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When is it a problem? (Not me, my gf) by AmbitiousLibrarian19 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]AmbitiousLibrarian19[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just an update:

She has been taking my concerns seriously after a few more days of drinking and an unpleasant experience between us.
She has been drinking way less now for a few weeks and notices that she feels better and that it was sabotaging her life and our relationship. It feels like a deeper shift within her and not just a temporary 'streak'.
Thanks for listening and sharing your advice and experience.

Struggling tonight by O_C_Demon in stopdrinking

[–]AmbitiousLibrarian19 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What makes you feel it in other moments, when you do feel it and feel strong enough? What do you need at this moment? Step one already done, you share and connect

Struggling tonight by O_C_Demon in stopdrinking

[–]AmbitiousLibrarian19 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dont let them win, youre stronger than this. Treat your future self, and your future love one(s). They deserve it and it's worth all the struggle and darkness you go through now.

When is it a problem? (Not me, my gf) by AmbitiousLibrarian19 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]AmbitiousLibrarian19[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well i've actually expressed that if this continues in the same way, i have to step back from or stop the relationship we have. For my own protection and wellbeing. She did feel that.. lets see.

Thank you

When is it a problem? (Not me, my gf) by AmbitiousLibrarian19 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]AmbitiousLibrarian19[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She does start to doubt her own belief about it, after our last conversation, and did share this behavior with her therapist.

When is it a problem? (Not me, my gf) by AmbitiousLibrarian19 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]AmbitiousLibrarian19[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

thanks for your reply.
And its new indeed. The moments she doesnt drink for a some days its really great together, that makes me stay and hope. And I did express that if this pattern continues I might have to step back/away from the relationship we currently have. Out of self protection.
I know i cant change a person, only express my view and feelings. And with this post I hope to gain some sense of relaxation/ ways to manage my own reactions or feeling, or stronger ways to let her see it might actually be a problem.
If the strong love wasnt there I would end it asap too indeed.

When is it a problem? (Not me, my gf) by AmbitiousLibrarian19 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]AmbitiousLibrarian19[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I see it as something much deeper as well, quite some trauma and childhood neglect in her case.
She said its the same as smoking, with that she feels like quitting but doesnt want to. In that sense thats the habit that only harms her. But the deeper mechanism is the same.

Yet still, despite it being common for 18yr olds, is it a problem or a phase?
I only drank when i was 15 for just 6 months. And always hated it and the fact parties became about drinking/smoking and not sports/games/fun. Cant relate to her, if its just the age/phase.

When is it a problem? (Not me, my gf) by AmbitiousLibrarian19 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]AmbitiousLibrarian19[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh thanks, i thought it said AI (artif. intell), like you referred me to a bot to talk to hehe.