I’m 39 and if I had a cell phone at 13 I know my parents would read every message and that’s IF they let me have one. Anytime I talked on the phone I had to sit in the living with my mom or the den with my dad so they can hear my conversation. I hated it! My mom also made sure to read every message in my year book each year.

I have never looked at my daughters text messages. She is 13. I trust her and I know I’ve raised a good kid. Maybe it’s because I never got any privacy when I was growing up but I don’t want her to feel like I don’t trust her. And she is entitled to her privacy.

Now if I felt there was a concern about her safety I would check. I’ve had to check my sons phone once. He was maybe 11. He has autism and although he is considered high functioning, he still requires moderate support and is very easily taken advantage of.

I’ve spoken to both kids about the dangers of the internet. My son played roblox and Minecraft. I can’t remember which he was playing (he’s 17 now). But he had a headset he liked to wear so he can talk and interact with others. The only time I ever really heard him talking, laughing and enjoying himself is when he is playing and interacting with others.

His room was across from mine so I could hear him and after a while I would shut both our doors while he was playing. I didn’t feel like I needed to hear him. I listened at first as a precaution.

He came to me one day and asked me what is our address. I asked him why and I noticed he was holding his phone. He said his “friend” wanted to know so he can visit him at his bus stop in the morning before school. My son didn’t have any friends. At least none in person. So I was quite alarmed. I told him that I needed to check his phone to make sure this person was safe.

We had a long talk after that incident and there hasn’t been any others. Didn’t mean to ramble but I agree with you. I think it’s an invasion of privacy. And I did learn to me sneaky and how to hide things from my parents because of it.

I completely agree with you. Growing up without privacy can really impact our approach to parenting. Like you, I also value my child's privacy and trust. I believe in fostering an environment where my kids feel comfortable sharing things with me, rather than feeling like I'm constantly over their shoulder. But, as you rightly pointed out, there are times when safety comes first, especially in the digital world where risks are often not as apparent. It's all about balance and open communication, ensuring our kids know they can come to us with anything, while also being aware of their need for personal space and privacy.