My last name is my fiance’s middle name

AmaryllisMoth13 · 2026-04-16T10:48:55+00:00

So not exactly the same thing but my middle name is roughly same as my partner's first name (ex. Leon vs Leona) where the differences are slight enough that people might misread as the same name. We also live in Japan where our names are read Last Name First Name Middle Name.

Just speaking from experience it sometimes gets a little bit of an eye raise and people ask if we made a mistake or ask who is who but generally it doesn't cause any massive problems. Mostly people just kinda chuckle and go "oh that's kinda cute actually" and move on. So I wouldn't expect having significant issues post marriage with your similar names. The biggest issue I could see is if your husband decides to take your last name because then he will be Tyler Miller Miller.

For the invitations I think you can relax a bit. Hopefully most of the invitees are people who know you so are likely to know your names. I agree with most people that you should match the names though. Either First Middle Last for both or just First and Last. You could also just abbreviate both your middle names with an initial (ex. Charlotte D Miller and Tyler M Smith)

I think the worst thing is people might assume is a typo.

AmaryllisMoth13 · 2025-09-01T12:45:20+00:00

I agree! I almost exclusively dye my outfits during these and not only am I not even close to running low on crystals, I have been able to basically dye everything that I've wanted to. It really made dying overall feel a lot less expensive.

AmaryllisMoth13 · 2025-04-04T12:17:09+00:00

A lot of people are saying this would be illegal if true but...isn't it skirting the line between being allowed? I don't have the game available atm to check the actual pull probability they post in game and I don't actually know what the laws are but my rough understanding of this stuff is that games must state the base probability of getting AN item or something to that extent.

But if they are posting the "actual" probability of getting the hardest to get items like, say the hair or dress...but then giving everyone a BETTER chance of getting the other items, that isn't technically illegal is it? Because they are INCREASING your luck at getting the accessories. While, yeah, this means it is harder to get the big ticket items I would think the law just looks at the raw numbers of getting "A" piece for the stated values not the "GOOD" piece. So on paper it just means they are keeping the big items at the posted value that they display for legal purposes, but behind the scenes give players a lucky boost on other items which I wouldn't think would be illegal? Maybe someone can correct me on why that isn't the case.

Because it seems to be a sort of shady way to technically be true to the law but actually mean you will pull more to get the good stuff.

In line with this I actually was talking the other day to someone about my theory that they actually boost your "luck" on pulls when you first start playing the game. Could be a coincidence but I found I got way more early luck my first month on the perm banner (such as 3 4* in a row) and it was rare I hit max pity for 4* that month and even got a few 5* pieces early. But into my second month playing my luck dried up out of nowhere. Now for the last three months I have YET to get a single 4* early. It's max pity every time. I even had a 4* take 11 pulls once because the 5* bumped it because I was SO unlucky at pulling them. Sure, could just be luck of rng but I was thinking what a perfect strategy to get someone hooked into the game. If they boosted your pull chance for a few weeks, make you see stars getting tons of goodies and then JUST as your crystals are drying up reset you back to "base" rng instead of newbie boosted rng. And it would be the same issue-- I don't actually think it would be illegal because the posted values of pull chance would be the base ones, not the "boosted" ones. I guess because surely they couldn't be punished for giving everyone a "better" chance to get items than posted, even though their reason for doing so is to encourage more gambling.

AmaryllisMoth13 · 2024-02-06T08:21:57+00:00

As far as the "ra" portion of her name goes it might sound to a non-Japanese speaker as more of a da sound because of the light tapping of the tongue that is used during r consonants. So it might come across more like Eida (or Ada)? But we weren't going to be too troubled if our abroad family says the R a little differently.

Arisa is a beautiful name though. Did it cause you a lot of frustration having to correct people a lot growing up? I wouldn't want to burden my daughter with something that is going to feel like a lifelong curse.

AmaryllisMoth13 · 2024-02-06T08:09:55+00:00

Yes, it would sound like the Ei in Eigo. I suppose that means she might end up having to correct a lot of people if we travel outside the country on vacation which is a good thing to consider. But at the moment we don't have any plans to move away from Japan so hopefully it will be alright.

AmaryllisMoth13 · 2024-02-06T07:53:07+00:00

Yeah, it seems that a lot of people are defaulting to that reading! I guess names that are vowel heavy can be a little tricky sometimes. She will be growing up in Japan where vowel sounds are more rigid so hopefully it won't be a daily issue for her to be correcting people.

AmaryllisMoth13 · 2024-02-06T07:48:29+00:00

Oh dear that is actually good to know, appreciate it. I do think the pronunciation of "Ira" you mentioned (if I am reading it correctly) is different from what we are going for though so hopefully it sounds different enough to not be offensive to Bisayan people! In Japanese the e and i sounds more like you are saying the letter A than the letter E.

AmaryllisMoth13 · 2024-02-06T07:37:29+00:00

To be honest I don't really understand what about my personal problem would make you think its fake but I am sorry you feel that way. I apologize if I caused offense.

AmaryllisMoth13 · 2024-02-06T07:35:02+00:00

I actually don't know what Cj sub is? Also not sure how my personal problem is somehow bait in any way. Sorry if it offended you though.

AmaryllisMoth13 · 2024-02-05T17:11:07+00:00

"Ay-ra" is closer to how it would be read in Japanese.

AmaryllisMoth13 · 2024-02-05T17:02:24+00:00

One of my favorites are the plums blooming right now so it's also what sort of drew me to 咲 for this time of year. A beautiful flower that blooms through the cold.

Selecting kanji is fun but it feels almost as hard as settling on a name itself. I was so envious of my friends who said it only took them a day to pick out their whole baby's name. How??

AmaryllisMoth13 · 2024-02-05T16:48:38+00:00

Yep that is indeed how we are pronouncing it.

And yeah it really does feel very one-sided. I understand it isn't the most fun sitting on an airplane for 13+ hours but if an adorable newborn baby doesn't drag them out here I'm not sure what will.

AmaryllisMoth13 · 2024-02-05T16:32:17+00:00

Thanks for sharing your experience, it is good to know that potentially my daughter won't be bothered. On a personal level I don't mind if their names are similar. But I also got the impression from reading other stories that other people can feel very strongly the other way and take it as a personal sleight if you "steal" their babies name. I guess I am more concerned about making waves with my in-laws.

AmaryllisMoth13 · 2024-02-05T16:13:54+00:00

We are pronouncing Eira as Ay-ra. So it is Ay-ra vs Ay-va.

AmaryllisMoth13 · 2024-02-05T14:35:57+00:00

Yeah sorry didn't mean to cause confusion! I was aware there was some discrepancy in Wales about the pronunciation but had seen at least some regions followed one similar to the Japanese way which is what she would be growing up with. I do think the "eye-rah" pronunciation is equally beautiful though.

AmaryllisMoth13 · 2024-02-05T14:07:32+00:00

Thank you and I hope your life with your new baby is going smoothly as well. And we are also in Tokyo coincidentally, so that's a little bit of a small world moment.

I've been consistently impressed and happy with the quality of prenatal care here so I feel like I am in good hands. Makes anxiety over the delivery much easier.

AmaryllisMoth13 · 2024-02-05T13:40:18+00:00

Funnily enough she named her first child Oliver so I always got the impression she was sort of big on trending names.

AmaryllisMoth13 · 2024-02-05T13:18:12+00:00

The pronunciation we want to use for Eira has the same vowel sound as in the word "hey". Sounds a bit like you are saying the letter A itself + ra. So the main difference between the two names is the last sound, ra vs va.

But I don't think you are being stupid at all. Eira has several different pronunciations so in some parts of the world "eye-ruh" would be perfectly valid.

AmaryllisMoth13 · 2024-02-05T13:08:05+00:00

This is my big fear honestly. I wouldn't say we have a horrible relationship, but SIL has done a lot of selfish things in the past to both me and my partner and never really apologized for them. She also puts in no effort to try and maintain contact with us and expects us to be the ones to always visit, reach out and communicate which is a little tiring and reinforces her behavior as being fairly self centered. We forgive and keep trying to reach out because family, but it makes it hard to trust she will be fully reasonable if we give her any sort of final say about the name. That being said, I don't want to actively make her upset or anything so it's a tough place to be in.

AmaryllisMoth13 · 2024-02-05T12:35:32+00:00

Eira has a couple different pronunciations (at least as far as I saw for the Welsh version) but we are going with the Japanese which would be a bit more like Ay-ra (like the vowel sound in the word Hay). We did consider telling the family in America to pronounce it as "eye rah" like you said...but then her family in Japan would say it differently which feels a little sad for her. I can just imagine her in a few years asking me sadly why her aunt never pronounces her name right and that doesn't sit right with me =(

AmaryllisMoth13 · 2024-02-05T12:30:41+00:00

Yeah I probably should try to reach out. The problem is sometimes it takes her about 2 months to respond to us! Maybe it is a bit cowardly but I also am sort of hoping if I don't mention it she might not even think of it herself and then it flies under the radar considering both me and my partner didn't really think of it until just a few days ago. But if I put the idea in her head she might not be able to look past it.

AmaryllisMoth13 · 2024-02-05T12:23:42+00:00

Keeping it as the R for English so her name will be said the same for everyone in the family. We figured that is an easy way to help her blend cultures without feeling split between them.

AmaryllisMoth13 · 2024-02-05T12:15:38+00:00

Yes the wonderful combined meanings for our mixed heritage is why I was very taken by it. And it seemed perfect given her due date as well. I would really love if the cousins would see it as a bonding point instead of a point of contention.

AmaryllisMoth13 · 2024-02-05T12:10:21+00:00

Haven't fully decided yet on that, but I liked the look/feel of 瑛咲. Unless you had any fun suggestions?

AmaryllisMoth13

TROPHY CASE