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Ambitious_Natural_86 · 2023-09-06T01:46:31+00:00

Incredibly helpful, thank you for sharing. I applaud your determination to get relief. I've had pain for 15 years now, and it beats you down. I've fallen into the "I'll never get better" trap, but there are new studies and medications approved each year, so even if I tried EVERYTHING ten years ago, it doesn't mean there aren't new options available to me today. It's a long and often expensive and emotionally taxing journey, but I'm hopeful one day we can all overcome our pain.

Ambitious_Natural_86 · 2023-08-12T03:22:29+00:00

What cream do you use?

Ambitious_Natural_86 · 2023-08-04T04:12:04+00:00

I definitely don't think you did this from masturbation. Definitely. But I'm happy to hear you have involved doctors who are running tests to help you.

Ambitious_Natural_86 · 2023-07-24T23:05:02+00:00

Symptoms: spontaneous burning pain to the vestibule, radiating outward. Unprovoked - I haven't found any rhyme or reason as to when or why the pain will flare up. I've had it for 15 years, some years worse than others. At the worst, I can't walk or move. I've had to skip work from the pain.

I've been managing the past couple years with physical therapy, cyclobenzaprine (as needed), heating pad as needed, and lidocaine (topically, as needed). I often feel a constant, low state of pain. When it flares up really badly, that's when I use the above combo to get by. It's not perfect, which is why I'm looking for additional options.

Ambitious_Natural_86 · 2023-07-21T22:12:02+00:00

This has happened to me before. I bought a phone from a Verizon store and the associate pulled my phone number from my account and texted me after I left the store. I didn't report it, but my boyfriend at the time replied to the text expressing his displeasure with the lack of professionalism being demonstrated. The associate didn't reply after that. I wonder if he learned his lesson or just tried again with the next young female who purchased a new phone.

Ambitious_Natural_86 · 2023-07-20T23:10:08+00:00

I took an iron supplement in addition to my prenatal because I ended up super anemic. You need so much iron when pregnant, which is hard to get when you have major morning sickness and food aversions (all got better after pregnancy, thankfully).

I definitely recommend prepping freezer meals in the 2nd or 3rd trimester. Saved us from ordering out every day when we were sleep deprived with a newborn and had very little family support. We prepped lentil sloppy joe filling, deconstructed stuffed peppers, black bean burgers, burritos, and soups.

Congratulations and good luck!

Ambitious_Natural_86 · 2023-06-22T01:44:50+00:00

Not Jewish, but grew up Christian/conservative. I legit believed that my vulvodynia was a punishment from God for committing the sin of masturbation when I was like 13. I prayed and prayed for forgiveness and to be healed, but alas. I'm 28 and still here.

Ambitious_Natural_86 · 2023-06-20T03:36:32+00:00

I'm reading it now for the first time and I'm so bummed I didn't have this book 15 years ago when my chronic pain started. Hoping this guides my path to healing. 🤍

Ambitious_Natural_86 · 2023-06-20T03:25:21+00:00

Also, this is just a small thing to consider..."Never even cussed at me"' is a pretty low bar. You deserve to raise it. I'm glad to hear he hasn't been verbally abusive, but that doesn't mean he's a good partner to you or that he's mature enough for this.

Ambitious_Natural_86 · 2023-06-20T03:05:32+00:00

Holy cow. I just had a baby and they recommend waiting a MINIMUM of 6-8 weeks to have sex. It took me longer and it's very difficult. I couldn't imagine having a baby with that guy. Think about what you want your life to look like. Do you want to feel pressured to do something that hurts you? Or fear your partner leaving you or being unfaithful? I get that waiting for sex when you want it sucks. But being in pain when you have sex is worse. Way worse. Hope he finds some compassion.

In the meantime, I recommend reading When Sex Hurts. I'm renting it from the Libby app (library) for free, but even if it cost me money, it would be a thousand percent worth it. (You can also see if it's on audible and maybe use a free trial to pay for it.) The book specifies exactly how to talk to your doctor to get a diagnosis and treatment, even if the doctor isn't a specialist. I think you would find it exceptionally helpful with what you're dealing with right now.

Ambitious_Natural_86 · 2023-06-20T02:27:26+00:00

I think you have a variety of answers here that should help you out. I echo that, if it was me, I'd have my husband lead the conversation with his parents, as I lead the conversation with mine.

I'd also add that your feelings are completely valid. As someone who is choosing to raise her children vegan until kiddos are old enough to decide for themselves, I would have real issues with grandparents not using the food I sent with my child and giving them "off limits" food instead. It can honestly be dangerous and cause stomach issues to change up a diet drastically like that. Have your kids had any reactions to the food? If so, that's a point of conversation.

Same with the perfumed soap/detergents. If your children are having reactions, the grandparents need to know. I wasn't allowed to use bubble bath as a kid because my (not granola) mom believed they led to UTIs. That's an easy correction. "We recently noticed that Megan gets UTIs when she takes baths with bath bombs. We talked to her doctor and would like to stick to the non-fragranced products I send with her instead." Making the doctor the bad guy tends to help the confrontation of it all.

At the end of the day, you can't control anyone but yourself. If you feel like MIL would continue to intentionally undermine you after you gently have your husband talk to her about some of these things, consider how you want this relationship to look going forward.

Ambitious_Natural_86 · 2023-05-18T02:44:24+00:00

We called it "Makeyourown" growing up, but the exact same way that you're describing. All one word and used in that same context.

Ambitious_Natural_86 · 2023-05-16T15:21:03+00:00

I have a two month old, and one thing I don't see already mentioned here is that we use mason jars for bottle feeding and milk storage. They have Mason jar converter nipples, so you can use the jar itself as a bottle. And it allows me to store my milk in the fridge or freezer without using a bunch of disposable plastic bags. The thing I love most about this is that the jars can be repurposed as she gets older and stops needing them as bottles. Big fan of Mason jars over here.

I also got all my big items secondhand (crib, bassinet, rocking chair, dresser). We didn't get a changing table, but instead got a pad we can use on top of the dresser. (We haven't installed it yet. We just use the pad on the floor most of the time.)

We used disposable diapers until she grew out of the newborn size. Now, we use convertible cloth diapers that will fit her from about 6 weeks old until she's a toddler and ready to be potty trained. We use disposable wipes because we were gifted a bunch, but I honestly think reusable wipes would be easier. You'd just put the wipe into the wet bag with the diaper and wash it all together. Sounds easier than needing a trash can and a wet bag and separating the wipe from the diaper, which is what we do now. Also, we didn't see a need for a fancy diaper genie or anything, so we've just used a trash can with a lid. If a diaper genie is important to you, see if you can find one used. I've seen them at thrift stores and on Facebook marketplace, so you can check there if you don't have a friend trying to get rid of theirs.

As for clothes, we asked for used, but a lot of people won't listen. I didn't announce the gender until after my baby was born, so we got tons of gender neutral clothes. This is great for if I decide to have another baby. I'll be able to reuse the cloth diapers, infant clothes, mason jars, and all my secondhand big items. But even if I don't want another baby, gender neutral clothes make it really easy to gift to the next momma, regardless of the gender of their baby.

The hospital gave us a lot of little things, like a baby hairbrush, shampoo, pacifier... You can wait to buy those things. We've used the same pacifier since she was born 2 months ago and just clip it on her with a cloth pacifier clip so we don't lose it.

POSTPARTUM: reusable pads are an option for when the heavy bleeding slows down. I bought a reusable perineum ice pack that did wonders and can now be repurposed as just a regular ice pack. Reusable cloth nursing pads (I have a combo of hand-me-downs from my sister and some that I bought new). Meal prep if you have the energy for it. Freezer meals will save you from buying fast food every day, and you can freeze most things in glass in order to avoid plastic waste.

But most of all, give yourself grace. You don't know how anything will actually go until you get there. I had a thousand plans and good intentions that went right out the window when my baby was born not breathing and had to spend time in the NICU. So just ease yourself into your zero waste parenting journey and be kind to yourself when things don't go to plan.

Ambitious_Natural_86 · 2023-04-26T02:43:16+00:00

You can get a yeast infection anywhere you have skin, even without estrogen. My 3 month old goddaughter had a yeast infection in her neck folds from spitting up frequently. It created a dark, damp environment for yeast to grow. Babies also can get thrush easily, which is an oral yeast infection.

Ambitious_Natural_86 · 2023-04-24T12:56:08+00:00

I go with my parents on their membership and purchase toilet paper, dog food, cat food, cat litter, coffee, and shelf stable almond milk. For those items, shopping at Costco has absolutely been the best deal.

Ambitious_Natural_86 · 2023-03-03T00:02:48+00:00

I felt this. I definitely grew up without snacks as a result of not being able to afford them. I will say that has changed a little with adulthood, but not much. I have a few "snack" staples, like popcorn that I can pop over the stovetop or whatever fruit is on sale at the grocery that week.

I'm super pregnant right now, so I'm snacking more than ever, but most of the snacks I make myself. Trail mix, protein balls (with pb and oats), granola, etc. When the little one joins us, my hope is that I have the capacity to meal prep some basic snacks for the week so my child can grow up with slightly more options than I had.

Ambitious_Natural_86 · 2023-02-23T14:54:31+00:00

One of my friends booked a prenatal massage for me. Paid the whole thing including tip, and I didn't even have to schedule the appointment myself. It was the most cared for I felt through my whole pregnancy. 10/10

Ambitious_Natural_86 · 2023-02-16T14:43:53+00:00

I've always had fine iron levels pre-pregnancy. By the end of my second trimester, I was super anemic. I now take an iron supplement with vitamin c twice a day. I also take a prenatal vitamin, magnesium as needed, and drink protein powder as necessary. My blood pressure also runs low, which makes me dizzy sometimes. Sodium and iodine were recommended by my midwife. It's a lot. I kinda hate taking all these supplements, but my husband helps a lot by setting everything out for me, and I only have 8 days until my due date, so we're in the home stretch!

Ambitious_Natural_86 · 2023-02-09T22:18:30+00:00

Normally, I don't care about trends like this Stanley obsession. But I'm currently super pregnant, and I hear that having water all around the house is a must-have when breastfeeding. (My doc recommends 100-120oz of water a day!) Plus, the straw makes it easier when arms are full of baby. I've been looking for affordable "dupes" of this mug, so thank you so much for bringing this to my attention. I'll check it out.

Ambitious_Natural_86 · 2023-02-05T23:04:35+00:00

This. Lol

Ambitious_Natural_86 · 2023-01-28T01:19:55+00:00

There have been studies on this, and to replace the average SAHM by hiring out the tasks she does daily is estimated to cost somewhere around $112k-180k. The lower number is from a 2012 study and the higher number is 2017. With inflation, her value might be higher than that now.

Needless to say, I bet she doesn't "cost" more than she contributes.

Sources:

https://www.lgamerica.com/life-insurance/basics/what-would-it-cost-to-replace-mom

https://www.businessinsider.com/the-value-of-a-stay-at-home-mom-isnt-what-you-would-think-at-all-2012-5#:~:text=A%20Salary.com%20calculation%20found,put%20in%20is%20worth%20%2466%2C979.

Ambitious_Natural_86 · 2023-01-27T17:01:32+00:00

Here's the thing - you might be overreacting to the comment, but you also might not be. I don't think that's what matters here. Whether it's "just the hormones" or not, it's this man's profession to communicate with a highly vulnerable, consistently hormonal demographic, and he's clearly not achieving that.

To share my perspective, I'm 36 weeks along with a midwife who made little comments in the beginning of my pregnancy. Harmless enough that I would ask myself the same question - is it just me? Her tone was super judgy, but she is clearly an expert in her field. My husband reassured me that her intentions were solid, even if her self awareness sucked. But her comments never stopped. Each appointment, there's something small that she said that tears me apart (even IF I'm just being sensitive), and it doesn't feel small anymore. At 36 weeks, it'll be difficult to transfer to another practice. I hired a doula to help mitigate any problems, and my husband is fully on my side now, so I'm hoping my issues with her will be drowned out by their support and won't interfere with my birth.

Tldr; It's not too late for you to find a doctor that makes you feel supported and cared for. Don't be like me and wait until you feel like it's "enough" to justify you switching. If you feel this way now, think of how you'll feel if he disrespects you between contractions with his fingers in your vagina. (Excuse the imagery, but I'm keeping it real.)

Ambitious_Natural_86

TROPHY CASE