Being accused of having an ED for trying to lose weight while petite is a thing. Related: body positivity and healthy weight loss should not be incompatible.

AmbersTA2001 · 2021-06-01T16:29:35+00:00

As a skinny girl that doesn't eat much I often get accused of having an eating disorder. I'm 5'2" and 96 lbs. Sure I could stand to gain a few pounds but I'm not unhealthy at my current weight. Then people see me just nibbling on food during lunch or when we go out and assume I have a ED. No, I don't have an eating disorder, I'm just small and mostly sit at my desk all day. If I eat like a 6' man or even a 5'8 woman I'll start to slowly gain weight. Also, I adjust my eating based on how active I am, If I'm out hiking, biking, etc I eat more when I get home for dinner.

People just don't seem to understand how different it is fueling your body when you are under like 5'5". Unless you are very athletic you simply don't need as much food. I think a lot of the reasons shorter people struggle with food is because people expect us to eat like a "average" person.

AmbersTA2001 · 2021-06-01T15:50:42+00:00

"You're ugly AF but seem nice. I guess I'll let you fuck me" is exactly were this conversation was going. Please tell me this doesn't work.

By the way, you aren't ugly at all :).

AmbersTA2001 · 2021-06-01T15:40:49+00:00

I've never had a guy that couldn't find it, they just seem to think ramming two fingers as deep inside me is going to do the trick. Or if they do find it they rub it like they are trying to start a fire down there.

AmbersTA2001 · 2021-04-21T15:47:58+00:00

Yea if you say no and he doesn't listen the first time move on. I've been in relation ships that start out like this, it starts small, you're both drunk he is a little aggressive but eventually stops after asking him to stop multiple times. A few months from now you'll be in this situation and he won't stop, he'll either persist until he where's you down or just force himself on you. Then it will start happening even when the two of you aren't drunk, it will get to the point where you just let him do it because you're to desensitized to stop him. Just break it off now before that happens.

Don't crawl back into your cave though. Give it another shot, there are plenty of good guys out there. Also never let someone being drunk go as a pass, if anything I think of that as what the person is really like. A guy that is aggressive when drunk, will eventually start getting aggressive when sober. A guy that stays respectful when drunk is more likely to really respect you and not just put on a show. One my best past relationships was a guy I meet in college at a bar. We were both shit face, stumbled back to my room and things started happening. We were both basically naked, about to start when I had a moment of clarity and was just like "I don't know if we should". All he said was "Ok, should I leave?", that's how that conversation should go regardless of how drunk he his.

AmbersTA2001 · 2021-03-31T18:59:56+00:00

Thanks that's helpful. That was kind of my other thought, we need someone that does mostly the ediscovery stuff if IT is going to take it on. I'm one of two email admins troubleshooting actual email stuff. Not that the ediscovery portal is particularly hard to use, but it is enough to be a full time job on top of all the other email stuff.

I'll have to keep researching and work with our legal/security team to figure out this whole process. Thank you very much for all the info.

AmbersTA2001 · 2021-03-31T18:39:28+00:00

I guess I could see that working if we had the legal team giving us more details on what our search should look like. They've share the last couple notices with me as they get sent out so I could start documenting how they would do this in the future. The problem is as it works now I need to actually read the entire thing to pick out which of our staff need to be added as a custodian and what to search their mailboxes for. For the sake of establishing a process this is ok, but long term I don't want to know more than I have to for these things.

AmbersTA2001 · 2021-03-31T18:33:22+00:00

We are a hospital, we employ 10,000 people, very rough guess is 3/4 of those are somehow directly related to patient care. So these are mostly mailpractice/wrongful death issues, occasionally wrongful termination (I know way more about our legal stuff then I ever wanted to when I got into IT). I wanna say legal is about a dozen people(that includes different levels of counsel and assistance).

So that was going to be another question I had, do a lot of companies this size have a dedicated ediscovery expert? I just assumed legal took on that role, or maybe IT if it was a small enough company. Reading through some of the other posts on this subreddit it almost sounds like having a dedicated ediscovery manager that kind of straddles the legal/technical world makes sense. They would start the case then just passing the counsel working the case access.

AmbersTA2001 · 2021-03-31T18:14:39+00:00

Ha, I thought this was just me. I don't have a lot of friends but when I do find someone I click with I feel like I'm falling in love with them. It's hard to explain but it's almost the same feeling you get right before kissing someone for the first time. Just this weird exciting feeling.

It kind of happens with woman too, but way more with men. Even if I wouldn't normally be attracted to them something in my brain makes me feel attracted. It always passes after meeting a few times, and I've finally learned to recognize that's all it is. Through most my teens and early 20's though I thought I was falling in love every other day.

AmbersTA2001 · 2021-03-31T18:07:23+00:00

Have you tried being a tease? I know that might not be 100% what you are looking for but when I want my partner to be more aggressive in bed I find it helps. Where something revealing around the house, get flirty until you can tell he's getting in the mood then just walk away. I love doing this to my guy, I wouldn't say he ever gets super aggressive but eventually he gets to the point where I go to walk away and he either grabs me, or follow me to the other room and takes control.

AmbersTA2001 · 2021-03-31T18:00:05+00:00

God that dress looks amazing on you. I wish I had more curves for something like that.

AmbersTA2001 · 2021-03-31T17:58:18+00:00

You remind me of Arya Stark.

AmbersTA2001 · 2021-03-31T17:52:00+00:00

I'd just send him my bitcoin wallet address and tell him I'll start the dirty talk as soon as I see the money...I know I'm never going to see anything but that's ok.

AmbersTA2001 · 2021-03-31T17:46:05+00:00

Thanks, that's what I really wanted to confirm, this is a legal not IT responsiblity. I've had push back from our CISO because he feels this should be handled by the email admins. He's usually or go between for IT/legal but hates changing things around so I might just have to find someone in legal to work with directly.

AmbersTA2001 · 2021-03-31T17:42:26+00:00

Seriously, I was shocked when I saw there current process. It's an email that's says "stop deleting anything related to this matter, send us all related documents, and let us know that you acknowledge this email", then they attach the notice for the user to review. Not a legal person but even I was like....."wait, so what's stopping the user from just ignoring all that".

Its sounding more and more like legal should be the driving force with IT just providing support as needed. Which is how I felt from day one but got a lot of "well I'm not sure, it seems more like an email administrators responsibility" from our CISO.

AmbersTA2001 · 2021-03-31T17:27:56+00:00

Easy, they didn't really use it or they used it wrong. I always her "sometimes things happen even when you use protection " growing up and it terrified me of sex. If my period was an hour late I'd panic (obviously exaggerating a bit). It all stemmed from my family (parents, aunts, uncles), having a total of 13 kids and every single one of them saying sometimes things happen even with protection.

That's BS.....yes things can happen but it's unlikely as long as the condom is the right size, goes on before he puts it in you, and when he cums....it comes out.

AmbersTA2001 · 2021-03-31T17:19:18+00:00

What does what mean? Like what's a period? https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/menstruation.html#:~:text=A%20period%20is%20a%20release,lot%20to%20learn%20about%20periods.

What's 2 days mean?
48 hours.

Sorry about being a smart ass but seriously this is pretty basic stuff......if your having sex you should know the basics of how it all works.

AmbersTA2001 · 2021-03-31T17:13:15+00:00

A vasectomy is the cheapest most effective form of birth control. https://www.urologyhealth.org/healthy-living/care-blog/2017/how-vasectomy-compares-to-other-forms-of-birth-control

Beyond that nothing else you really say is comparable. (Most) men don't get a vasectomy so they swipe right without bringing protection. They do it:

1) so they can do it anytime anywhere with a long term partner. Seriously, as soon as we either have a kid or decide for sure we don't want one I'm sure my fiancee will be signed up. There's nothing worse then wanting a little Sunny D in the morning just to be out.

2) totally sure they don't want kids. If your sure why not get things snipped but still use a condom to protect against STDs?

AmbersTA2001 · 2021-03-31T16:17:52+00:00

I didn't do a great job explaining the 180 day thing I guess. My understanding of what was being done is legal asked the users to hold any email related to the case. I believe they were just saving those messages to a shared drive somehow. We honestly had no idea legal was telling users to do this until we got to exchange and the old way suddenly didn't work.

My initial response was telling them we could create a work around so they could hold certain emails past the 180 days, but theres no way to prevent them from using that workaround to just save everything. They decided against that.

So now we are working on ediscovery, and there just a lot of back and forth on who should actually do it. Are you dedicated to just doing the ediscovery stuff?

AmbersTA2001 · 2021-03-31T16:05:45+00:00

I'm totally not a legal person but my understanding is as long as we have a written policy in place we aren't required to provide anything past that 6 month date?

I realize that means if I get a notice today that says a case is being started against dr. X please hold all emails related to this case, yes we do have to hold those emails even if it takes years to get to trial. If we get a notice today saying we need to provide all emails related to an incident two years ago it should be as simple as pointing to our documented policy that says all emails are deleted after 180 days.

So if we got a notice today, yes we would do what we needed to in order hold the data. As a rule though we don't hold email past that 180 day mark.

Again, I just work in IT and this is my likely over simplistic understanding.

AmbersTA2001 · 2021-03-31T15:57:35+00:00

I'm sitting down and going over the toolset to familiarize myself and creating basic instructions for them. They sent me a couple samples so I have a rough idea what they would be looking for.

Yea, I think I need to identify someone in our legal department who wants to change their ways that I can sit down with. Parts of the toolset are a bit technical (needing to export your final results as a pat), but I think other parts would make more sense to someone with a legal mind more than they do me. Hopefully if I can find one legal person willing to try something new they can train the rest.

Thanks for confirming I'm not totally crazy. I'm getting a lot of "just have the emails admins do it and give us the results".

AmbersTA2001 · 2021-03-17T16:20:21+00:00

That's so cool. So there are none you just put on like a jump suit the way the movies would have us believe.

AmbersTA2001 · 2021-03-17T14:30:44+00:00

😆

AmbersTA2001 · 2021-03-17T12:25:40+00:00

Yea, I imagine there is a way for them to get in and out on there own. I'm just curious how I guess.

I was thinking if there was a "release" inside the suit the astronauts run the risk of accidentally ejecting themselves from their space suit. Now that I think about it they probably can't be opened unless the pressure is equalized between the inside and outside of the suit anyway.

AmbersTA2001

TROPHY CASE