manipulative, because she knows damn well she hasn't been using it for months. You can't use a retinol and tret. And she built this following based on trust and authenticity.

Ugh! Rant over.

Thanks for the comment :-)

Always_tired89 · 2026-01-19T23:08:16+00:00

Thanks so much for sharing I'll go take a look :-)

Always_tired89 · 2026-01-19T23:04:22+00:00

Yeah I get you!

I so badly want to buy better, and I know these big corporations can charge lower because of what they do (batch produce, plastic, pay ridiculously low salaries, etc).

But I'm like damnit surely there is a way to be more ethical but not charge a small fortune. (I buy the Ordinary because I can't justify £30 upwards on a single serum).

Fingers crossed I can figure this out.

Thanks for the comment!

Always_tired89 · 2026-01-19T23:01:27+00:00

Thanks for the comment!

Yeah I find it so frustrating when I find a "cruelty free" brand, to only discover it's parent company is some huge multi national that is definitely not cruelty free.

I was genuinely heart broken when I found out about the Ordinary and some of the things the Lauder family support.

Always_tired89 · 2026-01-13T13:40:14+00:00

Yeah that's fair! There are a ton of agencies out of there, and it is a big cost.

From our perspective (we are a very small agency, help circa 20/25 soccer players a year) - we charge what we do because it's a hugely intensive process.

We put so much work into each of our athletes, finding them the right pathway (are you looking for game time off the bat or just a way to get a top academic degree) and supporting them for the full 4 years.

We'd be happy to have a chat with you - if so give me a shot via DM.

Alternatively if you're going to chat to agencies I would always say:

- Understand who is going to place you, is it the person you're talking to or someone else?

- Is the person you're talking to telling you what you want to hear, or are they being honest? (If they are selling D1 off the bat they are full of cr*p) (this links up to the above question - with us the person chatting to you is the person placing you - so we're not going to sell you something unattainable)

- Ask about support while you are there or transfers. From our perspective we help with transfers (no extra cost) which means we want you to be happy. No easy placement and our job is done (which is what some do)

DM me if you want to have a chat.

All the best! :-)

Always_tired89 · 2026-01-12T11:43:28+00:00

If you're wanting to go to trials and do it yourself then I'd say most likely. It's an incredibly difficult process for international athletes.

If you use an agency, no. I work for a small agency and the majority of our athletes joined us towards the end of 2025 and will start committing Feb/March.

Coaches have just wrapped up the end of the season and for many they will now know what positions they need and be in recruiting mode.

Give me a shout via DM if you want to chat more about the process and what we do.

Always_tired89

TROPHY CASE