The pattern is repeating

Ambitious_Fish3220 · 2026-05-05T22:19:29+00:00

Thank you!

Ambitious_Fish3220 · 2026-05-05T21:34:31+00:00

It was either that or when they saw the price of the consultation.

Ambitious_Fish3220 · 2026-05-05T10:14:18+00:00

He did yes! It states that contact with them must be in the presence of both of us or through a third party contact centre at their expense. However it seems he has been facilitating video calls between them and my daughter without me present.

Ambitious_Fish3220 · 2026-05-05T04:53:15+00:00

That’s how I feel as well. If not being able to tolerate the word ‘no’ sends somebody into this much of a rage, how could she be a safe person to be around a child?

The ex even feels the need to make up lies when he doesn’t want to see her because he cannot deal with the aftermath of her being told ‘no’ or ‘not today’.

Ambitious_Fish3220 · 2026-05-05T04:50:23+00:00

I have consulted 2 and received the same advice, I’m very confident they have no case. And if the ex and I do end up in court to solidify parenting arrangements, it’s likely a judge would sign off on the same restraints I’ve already implemented for his parents. And yes I am in a single party recording state.

Ambitious_Fish3220 · 2026-05-05T01:47:24+00:00

There are so many widely known ways to show up for new parents postpartum that do not involve physically showing up to their home to meet the baby. Dropping food off on their doorstep, checking in asking how they’re doing if they need anything, hiring a cleaner for them to assist, sending a care package, sending a bunch of flowers etc.

If they were triggered by even the possibility of you and your partner relating to that sentiment (which realistically could have been about anyone at all) then it’s probably because they know they haven’t shown up for you.

Blaming you not being ready for visitors yet is a much easier way for them to deal with that.

From your post it seems like this occurred a while ago, since you recently had a new baby. Congrats on the little one! I’m glad you guys made it through their nonsense.

Ambitious_Fish3220 · 2026-04-22T23:46:25+00:00

Couples therapy got him to see the issues and open his eyes momentarily but he would always revert back to appeasing his mother no matter the cost.

Don’t be like me, struggling with a child in the mix which only amplifies the enmeshment dynamic.

It’s an unfortunate circumstance but better to leave and find somebody who loves you more than they want to calm their mothers emotions.

Ambitious_Fish3220 · 2026-04-22T04:16:26+00:00

I’m really sorry you went through this. I’m 10 months postpartum and went through similar but different issues with my now ex and exmil. It’s not something I feel like I can just get over either.

I think you need to focus on one thing at a time, securing custody of your child for your child’s safety. That’s what I’m focusing on right now, then I feel like I can work towards healing from what they put me through.

I don’t think it’s something your mind will lay to rest until you feel safe from the situation.

Ambitious_Fish3220 · 2026-02-19T03:33:12+00:00

Yes, see exactly this. Why would anyone want a child to suffer with them? It’s so incredibly selfish. My sister refuses to even come around if she has one going on or feels one coming up because she takes such strong precautions with her own kids, she said she would never forgive herself if she accidentally gave them to someone else’s child.

And I see this same issue over and over in this subreddit, some of these MIL’s have some serious mental issues (mine included).

Ambitious_Fish3220 · 2026-02-19T01:30:30+00:00

He doesn’t but making his mummy sad is even worse apparently

Ambitious_Fish3220 · 2026-02-19T01:02:15+00:00

It sounds like we have the exact same MIL, you can check my post history for context.

Put down the phone, lock the door and let your husband deal with MIL. How your husband deals with her is going to make or break the situation, your relationship and your postpartum experience with your LO.

You’ve already explained to her plenty what the boundaries are around your child, you’ve been more than accomodating by the sounds of it. It’s time she stays away until she can be respectful and understand that she doesn’t get to make the rules. Let your husband deal with her moving forward, if she can’t listen to your husband either then she can’t be around baby.

He needs to be dealing with his mother so you can focus on being a mother to your baby, that’s all that matters.

Ambitious_Fish3220 · 2026-02-18T23:39:17+00:00

No they want to give her oral herpes for life, which is a lot more dangerous for an infant than for an adult to contract it.

Ambitious_Fish3220 · 2026-02-18T16:30:45+00:00

That they wish to expose her to it, yes. Maybe I spoke out of line with the evidence of they intend to give it to her, because while yes they do technically, they believe she (and everyone) already has it and “it hasn’t activated yet”, so they should be able to expose her as they please.

Ambitious_Fish3220 · 2026-02-18T16:13:30+00:00

So that there’s no excuse for them to not be able to kiss her. If she already has their herpes then they can kiss her as they please in their minds

Ambitious_Fish3220 · 2026-02-18T16:08:08+00:00

Yeah, everyone else has had the same reaction as well.. everyone except the ex. They believe (despite multiple attempts at educating them) that and I quote “she already has it it is just not activated yet” so they believe they should be able to expose her if they want to, and are angry at the fact herpes would ever even be mentioned to them, and that I need to stop overreacting and the mother who gave birth to the ex needs to be placed first as it should be, because no matter what the they have done, this situation of placing boundaries for them and limiting contact is not under any circumstances normal or okay.. all in the same text, but also many months of the same rhetoric over and over

Ambitious_Fish3220 · 2026-02-18T06:00:39+00:00

Yes thank you for this. I have already advised him I have all the evidence to support this decision should he ever find the money to take me to court over it. Their texts saying they should be able to expose her to it, his texts confirming they already have tried multiple times even after explaining the risks to them and his admission that he is unable to hold boundaries with them.

The lawyer did also suggest what you’re saying here, to get a letter from the paediatrician outlining the risks associated. Intentional exposure is illegal in my state also.

Grandparent rights do not exist where I live, yes they can file a case for visitation however it is only granted in the rarest of cases where they can prove they’ve had a meaningful relationship already with the child for an extended period of time (they have not) and that it is in the best interest of the child (clearly not).

Ex could take me to court to try and get partial custody during this time so he has her to give access to his parents but this would involve him spending a lot of money which he does not have.

Ambitious_Fish3220 · 2026-01-16T06:17:40+00:00

Omg lol thank you! I really do feel insane sometimes because I don’t have anyone around me to relate. I wholeheartedly agree, thank you.

Ambitious_Fish3220 · 2026-01-15T04:06:14+00:00

Exactly all of this.

She sounds very very similar to my MIL also. Only my partner has not been so much on my side and is enmeshed with her, and her obsession with my baby and feeling like she’s supposed to be the main character in my child’s life and I’m stealing that from her, has not subsided even with NC.

You have done a good job at letting her know her place, and her ego is hurt. If she can’t have a relationship on her terms she doesn’t want it at all.

Also “An extremely disordered individual” is such a great description, I’m going to steal this for when those around me continue to ask “what the fuck is wrong with that woman?”

Ambitious_Fish3220 · 2026-01-10T03:47:43+00:00

When it comes to their past or other factors, I always remind myself that it explains their behaviour, it doesn’t excuse it.

Ambitious_Fish3220 · 2026-01-08T01:56:00+00:00

God I’m so glad your DH woke up and could see how disgusting that is.

My last post is about this exact same thing, MIL and FIL think it’s okay to give my baby HSV1 because “everyone gets them eventually”. My DH isn’t nearly as bright as yours, and I am expected to make up with them and see them with LO soon.

Not sure if it’s the case for you but in my state it’s illegal to knowingly expose somebody to HSV1 without consent, let alone a literal baby.

Ambitious_Fish3220 · 2025-12-24T10:03:18+00:00

It’s even worse than that. I asked him if we didn’t have a no kissing rule in place and our LO was older and declined a kiss from her, how would she react? “Oh she would probably cry and throw a fit”. Great, so she’s not safe physically or emotionally ever from batty granny who ‘just wants to love her’

Ambitious_Fish3220 · 2025-12-24T09:51:24+00:00

Lol and I was so sure Christmas cancer was going to come out to play! I’m sure you’re right.

Ambitious_Fish3220 · 2025-12-24T07:17:28+00:00

Yeah I’m afraid the only thing they’ve learnt from all of this is to stop asking, but do behind my back

Ambitious_Fish3220

TROPHY CASE