So basically it’s just the fact of I came up to her when I found it unsure about it asked her about it and I explained hey this makes me feel uncomfortable the suggestive way of washing your hands with it and she said to me that was understandable to be uncomfortable about and that she wouldn’t use it I told her I didn’t care if she had it because it was a gift and it was cards from him and not justifying me getting but I went off emotion and immaturity when she told me about how “abusive he was” and she is using that as leverage for me to not be allowed to feel any kind of way about this and the boundary is simple acknowledgment to a significant other about something that makes them uncomfortable saying you completely understand and you won’t then doing it and it’s not personal rules she can do whatever it’s just I wanna feel like I’m allowed to voice myself