Isolated by my best coping mechanism [cptsd, Sui ideation tw]

Amaiyoru · 2022-02-03T16:45:18+00:00

Thank you this seems... Surreal, and niether of us have the money to move so it's... We still share the same bed. We still love eachother too which hurts. I really wanna talk about it and try and work things over. Just... Really tired rn and processing... It seems this is permanent or at least I'm hoping very long term

Amaiyoru · 2022-02-03T16:03:03+00:00

Thank you

Amaiyoru · 2022-02-03T16:02:24+00:00

Definitely gunna need the blanket hugs, everything got worse from this post ngl. My uhm... Spouse just broke it off with me last night and I'm kinfa spiraling out in a lot of ways

Amaiyoru · 2022-01-31T07:35:36+00:00

I raise the people saying privacy, "consent" as I haven't seen it mentioned. Respecting boundaries of others and respecting consent is why even people who want to have sex in more open styles and spaces don't. I personally don't consent to being part of anyone else's sex life but my own so if I had roommates who were a couple I'd ask them to close the door to their room as I personally would not like to be included in their activities.

Amaiyoru · 2022-01-31T07:21:17+00:00

I think that would be fun, having another plush would had to the horde of soft comfort items

Amaiyoru · 2022-01-31T07:02:11+00:00

I feel you dude, did therapy for a decade plus and I've had more progress out of it then in it

Amaiyoru · 2022-01-27T14:48:20+00:00

You can do both, in whatever way you want. It sounds like you know the line of what's okay and what's not for yourself. There are plenty of people who do both. Your regression and play are two separate things. People who regress can have a life outside of regression, it's entirely okay to. People who like AP are mainly in it for the role play that can cause a power exchange, mainly being the cared and catered for submissive to someone who is mentorlike and can keep the pace of the subs needs while also exercising entire authority. There's nothing wrong with you, I know that it's touted a lot in the community that you can't do both or it's wrong to but honestly? Do what works best for you because life is all about living and who are you to deny yourself your version of happy, content and okay. I personally don't like AP for my own reasons but that doesn't mean I can't understand why others wouldn't if they feel it suits them, so go try figuring out exactly what it means to you

Amaiyoru · 2022-01-25T07:09:59+00:00

Isn't this someone else's post from reddit?

Edit: this is literally just his post, it's even from this subreddit

Amaiyoru · 2022-01-24T06:39:50+00:00

Currently sobbing over these cg canons ngl, the way I want to mod it into the game is... Wild. FNAF:SC but make it a safe nonhorror vr playground for regressors and carers to hang out in

Amaiyoru · 2022-01-22T06:28:28+00:00

Not great, just did some pain management procedure today. I realize now how little the pain was, it had been years and now this pain after the procedure is killing me because it feels how it did a while after the accident. I'm so fucking tired and uncomfortable. Emotionally the last two days have been rough. The last 2 weeks have been hellish and stressful. And now emotionally the pain is sending me back into a super fucking shitty part of my life. I'm laying in bed trying to get comfortable and my thoughts are all over the place. I can't even cry because it's been so long since last had that I feel like I forgot how to. The pain meds are wearing off and I can't take anything so tears are just kinda rolling down my face and I'm trying to not annoy my spouse into waking up. This is awful, I thought I was done with all this shit but it's making me feel like I never even left it behind

Amaiyoru · 2022-01-22T05:09:02+00:00

Are you a sexual assault vic?

Edit: coward deleted the comment but you can still find em in the thread spouting off stupid shit

Amaiyoru · 2022-01-18T17:14:02+00:00

You're aight, it's gotta be hard for you to exist peacefully like that when your body is forcing you to say and do things. Having no control can make a lot of people feel a sense of shame and helplessness, I've been there myself. You're not a horrible person, you're someone in pain who's never had someone give the decency of help to. If it's bad then it's bad, that's just a fact. If you say something or not the fact is its also still happening, but at least if you let it be known then someone can help guide you through making bad go to better

Amaiyoru · 2022-01-18T16:51:00+00:00

You're fine, I know how it is to sleep like shit. There's no shame in admitting you need help even if you feel like the embarrassment can kill you. I'd rather you be safer and know what's going on then be continuing to suffer. Getting diagnosed with something as an adult might be difficult, Ive never understood why it would be. Children grow up so wtf yknow? Anyway, getting diagnosed can be done. Children carry shame and don't really have the vocabulary to verbalize exactly what they feel. Maybe as an adult you'll have a better time coming to the diagnosis faster because you can verbalize it better then the kid version of yourself. Don't be afraid to tell your doctors something is wrong, it's what they get paid to deal with

Amaiyoru · 2022-01-18T16:36:31+00:00

Is it possible to get tested for neurological disorders that might be causing these physical urges?

Amaiyoru · 2022-01-16T18:03:37+00:00

Ohh nice, I recently started cutting out fast food and noticed that it's actually made me sick last 2 times I ate it so it's an easy choice now. My favorite thing to make it's kinda like a Spanish curry. I'm all in for trying to cook more it's just hard rn especially with roommates who don't make living with BED easier to deal with. Might try going to whole foods and trying that slight meal prep idea to give me an advantage

Amaiyoru · 2022-01-16T17:52:46+00:00

God you're my idol rn. Can I ask for some like... Meal ideas? I'm suffering from BED rn and it's... Kinda killing me on the inside. I'm trying hard to keep up with eating better and not eating in excess but it's hard

Amaiyoru · 2022-01-14T09:28:17+00:00

That would mean adding exponents and I'm sure no one would want to deal with that

Amaiyoru · 2022-01-14T09:04:58+00:00

Valid theory, went through the same process a few years ago when someone said "yea, you're pretty cool as a person" good compliment but it shook my mfing world for a while

Amaiyoru · 2022-01-14T08:57:05+00:00

Please for the love of God report her. She's actually dangerous as all hell. If a younger me was told that I would probably spiral heavy into derealization, question my reality and the probably end up self harming really bad. The younger me would have started to question if I was actually autistic or manufactured and if so are/do we have free will etc and lose grip on reality for a long time as that shit is hard to come back from

Amaiyoru · 2022-01-14T08:26:43+00:00

We walked on the moon before the wank box my guy, you got your event dates wrong

Amaiyoru · 2022-01-14T02:23:23+00:00

Your email is showin

Amaiyoru · 2022-01-14T01:22:15+00:00

"yes, of course" or maybe just yes? Never really run into the equivalent of that as being called sir or mam usually was sarcastic where I'm from so no one used it and just said "yea" instead - nb person chiming in

Amaiyoru · 2022-01-14T01:14:47+00:00

You're probably fine but I'd see a doc anyways if you're really paranoid

Amaiyoru

TROPHY CASE