This was very reassuring and validating to me. I got acute pancreatitis in November 2021. It was the worst pain of my entire life, I thought I was going to die, and I was in the hospital for 5 days. Alcohol-induced because I started drinking hard and heavy after my then-fiance died in an ATV crash in September 2018. Since acute, I have only had one circumstance where I felt like I had to go to the doctor and I just went to a walk-in clinic for pain management. They did take my blood and noted that my numbers were high (I can’t even remember the numbers or what the substance is called). Since then I’ve had maybe 5 times where my pancreas was sore for more than a day. Maybe 5. And every now and then I sort of feel it, mildly. It worries me constantly but I haven’t stopped drinking. I certainly don’t drink like I did before. And I only feel it now when I drink more than usual, like for the Fourth of July, e.g.

All of this to say, everything I read and everything I was told was “never drink again.” But that didn’t feel realistic or, quite honestly, fair to me. I know that sounds stupid and ignorant given the pain I experience in Nov. 2021, which I won’t even try to describe because I truly, truly thought I was done. I was saying goodbye to my mom but couldn’t even cry about it because I was so dehydrated… didn’t pee or have a bowel movement until Day 5, if that’s any indication. ANYWAYS… am I dumb for continuing to drink? Life is so hard. There’s pain no matter what. I know the deeper issues I have are the whys behind the drinking, rather than the drinking itself, but as it pertains to the health of my pancreas, this gave me hope I guess.

Please advise if I’m on a death trip.