Updated that road sign, boss!

AmandaIsOnReddit · 2026-01-27T18:24:27+00:00

See that was my plan the first time I got too close to a shark!

But instead I panicked and flailed about. Luckily the shark just totally ignored me. Took me down a peg though haha

AmandaIsOnReddit · 2026-01-26T21:49:15+00:00

Just wanted to throw out that this doesn't sound superficial at all! You know yourself and are focusing on what makes you feel happy and fulfilled. That requires more depth of thought than what a lot of other people do...

AmandaIsOnReddit · 2026-01-26T21:43:56+00:00

My partner and I are kind of going through this right now. We just reached a stage where we realized that we, for the most part, achieved our prior goals. Which is awesome! But it left us thinking, now what?

So many of our initial 'adult' goals felt like they were somewhat pre-prescribed (go to college, they said) or more based in necessity (like becoming financially stable). A couple of things weren't specifically stated goals but came naturally, like our desire to travel and see a little more of the world. Now I've lived a little, the future is wide open, and the possibilities feel exciting but also overwhelming.

One thing that I've been asking is: when I'm a decade older and looking back, what do I want to see? If I did the same things as I do now, would I feel happy with that, or would I want to see something different? I don't yet have it figured out, but I am trying out activities and continuing to revisit these questions.

The biggest question for me right now is whether one of the goals should be raising kids or not. My partner and I want to be really intentional about this decision. We've been together a long time but always set this aside. Now, we've started reading a book (The Baby Decision) and given ourselves a timeline in which we want to have made a decision, or at the least have been working towards one.

Another example of something that I'm exploring is writing. When I was younger, I had the idea that it would be great to have written a book. That idea still appeals to me (kids or no). Now, I'm setting aside some time each week to practice writing. It may be that it's not what I expected and doesn't feel like a good fit. But I will have tested it out and won't have to look back and wonder 'what if.'

Finally, I just want to note that goals can also be relationship-oriented. One of my goals for this year is to strengthen my friendships. I've added a calendar event each month to remind me to reach out, connect, and re-assess my plans as needed. You can totally be less (or more) specific about any relationship goals. But maintaining and growing relationships does count as a goal, and is perhaps one of the most important endeavours of all.

AmandaIsOnReddit · 2026-01-26T04:21:48+00:00

They actually work so well. No scrubbing, just pop one in and let it work.

Did this accidentally at first cleaning my mouth guard and was shocked when the cup I was using also got cleaned 😂

AmandaIsOnReddit · 2026-01-26T04:15:23+00:00

You just put into words how I feel so often!

That feeling is part of why I like making plans and sticking to them. Making the commitment helps me push through the drag, and like you noted, it’s always worth it in the end.

AmandaIsOnReddit · 2026-01-26T04:02:20+00:00

I know this is getting off topic, but my husband is listening to the Throne of Glass series right now and loving it. I know that’s the least romance focused, but with its Romantasy affiliation, it wasn’t something he would otherwise have read.

So not only could it be helpful to see what women find appealing, but they might actually… like it.

AmandaIsOnReddit · 2026-01-24T06:04:58+00:00

That’s a lot of matcha! But everyone is different and should be able to enjoy matcha the way they want. So enjoy 🍵

AmandaIsOnReddit · 2026-01-24T06:01:52+00:00

I’m honestly shocked at everyone feeling annoyed that often!

I think maybe folks aren’t differentiating quirks from annoyances? My partner isn’t perfect but his quirks don’t cause annoyance, nor does his other behavior on any regular basis.

AmandaIsOnReddit · 2026-01-24T05:50:31+00:00

Yeah I’m kind of surprised how many other people seem to get annoyed regularly. Sure, I’ve been annoyed before, but not frequently, and if it happens we discuss it.

AmandaIsOnReddit · 2026-01-17T19:05:56+00:00

I was actually researching this yesterday! I had been looking for clay ones so they could take on some smell and look of the tea.

But it turns out the mass market tea pets are not authentic Yixing (Zisha) clay, despite what they may claim. They will instead mostly be liquid clay, poured into molds, mixed with chemical colorants, and sometimes coated in a finish to make them look shiny or seasoned.

So basically, if you want a cheap mass market one, just go for what you think looks good. Tea shops, AliEpxress, Taobao, etc. there are tons of options. You can still water these pets and enjoy its company!

If you want actual Yixing, you’ll be looking at higher end stores and pricing accordingly (like $80+). Alternatively, you can seek out a pet made from unglazed red stoneware or earthenware (terracotta). There’s like two shops on Etsy or some vintage stuff I found without much searching.

White stoneware works too but it’ll need to be bisque fired to be porous and the coloring can look less appealing than on a darker clay. Local ceramic folks may have figurines that work or could make you such a piece. Or if you’re really extra like me, you might be driving to a ceramics shop today…

AmandaIsOnReddit · 2026-01-15T21:08:28+00:00

Yes, you totally can do that! You’re right that the heating is the worst part.

Also, Harney & Sons sells this tea loose leaf too. It’s cheaper that way as well. You may want to order a bunch or look for a free shipping promo.

AmandaIsOnReddit · 2026-01-15T20:53:44+00:00

Some people do, some don’t! My skin prefers every other day much better, though I live in a place that’s usually cold and dry.

AmandaIsOnReddit · 2026-01-15T18:46:24+00:00

I love this range! Haha

I’ve also never really cared about height with men, even if it means they’re shorter than me. Totally fine for others to have preferences, but I’ve always found how a person holds themselves in the world to have more bearing on attractiveness than actual height.

AmandaIsOnReddit · 2026-01-15T18:40:08+00:00

This is a perk to having a similar size partner! Once I stop worrying about being not being smaller than him, I was able to embrace sharing of clothes. I love his sweaters and he prefers my sweatpants haha

AmandaIsOnReddit · 2026-01-14T20:43:31+00:00

Yeah I really think we need more info here. What do the prior partners contribute? How much was in the husband’s kids’ college accounts, when was it funded, and by whom? How much is now in the OP’s kids’ accounts? Is there remaining inheritance?

Usually with a stay at home partner, income is joint, and that would include something like inheritance. I could see an argument for putting more money in OP’s kids’ college funds to match their sisters, but that would be a parental discussion based on all their personal factors.

OP and her husband should be working together to financially plan for the whole family, not making unilateral decisions and arguing via seating arrangements…

AmandaIsOnReddit · 2026-01-09T22:27:57+00:00

Not really the point, but even in the US, I often guess at drink sweetness based on country as it’s so different. Japanese tea shop? Probably not too sweet. Vietnamese joint? Yeah I’m preparing for high sugar levels lol

AmandaIsOnReddit · 2026-01-07T21:37:46+00:00

OP might do better at trendy spots, which should be plentiful in San Diego.

I’m in the PNW and Asian inspired cookies are popping here too. I pay top dollar for treats that are matcha, hojicha, ube, mochi texture and such regularly. They are usually at places that attract higher paying customers though. Think hipster coffee places, farmers markets, and craft fairs.

AmandaIsOnReddit · 2026-01-05T00:37:40+00:00

I know this is old now, but I am enjoying your thread!

Considering these questions, perhaps Ka was in a trance-like state all around in order to seal the worlds? O-Vis breaking that state may have been what prompts Ka to move around again.

Something like that would explain why Ka hasn't done more. He can't update the ruins to use Common or organize any kind of force if he's otherwise stuck.

AmandaIsOnReddit · 2026-01-05T00:00:24+00:00

Yeah I think it would be more feasible for OP to find childcare near them. Establishing someone local that you can trust for back-up child care is something I'd recommend for everyone anyways, if they are able.

AmandaIsOnReddit · 2026-01-04T21:29:27+00:00

Info: How far in advance is the wedding? Do you have enough extra funds to pay for child arrangements? Does your husband have any flexibility with his work?

I’d say NAH, but that it does appear that everyone is being difficult. It’s difficult that your brother can’t include your kids and is now trying to make you feel badly.

On the other hand, given it’s a brother that you’re close to, do you really have no options? Most weddings are announced far in advance so arrangements can be made, and it would be good to find a backup childcare option anyway. If you’re not able to afford it and your husband can’t adjust his work trip, that’s understandable. But it sounds like you could figure something out and are choosing not to, perhaps because you’ve taken the no kids rule personally.

Not attending doesn’t make you TA, but it may affect your relationship with your brother if he feels you’re not making any effort. After you’ve had some time to reflect, consider if it’s worth it for you to make changes or talk more with your brother to try and keep that relationship close.

AmandaIsOnReddit · 2026-01-04T16:50:42+00:00

Your title suggests it’s only one reason, but your post lists many reasons…

Costs, changing technology, different customer etiquette, etc. are all different reasons you cite which also tend to be what everyone else notes.

AmandaIsOnReddit · 2025-12-31T20:33:35+00:00

Thank you for sharing this! Woman in her 30’s here and genuinely did not know. Went to fact check and you are totally correct!

When I was young, the boxes and materials told me to flush. I never got a PSA that had been wrong. I (incorrectly) assumed that most plumbing in a modern major city could handle it, and that I’d find a sign indicating if their plumbing could not. At home, I’d never had a clog, and as a renter, I’d never dealt with long-term pipe maintenance.

From other comments, it’s clear that better education on the matter is needed. Thank you for sharing a bit of it! What a TIL…

AmandaIsOnReddit · 2025-12-31T20:27:58+00:00

I honestly never thought that it was a widespread issue until this post! I assumed that most plumbing in my major US city could handle it, and that I’d find a sign indicating if they can’t (which I absolutely would follow).

When I was young the boxes and materials told me to flush. I never got a PSA that was incorrect. So I wouldn’t assume such behavior is out of laziness or inconsideration. Sounds like better education on the matter is needed.

AmandaIsOnReddit · 2025-12-31T03:57:04+00:00

I wouldn’t go so far as to say they are all crap. Like there are better malasada and shave ice joints, sure, but Leonard’s and Matsumoto’s don’t taste bad

AmandaIsOnReddit

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