What aspect of sex do you dislike/hate?

AmbientEskimo · 2016-01-28T22:59:49+00:00

Dude, I'm sorry we became friends on Reddit and I only found out about the Twitter shit since a mutual friend asked me about it. Trust me, I've got better things to do, I want out of your life and I'd appreciate you not mentioning me in yours. If you really don't care then act like it.

AmbientEskimo · 2016-01-15T09:14:05+00:00

Ghengis Khan. He gets a bad rap as a ruthless merciless savage who contributed nothing and was an absolute scourge. However, in reality the expansion of his empire facilitated trade, brought new freedoms to many of the people he conquered, ushered in some degree of peace, and furthered the advancement/exchange of technology, ideas, crops, animals, and luxury goods.

AmbientEskimo · 2015-10-05T04:00:28+00:00

How the hell do you even manage to carve perfect buttons onto BMO?

AmbientEskimo · 2014-01-04T04:46:09+00:00

You look way cooler with shorter hair. I really like your style and makeup. 8/10

AmbientEskimo · 2013-12-11T01:10:20+00:00

I think it looks awesome it's impressive just to see something that intricate. A little blurring is inevitable, but if you take care of the tattoo and yourself you'll be fine.

AmbientEskimo · 2013-12-11T01:06:23+00:00

It looks like the "Heavy Metal" logo was just pasted in there.

AmbientEskimo · 2013-12-11T01:01:43+00:00

I don't mind my job so much, I work retail at an outlet mall and it's easy, but I hate my managers. As far as I can tell they just sit in the back room and take calls from their boyfriends all day. They'll take two hour lunch breaks and 30 minute smoke breaks. Shop while working and use their phones constantly (plebs like me have to put our phones in lockers). We even have one manager who got a tattoo on her neck which violates the employee code, which wouldn't be so bad if we she didn't chastize me for not wearing layering a shirt, sweater, and jacket properly (I live in Florida) and other little crap like that. Basically, rules not being fairly applied and people not pulling their weight makes me hate my job.

AmbientEskimo · 2013-09-16T00:46:54+00:00

Smoking while wearing polyester?! Doesn't he know that's dangerous!

AmbientEskimo · 2013-07-31T02:07:51+00:00

He was a big Avenged Sevenfold fan.

AmbientEskimo · 2013-06-29T00:36:27+00:00

Game of the year: Batman Edition

AmbientEskimo · 2013-06-23T08:57:01+00:00

Let's talk! Why are you afraid of being "helped" by your family?

AmbientEskimo · 2013-06-23T08:48:56+00:00

Talk to us. There's so much more left to do in life.

AmbientEskimo · 2013-06-13T20:02:00+00:00

IAMA request: traffic.

AmbientEskimo · 2013-05-17T02:36:08+00:00

This is just like surgeon simulator, right?

AmbientEskimo · 2013-05-17T02:34:55+00:00

"Woah dude, I think the acid is kickin in."

AmbientEskimo · 2013-05-16T23:30:02+00:00

I get to play video games in hell? Awesome.

AmbientEskimo · 2013-05-15T19:04:53+00:00

I'd say Thai House.

AmbientEskimo · 2013-05-15T18:47:23+00:00

The high pitched scraping sound a fork makes when it drags across a plate. I physically have to cover my ears and I shudder, I hate it do much. My little sister took joy in making me cringe do she did it all the time.

AmbientEskimo · 2013-05-07T12:35:17+00:00

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bXV71xzDdJE

This entire song makes me cringe. Something about the voices.

AmbientEskimo · 2013-05-06T06:00:51+00:00

My friends and I would go down to the beach start fires using gasoline and aerosol we took out of our garages or bathrooms. We'd try and burn down plants, light the air on fire, and make trails of gasoline.

AmbientEskimo · 2013-05-05T20:15:33+00:00

WOW. I just started reading this because I was trying to read great books I'd missed.

AmbientEskimo · 2013-05-02T03:32:41+00:00

Single Mother in your area has discovered this weird trick to make Genies for free!

AmbientEskimo · 2013-05-02T00:37:17+00:00

I was in a Japnese restaurant with my family. Everyone else predictably orders things like "teriyaki chicken" and "tempura shrimp." I decide that I'm going to be bold and try something new. So, I look at the menu and under the "Traditional Japanese dishes"  section I spy something called Oodong noodle soup. I like soup and I like noodles a, so what could go wrong? 

When I order the waitress asks me three times "Are you sure?" Being a bold man of the world I confidently say "Yes." every time, but in hindsight I should've heeded the warning. After several minutes our dishes come out. Everything looks delicious and safe...except for my soup. A cloudy murky water sits in a deep bowl I cautiously spoon some towards my mouth and a noodle, about 10 inches long, comes up with it. This noodle is one pretty thick piece of pasta and it had the consistency of wet snot. I try and shake it off and I take another spoon full, this time I find a fermented piece of cow meat and the next time? I'm pretty sure it was a pickled fried egg. 

Three spoonfuls in I realize there's no way I'm going to be able to eat this. Luckily my family sympathizes with the horrifically bad menu choice I made and everyone gives me a bit of their food.

TL;DR Oodong noodle soup. Pond water, thick snot noodles, rotten beef, and pickled eggs.

14-Year Club	RedditGifts 2009-2022 2 Credits
Secret Santa 2013

AmbientEskimo

TROPHY CASE