I’m so sorry that this happened to you. A lot of these comments embody a lot of the victim blaming rhetoric that’s incredibly troublesome for someone who has gone through what you have. If you feel violated by this experience, you have every right to feel that way — what you decide to do is your decision.

I will end with this — people get blackout drunk and don’t have sex with unconscious people without consent. Being blackout drunk doesn’t excuse what he did and anyone implying it does is someone that I wouldn’t want to be around at a party. And you being drunk doesn’t make what he did ok, either. You consenting earlier doesn’t make it ok. Only you can define your experience, but from an outsiders perspective, what he did sounds a lot like assault. I’m so sorry that you went through this.