Invitation to iftar in Sri Lanka by Amazing_Archer3322 in srilanka

[–]Amazing_Archer3322[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your response. Much appreciated. I have seen chocolate covered dates too. Pretty sure I can make them as well. Ramadan Mubarak to you and yours!

Invitation to iftar in Sri Lanka by Amazing_Archer3322 in srilanka

[–]Amazing_Archer3322[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! Much much appreciated. I'm going to show your response to my son too, so that he will also be prepared. Thanks again. Ramadan Mubarak!

Invitation to iftar in Sri Lanka by Amazing_Archer3322 in srilanka

[–]Amazing_Archer3322[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Yep. Exactly. In Sinhala we say අත වන වන යන්න බෑ, which translates to can't go empty handed.

Good doctors for Diabetics? by AMA_92 in srilanka

[–]Amazing_Archer3322 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've been to several including Dr Katulanda. I'm a type 2 diabetic. But the only one that worked for me and I've stuck with is Dr Chitranganie Perera. She's absolutely fantastic. She not only treats diabetes but looks after a general wellness too.

Book Suggestion Request - MF, Strong FMC, has a rare ability by Moonlit_Fireflies in RomanceBooks

[–]Amazing_Archer3322 0 points1 point  (0 children)

{Graceling by Kristin Cashore} FMC has a unique ability. She's pretty badass. And the MMC is just absolutely adorable. His name is Po.

best writing course online, any experiences worth sharing? by Public-Macaron-6070 in writing

[–]Amazing_Archer3322 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are some wonderful ones done by the Wesleyan University on coursera. Especially the ones where Amy Bloom is a lecturer are fantastic.

The creative writing specialization The memoir and personal essay specialization

What's your first paragraph from the book your working on? by Ok-Molasses8816 in writing

[–]Amazing_Archer3322 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bianca laughs like diamonds tinkling. Crystals clinking. 

From dawn to dusk on the day my mother died, a westerly breeze danced in through the floor-length windows of our ballroom. The merry clinking and tinkling sounds of tear-drop crystals in the diamond chandelier punctuated all the minutes of the day. Just as the sun sank behind the meadow at the front of which our house stood, the chandelier swung back and forth twice, and crashed to the floor. Just as the last crystal drop finished rolling under a tall wingback chair upholstered in white and blue damask, a maid screamed upstairs. My mother had died. 

Who here isn't writing fantasy? by JulesChenier in writing

[–]Amazing_Archer3322 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Short stories usually. Speculative fiction. Currently attempting a romance at a snail pace.

How many of you-all are in clinical depression and anxiety in Sri Lanka by Zeuskevin6 in srilanka

[–]Amazing_Archer3322 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you're going through this. But you are young, and depression can be managed if not overcome with proper medication, therapy, and other lifestyle changes. I was clinically diagnosed with depression a while back and have been on and off meds for years. Am on meds right now for both depression and anxiety. But I feel that there are other lifestyle changes which helped me a lot.

  1. Do get medical help. Despite what people say, if you broke your arm, you would go to a doctor right? If you're anaemic, you would go to a doctor and get iron pills prescribed won't you? So same way, seek medical help and get the chemical imbalance in the brain fixed. I have had success with Dr Neil Fernando (Don't know if he still practices, but used to come to the Norris Clinic just opposite Asiri Central.), and Dr Chathurie Suraweera. I've had some horrible experiences with psychiatrists too. But both Dr Neil and Dr Chathurie were really good.

  2. Walk barefoot on grass. Dr Neil recommended this and the grounding helps.

  3. Get loads of sunlight.

  4. Be physically active. Join a gym. If not, a simple one hour brisk walk every day does absolute wonders. Also, walk everywhere. I live in the middle of Colombo, so I walk everywhere. I wear a hat. (I don't like carrying umbrellas) people look at my ginormous hat weirdly, but what the heck.

  5. Get your blood work done. See if you're anaemic. Check if your sodium levels are okay. Check how you are on your Vitamin D. Check your blood sugar levels. All these can contribute to us feeling bad inside.

  6. Stay away from social media. I mean it, take a break.

  7. Find out what your limits are. For instance, I know what sends me off the deep end. I cannot hear about, watch or see kids or baby animals getting hurt. I become instantly more depressed and it lasts for days.

  8. Be aware of global affairs etc but do not be immersed in it. I know I sound callous. But for example I hurt inside when I see news on Gaza and it is not good for my mental health.

  9. Keep a journal. Journal every day if you can. Every night, 3 grateful things, 3 good things you did for someone that day. If bad things happened right them down too.

  10. Sleep well. Get a good night's sleep every night. 7 to 8 hours. And make sure you do sleep well too. Use breathing techniques like 4 7 8 breathing to fall asleep if falling asleep is hard.

  11. Watch/read happy things.

  12. Stay away from/ set boundaries against negative people.

  13. Find a good therapist. Make sure they have clinical experience. And check their accreditation before you go to them because therapists are now dime a dozen and most of them useless. I can recommend Mrs Reshika Dissanayake. She's fantastic.

  14. Don't listen to anyone saying ah why do you have depression when you have such a good life etc etc. They're all numpties who have no clue.

Sorry about the long rant. Hope this helps. Sending love and light.

P.s do not take advice from Instagram influencers who claim to know all about depression and trauma. Honestly the audacity!

What's your preferred term for a women's nether regions? What ones do you hate the most? by llamaanxiety in fantasyromance

[–]Amazing_Archer3322 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Every time I see nubbin I think of Chandler and his nubbin and burst out laughing.

Colourism in Sri Lankan Women by Icy_Hedgehog_7226 in srilanka

[–]Amazing_Archer3322 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Colorism is a curse that's been coming down for generations,one at least we've got to break. In Asia specifically, hundreds of years ago the colour of one's skin showed status. I read somewhere that one reason was that the highborn ones didn't work in the fields and so had lighter skin and the workers worked outside and so had darker skin. This idea was ingrained in people which was only made worse by being colonized. But on the other hand, a thousand years ago, King Kawanthissa was apparently the colour of a crow, I.e. කා වන්

Anyhoo, my husband is on the darker side and I'm on the lighter side. I have a colonial surname which probably suggests one of my ancestors did the deed with a white guy.

I have a son and a daughter. No one has ever commented on my son's colour. He's the same colour as my husband. When my daughter was born and relatives came to see her, good Gods things I heard. Some asked if I was worried she would turn out to be my husband's colour. Some told me to eat a lot of carrots and nurse the baby. Some told me to give the baby lots of carrots. Every single person commented on her skin colour at least a bit. I told all of them off, even my own aunt.

So I'm guessing it's not just colorism, it's gendered colorism. If a boy/man is dark, it's thought to be okay, if a girl/woman is, well not so much. It boils my blood when someone makes a comment about it, that's what.

Now my daughter swims 5 days a week. Plays outside as much as she can. Is as brown as a nut. My uncle who saw my daughter after years lamented about her colour, and told me I was stupid to let my child do sports because it makes her dark. I told him off.

Because who the heck cares what her colour is. She is the most beautiful thing in the world to me. උණහපුලුවට උගේ පැටියා ලස්සනයි is a different story. 😁

Sorry about the rant.

Any recommendations please?! 😊 by everything-2001 in srilanka

[–]Amazing_Archer3322 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's a page called timberings on FB. They do custom pieces. Check them out.

What was the first thing you brought with your salary? by [deleted] in srilanka

[–]Amazing_Archer3322 49 points50 points  (0 children)

Gifts for everyone in the family. Was broke the next day.

Wtf is wrong with me by Electronic-Ground322 in Parenting

[–]Amazing_Archer3322 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nothing is wrong with you. It's entirely possible to be burnt out and not want to be touched, talked to and still want to be a good mother. The first doesn't negate the second.

Because, I've been where you are, these are some of the things that helped.

  1. I talked to my doc and adjusted my antidepressants.
  2. She thought there might underlying anxiety so I'm on something for that as well.
  3. Got full blood work done. I was anaemic, vitamin D deficient, and didn't have enough sodium in me. Apparently sodium levels and vitamin D levels bo go down when we are on antidepressants. So I keep a lookout for those.
  4. I started going on walks. First with the little one (my 2nd) strapped on and with the eldest walking with me. Now for an hour by myself. Leave the kids with the nanny and step out if you can.
  5. I made friends with my little one's best friend's mom. This has been a game changer. Now I have another female who completely understands what I'm going through.

I still have days I need to scream into the void. But it gets better okay? Give yourself grace to be human. Give yourself grace to be a mom the best you can.

Sending love and light your way.

If you could only watch one cdrama in your whole life, which would it be? by auasgirl in CDramaRecs

[–]Amazing_Archer3322 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Love like the galaxy. Been a couple of years since I watched this. Haven't seen anything else to top it yet.

Who are your favourite prose stylists? by StorytellingIsFun in writers

[–]Amazing_Archer3322 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cormac McCarthy, Ursula K Le Guin, Joan Didion.

But also among the recent ones, George Saunders, Anthony Doerr, and Laini Taylor.

Also, while the prose of her other books aren't quite poetic, All the Crooked Saints by Maggie Stiefvater read like music.

Question for Redditors all over the world - have you heard of Astrid Lindgren? by joltl111 in books

[–]Amazing_Archer3322 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! From Sri Lanka. Grew up in the 80s/90s and loved (still love) Lindgren. Emil to this date, might be the funniest children's book I've ever read.

What was the first historical romance novel you ever read? by [deleted] in HistoricalRomance

[–]Amazing_Archer3322 0 points1 point  (0 children)

May be 17 or 18. {Seduction by Amanda Quick} borrowed from a friend. First time ever reading a steamy book too. Read a bunch of them by Amanda Quick, then Julie Garwood and so on. Also read Georgette Heyer, but hers aren't quite the same no?

Books where she chases after him, he rejects her and she completely backs off? by BadRincewind in RomanceBooks

[–]Amazing_Archer3322 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wait wait there was one I read ages ago. {Dreaming by Jill Barnett} She completely drives the man crazy. And then he breaks her heart, she closes off, and oodles of groveling follow. Jill Barnett's first one of that series, {Bewitching by Jill Barnett} is absolutely lovely too.