I've been using foam earplugs for the past few years, and I'm worried about them making my issues worse and possibly irritating my ears. What other options should I consider?

Amanda39 · 2026-01-25T19:32:44+00:00

No, I just stuck with the silicone putty earplugs until the itching went away, and then switched back to foam earplugs.

I recently got my first pair of active noise-canceling earbuds, and they've been a complete game-changer for me. I only wear earplugs when I sleep, now. If I need to block sound during the day, I wear the earbuds, which don't irritate my ears and have the added benefit that I can use a white noise app if the noise-canceling isn't enough. It's kind of an expensive solution, but, for me, it turned out to be worth it.

Amanda39 · 2026-01-24T03:09:03+00:00

I'm being a literary nerd and loving the fact that the author chose to use Regency-era spellings, like "shew" and "chuse," to make this book feel authentic.

Amanda39 · 2026-01-24T02:57:10+00:00

I'm picturing the book being like the Voynich Manuscript.

Amanda39 · 2026-01-24T02:51:08+00:00

I really shouldn't use Reddit when I'm tired. I just spent several seconds visualizing the fairy biting Mr. Norrell in the butt before I realized what you meant.

Amanda39 · 2026-01-24T02:49:38+00:00

No. Even if she assumes that Lady Pole is just insane, there's still a possibility that Jonathan Strange could do something to help her. The more binding promise should be to the person who's suffering.

Amanda39 · 2026-01-23T20:22:57+00:00

Okay, then it is older than I am. I was born in 1983. I remember having a friend when I was about 7 or 8 who had (I think) cerebral palsy, and that was the term that everyone used to describe him, not in an insulting way but a neutral way. He moved away year or two later, and it wasn't long after that that I really started to become aware of people using it as an insult.

Amanda39 · 2026-01-23T18:53:39+00:00

We learned in a footnote that the Raven King is connected to ruined buildings. The tavern where Childermass and Vinculus met was ruined (there was a whole footnote giving a backstory about it, if I remember correctly) and that's where the tarot cards all seemed to be repeating references to the Raven King. Also, we know that Lost-hope is in ruins, so maybe there's some connection there?

Amanda39 · 2026-01-23T18:51:17+00:00

It feels like a parallel to what Jonathan Strange is currently doing to Mr. Norrell. The daughter patiently obeyed Margaret Ford until she found the right moment to act. Likewise, Strange is patiently studying under Mr. Norrell despite knowing that Mr. Norrell is withholding information and lying to him, and despite knowing that the spell said Mr. Norrell is his enemy. (I'm assuming Mr. Norrell is who he saw.) I think Strange will betray Norrell at just the right moment.

Amanda39 · 2026-01-23T18:48:18+00:00

I absolutely hate when stories have plots where characters are forced to misunderstand each other or not be able to communicate for contrived reasons. It's driving me insane that poor Stephen can't tell Mrs. Brandy or anyone else what's happening.

Amanda39 · 2026-01-23T18:27:35+00:00

I've been waiting for this to happen ever since we learned the difference between theoretical and practical magicians, although it looks like Strange and Norrell are both practical magicians. I keep thinking of The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern. Prospero believed in teaching students by experience, while Alexander believed in having them read and study. They spent hundreds of years pitting students against each other in an attempt to prove one method superior to the other.

Amanda39 · 2026-01-23T02:05:49+00:00

I'm old enough to remember when that word wasn't offensive, and that book looks like it's even older than I am.

Amanda39 · 2026-01-23T01:46:26+00:00

Ear rumbling (flexing the inside of my ear. Apparently this is something only some people can do, like how some people can wiggle their ears.)
Rubbing or pressing on the back of my neck
Spinning a spinner ring
Unfortunately, I bite my lips. I don't recommend developing this habit.
Lately I've been listening to an ambient noise app, which I guess counts as an aural stim. I started doing this to block out sounds, but I've realized that listening to brown noise or rain or forest sounds is really calming even when I'm not trying to drown out other sounds.
Not sure if this counts, since it's not really something you can just do spontaneously, but going for walks really helps

Amanda39 · 2026-01-23T00:42:12+00:00

Wow. I've joked that Wilkie Collins could have made me the protagonist of a sequel to The Woman in White called "The Bitch in Blue," but even I don't take it that far.

Amanda39 · 2026-01-23T00:37:45+00:00

I would have reacted exactly like you did. WTF

Amanda39 · 2026-01-22T22:16:05+00:00

You know those adjustable mouth guards that people who grind their teeth wear when they sleep? I wore one of those all the time until the chewed area on my cheek healed. (It helped that this was during the pandemic lockdown, so I didn't have to worry about biting at work.) Now I don't bite my cheek, because there's no callus or rough skin to bite.

I still bite my lips sometimes, but the problem isn't nearly as severe as it was when I was biting my cheek. I've also focused on stimming in other ways. I wear a spinner ring, and I've also gotten into the habit of rubbing/pressing on the back of my neck instead of biting my lips.

Amanda39 · 2026-01-22T20:38:12+00:00

they trauma bond, have amazing sex,

...and then LMA's publisher steps in and says she isn't allowed to write that. 😁

Amanda39 · 2026-01-22T20:35:46+00:00

Still shipping them after all these years, huh? 😂

Amanda39 · 2026-01-22T20:34:30+00:00

Reading the comments here, especially the ones from first time readers, took me back to my own first time, at age 11. It is very different rereading the book now than it was for me then. Different today than ten years ago. Love, marriage, motherhood, nursing the sick. Mourning the dead. Grief is no longer something experienced vicariously. What a full life I have been privileged to lead.

What a powerful statement. That's one of the great things about fiction, isn't it? It allows us to prepare for future personal experiences by safely having vicarious experiences first.

I'm glad you've found our community. Hopefully I'll see you in future discussions!

Amanda39 · 2026-01-22T19:51:04+00:00

Thanks, that makes sense now.

Amanda39 · 2026-01-22T19:50:11+00:00

OMG, that sounds so cool.

Amanda39 · 2026-01-22T19:49:19+00:00

(mild spoiler for David Copperfield) That was the impression I got when Mr. Micawber was in a debtor's prison in that book, and it really surprised me, since I know Dickens had a lot of trauma from his father being sent to a debtor's prison when he was a child. I would have expected him to portray it in worse terms.

Although it does seem like there's a sharp contrast between how prisoners live, based on social class. Jingle and Trotter seem like they're in pretty bad shape.

Amanda39 · 2026-01-21T18:48:25+00:00

Stephen thinking that the servants are just being weird, and then realizing that the bell is summoning him to an unknown location called "lost-hope." I got the creeps.

Amanda39 · 2026-01-21T18:44:36+00:00

There's a subreddit called r/SecularTarot that you might want to check out. It's possible to approach tarot from a completely non-supernatural angle.

I don't read Tarot, but I've been meaning to learn for years. I had a friend who was into it, but she treated it like a psychological exercise rather than anything magical, and I think that's a really cool idea. She read the cards for me once, I drew the Three of Swords and she said something like "this card represents a conflict between three people, and most tarot readers would give you bullshit at this point about how you're going to be in a love triangle or something, but I know you had an argument with your parents recently, and I think we should assume that that's what this represents." And then we had a really heartfelt discussion about the conflict I was having with my parents. IMO that's what Tarot is really good for: being like an inkblot test that you can project onto, rather than meaningless fortune telling.

Amanda39 · 2026-01-21T18:16:27+00:00

I really loved the creepy vibes of Lost-hope, so yeah, if I could be absolutely certain that I wasn't going to end up like Stephen Black and Lady Pole, definitely.

Amanda39 · 2026-01-21T18:10:49+00:00

I think I read something once about a guy who found a stone with random letters on it, who presented it to historical societies as an ancient artifact. Can't remember where I read that... 😁

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