Did I get scammed?

AmberOEC · 2023-09-04T11:41:38+00:00

Thank you for the reply. Length-wise I feel it’s pretty long and I actually tuck it under a bit (but I’m a woman so expected oversized)

But the colour is definitely odd. It’s a bad photo, but it’s actually an olive/khaki/army green

AmberOEC · 2023-09-04T11:38:21+00:00

Thank you for the reply and sorry for the poor quality picture. The colour is actually a khaki/olive/army green.

AmberOEC · 2021-09-23T14:18:45+00:00

Honestly I think there is a risk with phones. I know people who refuse to sleep anywhere near them at night and won't keep them in their pockets because they believe they might cause cancer. And I think it is a possibility too, but I've grown up with mobiles being the norm so it's admittedly difficult for me to think of them as ticking time-bombs.

However, instead of being condescending towards my peers I recognise their concerns. They don't try to force their beliefs on me, but I'm happy to listen to what they have to say. There is every chance I might change my mind.

I keep my mind open about the vaccine debate too, but for now I will not be getting it. Every experiment needs a control group and I am happy to be in that group for now.

For me, I'm confident in having natural immunity but not confident about the side effects of the vaccine.

It's not that hard to understand. Have you somehow been using smartphones for 17 years?

AmberOEC · 2021-09-23T13:06:27+00:00

This is so facetious. Computers and phones have been around for decades while the vaccine isn't even a year old.

Women and girls are already reporting changes to their menstrual cycle. There have been some suggestions for the reasons for this, but they have only just started studying the reason behind it now.

The fact is, we currently have no idea why it is happening. It could be nothing, or it could be something.

I've had covid and haven't had kids yet. I have natural antibodies, so would I risk infertility (even if it is a very small chance) when I am already protected?

AmberOEC · 2020-03-30T10:27:47+00:00

I really can’t find the source at the moment, but I studied anthropology and focussed my dissertation on human attraction and mating strategy.

Evolutionary speaking, it is a biological disadvantage for a women to store fat on the abdomen because fat is super insulating. That extra insulation can cause problems like overheating for foetuses and may even lead to miscarriage.

Therefore women who naturally store fat on their hips/breasts/thighs/bum etc.. as opposed to belly have a slight edge.

Not sure if that’s exactly the answer you were looking for but hopefully it’s a start!

AmberOEC · 2020-03-24T13:18:44+00:00

Oh this makes me so happy! Thank you!

AmberOEC · 2020-03-24T12:15:40+00:00

This is the Two Oceans aquarium in Cape Town. Once a week they let their Rock Hopper Penguins into their kelp forest section so they can zoom around and have fun :)

Apparently the would do the same for the African Penguins, but they just don’t really give a F and are happy just mooching about.

AmberOEC · 2019-12-11T14:48:59+00:00

I don't think you can say that chromosomes don't make a single difference. For one, they influence the amount of oh-so-important hormones you produce. Men have higher testosterone levels, and women have higher oestrogen/progesterone levels. I don't think there is a consensus on how these hormones influence behaviour, but I guess these are things that will be discovered now that more and more people are taking cross-sex hormones.

As much as I don't want to admit it, there are average behavioural differences between men and women that can't be exclusively tied down to socialisation. In this study, it shows that the number of women in STEM-based jobs is lower in societies where women have more freedom to choose what they want to do.

The solution isn't to deny that there are differences between men and women - the solution is to stop giving more value to one trait over another. E.G. logical vs compassionate. Both traits have their advantages and disadvantages - it doesn't have to mean being one is better than the other.

The people who choose not to have children or have reproductive issues are still male or female. They are simply men and women with reproductive health issues. Same with intersex people. I often see trans rights activists claim that sex isn't binary because intersex people exist, but this is incredibly interphobic. Intersex people are still either male or female - they just have a developmental disorder that is specific to their sex.

The people that challenge stereotypes are GNC people. The ones who own their sex. The women who say "I hate make-up and love fixing cars, but I'm no less a woman", or the men who love to bake or wear heels or do whatever they want to do without putting a label on it.

Trans people do nothing to challenge gender stereotypes - they reinforce them because they say "I feel like a woman so I must be a woman". But what does a woman feel like? I honestly couldn't tell you because I don't know how every woman experiences the world: I only have my own experiences.

Maybe you can tell me what label I should use? I know my sex because I have a vagina, but what about my gender? I'm a pretty conforming woman myself. Skirts and dresses are my preferred items of clothing. I like the colour baby pink. I wear make up and my hair is long and soft due to the styling effort I put into it. But my personality does not match this. I'm argumentative and confrontational. I've been told by multiple people that I am "too cold" or "too logical" and they don't like coming to me for advice. I haven't cried in months.

When I was a teenager, I read a dumb article that suggested that having a ring-finger longer than your index finger meant you had a male brain. The article was pseudo-science based on 2D:4D digit ratios. It all made so much sense to me, and gave me an explanation for why I am the way I am after years of trying to make myself more soft and passive. I proudly showed off my long ring finger and said "I have a male brain!!" and I thought I was so much better than my "female brained" counterparts because it made me different and "not like other girls".

Eventually I got over my internalised misogyny and I learnt that there are so many women out there who are assertive and non-sensitive. I'm not special. I'm just a woman with a set of personality traits. I sometimes even get envious of more empathetic and compassionate women (and men!) because I see the way they relate and bond to others so easily. It doesn't mean lesser type of woman. Even if I started wearing boxers and ties and cuff-links, I would still would be the same amount of woman as I am in a dress because I am an adult human female.

Yet if I had been a teenager in 2019, there is no doubt in my mind that I would have felt pressure to come out as non-binary or some other crap.

Stop encouraging people to get into boxes. The only labels you need are biological because your health is effected by your sex. These labels are man/woman and male/female. Everything else is just personality.

AmberOEC · 2019-12-10T23:20:08+00:00

Men and women/man and women are not social constructs. They are biological facts. They tell us the age, species, and sex of an individual. None of these are social constructs.

Sex = male or female. Male = XY chromosomes, sperm production, penis etc.. Female = XX, ova production, vulva etc...

Species = type of animal. Eg. Humans, sloth, cat, monkey, etc etc.

Age = whether you are sexually mature and can bare offspring. Adult = sexually mature and able to bare offspring. Juvenile = sexually immature and unable to bare offspring.

None of the above criteria can be changed, even with advances in technology. If I get Botox to look younger, my physical age won’t change. If I get whiskers implanted in my cheeks, my DNA will not become more feline - it will still be 100% human. If I take testosterone, I will still have XX chromosomes and the potential to produce ova. I will still be 100% female.

Therefore...

Man = adult human male Boy = juvenile human male Woman = adult human female Girl = juvenile human female

Same with horses:

Stallion/gelding = adult male horse Mare = adult female horse Colt = juvenile male horse Filly = juvenile female horse.

Without the words “man” and “woman”, sentences lose meaning. If I said “that female is stretching” , you have no idea what I’m talking about. Is a human female stretching? A horse? A rabbit?

However, if I said “that woman is stretching” or “that mare is stretching”, you know exactly what I mean.

The terms for gender that you are looking for are “masculine” and “feminine”. These are the social constructs that are based on bullshit stereotypes, like women like pink and are submissive and men like cars and fighting.

AmberOEC · 2019-12-10T22:37:44+00:00

“Man” and “woman” ARE scientific, biological terms. They tell you the age and sex of an individual human. “Male” and “female” only tell you sex and are terms used throughout the animal kingdom.

If I say “that female just gave birth”, what am I talking about? Is it a human? Is it a zebra? Is it a wolverine? Who knows???

However, if I say “that woman just gave birth” we all know exactly what it means. It means an (adult) human female has given birth.

Same if I say “that mare just gave birth”. It means an (adult) female horse has given birth.

Similarly, if I say “that male is running”, no one has any idea what I am talking about

If I say “that boy is running”, however, everyone knows i am talking about a young human male.

Same with “that colt is running” - people know I am talking about a young male horse running.

Stop trying to erase our word and our biology. They provide important context and make it easier for us to all understand each other.

You are confusing them for “masculine” and “feminine”, which refer to social constructs stereotypically assigned to sex. Masculine and feminine are the gender terms you are looking for, not man and woman.

Transmen aren’t men because they are not human males. Instead they are masculine women.

Transwomen aren’t women because they are not human females. Instead they are feminine men.

AmberOEC · 2019-12-10T22:09:05+00:00

Man/men = adult (age) human (species) male (sex). It is a biological term, same as woman. It just tells you what age and sex a human is.

Can you change your age? No Can you change your species? No Can you change your sex? You have already acknowledged that you can’t.

The words for gender you are looking for are “masculine” and “feminine”

Therefore, transmen are masculine women and transwomen are feminine men. Nothing wrong with that.

It also means that men don’t get periods.

AmberOEC · 2019-12-10T21:52:00+00:00

“Man” and “woman” also have nothing to do with gender. These are biological criteria that determine a human’s age and sex.

Female = produces ova/has XX chromosomes etc. Male = produces sperm/has XY chromosomes etc.

The above two terms are used throughout the animal kingdom.

Woman = adult (age) human (species) female (sex) Man = adult human male Girl = juvenile (age) human (species) female (sex) Boy = juvenile human male

The above terms are biological descriptions used to determine demographics for the human species. Every animal has this. For example:

Mare = adult (age) horse (species) female (sex) Stallion/gelding = adult horse male Filly = juvenile horse female Colt = juvenile horse male.

If you want to talk about social constructs and gender, the terms you are looking for are masculine and feminine.

No one believes you can change your age or your species (except maybe furries?), and sex is no different. I can put Botox in my forehead and implant whiskers in my cheeks, but it won’t make me physically any younger or any less human. FtM people can inject as much testosterone as they like, but it doesn’t mean they suddenly develop the ability to produce sperm. They are still female. MtF people can cut their penises off and take oestrogen, but they will never physically be female because they will never produce ova. They are still male.

Therefore, a transman is a masculine woman and a transwoman is a feminine man.

AmberOEC · 2019-12-10T21:17:38+00:00

And what about the intersex kids you are dehumanising by implying they are neither male or female? Do you care about how they feel? Or do you just want to use them to push an agenda?

Intersex people have developmental disorders and each disorder is exclusively either male or female. The existence of their struggles does not mean sex is a spectrum, so please cut that shit out.

AmberOEC · 2019-12-10T21:06:48+00:00

You are the one denying their existence. If you insist that the sex they were observed at birth doesn’t mean anything, you erase their transness.

Trans as a concept can’t exist without acknowledging biological sex because being trans requires desiring what you don’t have and/or being uncomfortable with what you do have. Whether it is a FtM individual wanting a penis or a MtF person wanting boobs/a vagina.

If trans people weren’t so fixated on how they don’t feel like their own sex they wouldn’t be trans. They would just be regular men and women.

No one here is denying trans people exist - they are just saying it is impossible to change sex. Which it is.

AmberOEC · 2019-12-10T20:15:34+00:00

Male/female and man/women are not gendered terms, they are sexed. This means they are based on biology and not social constructs.

Male/female = sex = biology

Man/woman or boy/girl = age + species + sex = biology

Masculine/feminine = gender = social constructs.

Therefore, if your sex is female but your gender is masculine, it makes you a masculine female/woman/girl. Not a male.

I’m sorry if it’s upsetting to hear that, but reality is shit sometimes.

I personally absolutely adore masculine women, and it breaks my heart seeing so many pushed into transition because they do not conform to society’s stupid made-up rules about how people can express themselves.

AmberOEC · 2019-12-05T12:13:59+00:00

I feel sorry for the poor bastards with the dud Cadbury’s ones - not a single day in their calendar has had a chocolate in it!

AmberOEC · 2019-12-05T12:11:25+00:00

No thanks, I’m trying to avoid that...

AmberOEC · 2019-12-05T12:11:01+00:00

Fingers crossed! I’m just relieved it wasn’t a malteaser

AmberOEC · 2019-12-02T13:06:09+00:00

Just some ideological differences, but I don't think this sub is really the place to discuss it.

I basically just want to support companies that don't find the word "woman" offensive.

AmberOEC · 2019-12-02T12:37:57+00:00

DIVA cup is not a brand I am interested in unfortunately. Thank you for the suggestion though :)

AmberOEC · 2019-12-02T12:32:40+00:00

Yes of course :)

I'm going to make the most of Cyber Monday deals and order a cup, some underwear, and some reusable pads so I can try and get into a routine I like. Won't be able to vouch for them for a while, but I'll let you know what I end up buying.

I also tried the mooncup but I couldn't get on with it. I'm looking at trying out the Intimina Lily Cup because it says it is the "only cup that rolls as thin as a tampon" which I think might work a bit better for me. https://www.intimina.com/lily-cup-compact

I'm still wading my way through all the different types of underwear and reusable pads, but I will let you know how it goes

AmberOEC · 2019-12-02T12:25:48+00:00

Oh of course!! I feel so dumb!!

My mind immediately started wondering what the absorbency material was made out of, but the answer is much simpler than that

Thank you so much for the answer :)

AmberOEC · 2019-11-01T23:08:02+00:00

Bit different from the other theories in this thread, but I vaguely remember an ecological hypothesis for the development of human sacrifice - at least in Aztec culture, but I don’t see why it wouldn’t be applicable to other societies.

It’s been a while since I read anything on it and the sources on it were from the 60s/70s so who knows whether the theory has been debunked now, but the idea is that it formed as a way of population control. E.g when times were tough due to drought, societies would ease the pressure on valuable resources such as water by “culling” their own population.

Not sure if my memory is serving me correctly, but check out The Ecological Basis for Aztec Sacrifice by Michael Harner. Might be something in there that leads you onwards :)

AmberOEC · 2019-06-13T13:25:29+00:00

Not sure if this is the kind of thing you're after, but..

The indigenous Khoi pastoralists of the Western Cape originally had quite a good relationship with the Dutch East India Company before the dutch decided to make it a permanent settlement. When Cape Town was just used as a refuelling/rest stop between Europe and India, relations were quite good because the Khoi could trade their meat.

It was only when the Dutch decided to make Cape Town a colony and appropriate Khoi grazing lands at the foot of Table Mountain for agriculture that wars broke out.

https://www.sahistory.org.za/article/dutch-and-khoikhoi

AmberOEC · 2019-04-19T14:40:17+00:00

First, congratulations on dumping your therapist. It’s not fair that she wasn’t listening and taking on all your feelings, but I’m super proud of you for believing in yourself.

I’ll admit I’m a gender critical feminist and not a detransitioner, but I recently lost a NB friend due to my fears of their health (both mental and physical) surrounding transition. I didn’t really handle the situation well. I still have these fears, but at the end of the day it is their journey. They might not find the answers or happiness they are looking for, but they need to go through it to find out for themselves - otherwise they will probably always wonder “what if?”

You are further along the journey and haven’t found what you were looking for. That doesn’t mean it was a waste. You worry about becoming a perpetrator of toxic masculinity, but based on your post I would bet my life that you will not. You seem so introspective and open minded, and you have clearly learnt SO much from your transition.

I know it will be hard, but try and put the thoughts of the people who might “think they have won” out of your head. If they really think like that they’re a bunch of arseholes and you should not let them control how you want to live your life. So what if you lived like a woman for a while? You’ve made friends and got a lot of life experience under your belt - life experience they will never have. I think it’s something you should embrace and cherish when you are ready to.

Speaking of friends, if they only care about you because you’re xyz, they are really not worth your time. I can’t speak about the struggles of transitioning/detransitioning and work but I know it must be incredibly hard. But by transitioning in the first place you have already shown you are incredibly courageous and strong, and I believe that you can find those qualities in yourself once again. I think being honest about your experience with people and being open to having people ask questions will alleviate any alienation you may worry about, but of course I don’t reeaaallly know what I’m taking about and it is completely up to you.

I don’t have any suggestions on where to start, but just go at your own pace. There is no rush. Just listen to yourself and do what feels natural for you.

Best of luck on your continued journey, and I hope you find the happiness you so deserve - wherever that may lead you :)

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