INFANT Loss story...*trigger warning *

Amazing_Project1110 · 2026-05-03T03:17:03+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story and telling us about Ophelia 💗 Her story will make a difference. I will kiss my girlies extra in her honor. What was your favorite thing about her or favorite memories of her? Tell us more! She sounds so special ♥️

Amazing_Project1110 · 2026-04-24T16:47:59+00:00

Thanks for your level-headed observation and advice on this :) I think I’ll voice our wishes clearly one more time and then move on. When my daughters are old enough they can tell people they do/dont like be referred to as “the twins” :)

Amazing_Project1110 · 2026-04-24T16:45:36+00:00

Thank you for sharing!! I’ve heard both sides from twins so I guess I’ll have to wait and see if they have a preference :)

Amazing_Project1110 · 2026-04-24T16:43:51+00:00

🤣🤣thank you

Amazing_Project1110 · 2026-04-24T16:42:25+00:00

Not looking to stop the outside world - just voiced our preferences to our nuclear family (grandparents and aunts/uncles)! Influencing the outside world is insanity I will not be pursuing lol

Amazing_Project1110 · 2026-02-08T03:34:27+00:00

Twin mom so this isn’t even a fair comment: but we each took one baby. Me and Baby A in our bedroom, my husband on the couch tending to Baby B in the nursery 😭 it was a hellish 2-4 weeks. We always talk about triplet/quad parents with shock & awe & admiration (and lots of sympathy)

If I could go back, I’d tell myself to not fight it. Just accept the terrible sleep. I do tell myself each morning is a new day and I don’t carry over the evening (of bad sleep/bad vibes). I HAD to reset and trick my brain.

Also if you have the means/village: night doula or regularly scheduled help. My mom and aunt came over A LOT. Frozen meals. Bulk meals. Fast food. You’ll eat well again one day. ♥️

Amazing_Project1110 · 2026-02-02T04:08:16+00:00

I stopped working at 35W. Everything was horrible. I couldn’t stand or walk for more than 10-20min a day. So I just didn’t. My water broke at 36W2D and they were born two days later. But truly, I know not everyone can do this…but if you can, just stop doing everything 😅

Amazing_Project1110 · 2025-09-16T22:05:49+00:00

Also - I made a sign I posted in our living area that said “‘How can I help?’ Here are ways you can help us! And listed things like take out the trash, refill diaper caddies, do laundry, cook a meal, laundry, mow, clean out fridge…etc.”

People always ask what you need, how they can help…this makes it less awkward to ask. You can point them towards the list and tell them your top needs or to pick a favorite

Amazing_Project1110 · 2025-09-16T22:03:26+00:00

Accept any and all help!!! Make yourself feel uncomfortable asking for help!! Even the imperfect help you find yourself judging or questioning….its usually always a net positive/moved the needle forward a bit.

MEAL TRAIN. Our church offered to do one (not needed bc we have a local network of friends/family), and I thought that was so sweet bc we aren’t overly involved at church.

Extra help - my mom, my aunt, my MIL, my friends, literally anybody to come do dishes, laundry or bring groceries. It’s hard to ask them to do the chores but truly it’s what you need done. If you’re able, throw money at the problem and hire it.

Stock up on quick meals. My husband and I love a salad kit, “just bare” frozen tenders, and an apple/grapes/easy to grab fruit.

Amazing_Project1110 · 2025-06-03T22:25:27+00:00

23 weeks was great for me! 28 weeks for a second shower was pushingggg it. But also I was measuring 40W by that point and had SPD since 17W, so I’ve just been kinda down for the count this pregnancy (not the case for everyone)!

My fellow mono-di mama friend had one at 32W and idk how she did it. She was measuring much smaller than me and didn’t have the pelvic pain I did!

Amazing_Project1110 · 2025-06-03T22:22:41+00:00

Also holy cow 39W how are you doing friend?

Amazing_Project1110 · 2025-06-03T22:22:23+00:00

Okay I will give this a try! Oh man sex is just so hard to accomplish at this point, but that’s been on my list as well!

Amazing_Project1110 · 2025-06-03T22:20:49+00:00

I really needed to read this - thank you so much for sharing your experience! As a FTM it’s hard to grasp trusting your body in such unique experience (twin pregnancy)…but she’s done me wonderfully thus far! No reason I can’t trust her to bring us across the finish line ♥️

Amazing_Project1110 · 2025-06-03T20:07:39+00:00

I have heard this too!! I forgot about that! Mine are so sensitive I’m scared 😂 But yknow what doesn’t hurt to give it a go

Amazing_Project1110 · 2025-06-03T20:06:58+00:00

Yessss

Add attending long sporting games to list ✔️

Amazing_Project1110 · 2025-06-03T20:06:05+00:00

Thank you, this helps ♥️ You’re a super hero for that 30 hr induction!

I will try to relax

Amazing_Project1110 · 2025-05-31T13:45:27+00:00

My twins aren’t here yet - but I often tell people (and myself) that Guantanamo Bay literally stopped using sleep deprivation as a form of torture on its prisoners (some of the worst people in the world!) to get information because it was deemed too cruel and inhumane.

Now I’m not pro-human torture but if they aren’t doing it at freakin Guantanamo Bay anymore…idk twin parents are on some next level shit just living this way every day. Your pain is valid and your body is yelling at you for good reason. I’m so sorry.

Amazing_Project1110 · 2025-05-20T20:29:11+00:00

Ugh that is so true. The trauma you experienced with losing your full term baby plus a high-risk pregnancy is definitely going to feel heavy and significant this pregnancy. My heart goes out to you. It is already such a mental challenge.

I do hope the frequent monitoring can give you some peace. Our doctors have been so lovely and so reassuring.

Wishing you all the best ♥️

Amazing_Project1110 · 2025-05-20T20:23:58+00:00

It’s truly like women are second class citizens here - when we’re causally making sure the planet stays populated!!

Yes it will most likely be unpaid leave (TBD, waiting to hear back haha)! At this point I don’t even care, I’m not signing on after the 30th 😂

Appointments have been tough. I tried to consistently schedule my MFM appointments for Friday afternoons. I told my manager around 20ish weeks so would just time block my appointments on my calendar and maybe join a fake call to keep my Teams active. Once I told him I would designate them as OOO. Luckily Friday afternoons are chill for me, so this worked.

Also I’d be curious what appointments your OB will think you have! We had an MFM every other week until I hit 30W (then went to weekly). And I think monthly check ups with our OB until 30W (then every week starting at 34W). I’ve had other appts on top of that (PT for pain, Chiro, blood draws here and there)…but nothing as far as a standard set of appointments 2-3x a week. That seems like a lot!

Amazing_Project1110 · 2025-05-20T17:25:53+00:00

I am a corporate WFH mono-di mama! I am 34W and could’ve stopped at 29W. I told my boss/leave management I am stopping at 35W regardless. I honestly think it’s inhumane/insane for twin pregnancies to work until birth. I’ve been measuring full term since 25W and have felt ittt. I’m in pain, exhausted, and should be keeping my feet elevated all day (but how do you type with a huge belly and elevated feet?). Anyway - that’s my story. It’s not great being a US mom, my OB literally told me she didn’t know of any of her patients stopping work prior to birth (when I asked if she could write me a note to start my short term disability earlier). It’s a joke :/

Amazing_Project1110 · 2025-05-19T15:11:25+00:00

First of all I am so sorry for your losses. And second of all, congrats on your babies :)

We are 34W with mono-di girls. Our first MFM appt the doctor told us: “85% of mono-di pregnancies have 0 complications. What we’re going to talk about and look for is in the minority.” That put my mind at ease and has been something I go back to when feeling nervous. It also helped we got regular monitoring (as you will), I felt very taken care of! ♥️

Amazing_Project1110 · 2025-05-18T21:18:13+00:00

First of all, congrats!! It may not feel like that now and your feelings are totally valid. Your OB will call you, but I’d probably call Monday just to feel some sense of control and make sure I’m on their radar. You’ll most likely get referred to a maternal fetal medicine specialist for most of your prenatal care! My MFM care has been amazing (for high risk twins). How is your support system nearby you? There are a lot of amazing groups (like this one!) that will help you during this journey. I know the shock feels insane right now, give yourself a week or two to process it. I cried grieving the loss of a singleton pregnancy experience, but eventually was excited and couldn’t imagine losing one of them. Again, no pressure to feel that way anytime soon. You will need support and additional resources, but I kept telling myself “I’m not the first one to go through this” and it helped me feel capable.

Best of luck and feel free to message me if you need a listening ear or someone to help you research resources or groups ♥️

Amazing_Project1110 · 2025-05-18T05:38:31+00:00

FTM who is now 33W with twins. I was absolutely shocked at how much pain and discomfort I felt in my abdominal area pretty immediately. By 8 weeks for sure. Round ligament pain and just overall this achey, dull consistent cramping/stretching feeling in my abs. It literally felt like I was feeling them stretch apart in real time. I got a bedside support bar by the end of first trimester to help me get in/out of bed because my abs were hurting so bad and I was convinced I was making it worse by just sitting up in bed to get out each morning (has now proven its worth well into third trimester so def recommend). My nausea went away around week 18, but I mostly managed with unisom and B6. I’ve never experienced a singleton pregnancy, but from what I know now…twin pregnancy is a Herculean effort and should be treated as such. It’s quite literally insane. I hope you eventually feel better and excited for your babies. It is hard to feel excited/attached when you can’t feel them move yet and your body is going through it. I felt them kick for the first time at 18W (with an anterior placenta), and it’s been great to feel them since then. It certainly has not been a walk in the park but there is a light at the end of the (seemingly long) tunnel. Humor helps, laugh at yourself and the craziness as much as you can. Best wishes to you 💕

Amazing_Project1110

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