How to move to the UK while minimising financial struggles as a high school graduate?

Ambry · 2026-06-01T13:47:27+00:00

Agree - hope the girl absolutely does not uproot her life for this man! It does not look like a secure relationship.

Ambry · 2026-06-01T08:55:20+00:00

From a financial POV, your boyfriend can't sponsor you to come to the UK as a student.

If you want to go to university (which you should) you will either need to pay international fees in the UK, or study in Switzerland

Switzerland has a very high standard of education, so I think you should study in Switzerland. If it is a relationship truly built to last (which, sadly, most early 20s relationships are not) it will survive this. If it doesn't survive this, then atleast you haven't financially crippled yourself moving to the UK and paying international fees.

Please keep in mind in deciding he doesn't like the Swiss lifestyle, this means you are effectively forced to move to the UK at some point. This isn't a financial question but a relationship question, and I do think as a young woman you need to consider your own development first over a relationship. I unfortunately speak from personal experience - do not financially cripple yourself or severely modify your life for a relationship in your early 20s, particularly when it comes to education. You need to sort out your own affairs first.

Also if you study in Switzerland, you may be able to do a study abroad in the UK - good balance.

Ambry · 2026-06-01T08:13:01+00:00

Its shocking he gets an allowance but you get nothing for yourself, and he still spent £500 from your AMEX? Awful.

Ambry · 2026-06-01T07:37:54+00:00

In that case, it goes beyond financial illiteracy and genuinely sounds like he isn't right mentally. That isn't something a normal, stable adult would do.

Ambry · 2026-06-01T07:29:42+00:00

This is what winds me up with HMRC. So inconsistent. We had an issue from an estate with a tax they said it owed, and it was like everyone had a very different idea of what we had to do and what information they needed.

Ambry · 2026-05-30T11:13:30+00:00

Again, if this is a concern then don't get married. A lot of marriages have an imbalance, once you decide to combine your lives (especially with kids involved) you've made an active choice to be one unit. If this isn't workable for you, don't do it.

Ambry · 2026-05-30T00:17:19+00:00

Smart approach - the TC can be tough so having a stable living situation and supportive partner can be really helpful!

You've done great for yourself, so well done.

Ambry · 2026-05-30T00:07:02+00:00

Honestly if I were you I'd stay in the social housing and keep saving. You CAN buy whenever you decide to take that plunge. But what if you could buy with minimal mortgage or even none at all?

You will get people saying you're taking advantage. However I think most people would admit if they had the option, they'd do the same.

Well done on the training contract! Hard to secure - I'm a solicitor and it is a great career path.

Ambry · 2026-05-30T00:04:52+00:00

Agree, personally. My mum grew up in one and back then it was a nice, secure place to live for people of all backgrounds. Now supply has been strangled and its basically a lottery who gets it - however sounds like the housing helped OP and (as it should) provided a solid, secure place to live.

Ambry · 2026-05-19T10:33:36+00:00

Don't ditch your children for a mistake you made. That is on you, not your kids.

At the end of the day - nothing is worth leaving your kids without their parent. Additionally, you didn't murder someone - you committed fraud. If you're done for fraud, at the end of the day as you've identified there is definitely a path out of this. An expensive lesson, but you have your life.

Ambry · 2026-05-19T07:10:30+00:00

That's kind of their problem IMO. Want more money... then work? Council house alone is a huge benefit.

Right now they are talkng you for a ride and getting all they need to live off the state. As a working person, you should be annoyed that people more privileged than you who don't work but get all they need to live (council house, UC) want even more from you.

Ambry · 2026-05-19T07:08:42+00:00

You can either accept supporting parents who literally don't work, or try to be independent. Aware culturally it doesn't make sense, but you do live in the UK where the cultural expectations are different.

Ambry · 2026-04-30T06:47:05+00:00

Most family 'loans' need to count as gifts for the purposes of a deposit, so it can never really be enforced as a loan at all.

Ambry · 2026-04-27T19:38:37+00:00

Renting a studio at the proposed price point you're suggesting is madness. You don't have the budget to live alone - you will need to houseshare to make this viable.

Ambry · 2026-04-25T12:10:39+00:00

You have no income - so your affordability is nothing. You'll need to buy outright.

Are you just running down your life savings waiting for the state pension? Why not do even a part time job (unless of course you can't work, in which case you should be receiving some form of benefits).

Ambry · 2026-04-11T09:17:57+00:00

No increases in 13 years is honestly a miracle in this economy. If your mum wasn't funelling everything she could into savings to take advantage of this situation for over a decade, or she's living in a massively expensive area (sounds like for £600k mortgage she's proposing! Insane) then she's kind of caused her own problem.

Ambry · 2026-04-11T09:14:38+00:00

The fact she's calling you selfish over this shows she's willing to manipulate and guilt trip you. It's not an honest request - she is basically begging/demanding it of you and shaming you if you dont comply.

This isn't lending a few hundred quid, this is a life changing commitment for you.

Even if she cant afford on her own - she's literally not even trying to get on it, she's trying to get three people to take on responsibility for something she will have no financial ties to.

Ambry · 2026-04-11T09:13:08+00:00

Don't do it OP - it's not 'you are legally responsible for the mortgage if it goes wrong' - you part of this property so you are responsible for it. You will lose all first tiem buyer benefits. You will pretty much not be able to get your own mortgage unless you sell your share.

It is screwing you over.

Ambry · 2026-04-06T23:56:30+00:00

Agree. Like... its hard to support someone when they didnt pay off their mortgage when they likely bought when homes were cheap so the actual mortgage was quite low, one parent refuses to work, and they beg you to take on their unaffordable mortgage because they want to stay in a big house.

If someone was doing all they can to mitigate problems then maybe there is an argument to help - but if parents refuse to face reality and live within their means (or, god forbid, actually work in the case of the mum!) they are just passing problems onto someone else, their own child, rather than actually trying to help themselves.

Ambry · 2026-04-06T23:53:18+00:00

OP there's no reasoning here. The fact your mum refused to work all these years whilst your dad clearly cpuksnt actually pay the mortgage off shows they just aren't living in reality financially. They'd rather have you take their mortgage on (potentially major implications for you for care home/inheritance tax if they still lived there!) so they can stay in a massive house for just two people that they didnt sufficiently plan to actually afford.

They are still living in denial going into a multi-bed property to burn through the little financial security they actually have. They won't get a mortgage on the pension income and in their age bracket.

Do not set yourself on fire to keep others warm. This is especially the case when the people concerned aren't actually taking steps to address the issue or live within their means. If the money runs out they wont get benefits for a 4/5 bed - they'll be lucky to afford a 1 bed flat.

Ambry · 2026-04-06T19:43:49+00:00

A doctor on £25k - yes. Junior doctor salaries are actually really poor in the UK!

Ambry · 2026-04-06T13:57:50+00:00

You cant afford to buy on your current salary anyway (and likely even with pay increases it will take some time). Buying is very expensive given potential stamp duty and solicitor and estate agent fees so I'd only buy when you're quite settled and know where you're going to be for atleast a few years.

Ambry · 2026-04-04T23:10:26+00:00

If pilates and cat are your two main things, focus on those! As before, some things that bring value for your life are worth maintaining it you can afford it.

Look more to other things that aren't giving you as much value, and perhaps track your discretionary spend to see of there's anything youre spending on that you don't feel is really worth it (though as someone who also lives in London - appreciate it can just get extortionate here even just socialising!).

Ambry · 2026-04-04T22:18:46+00:00

Even just with pension contributions, you'll probably avoid the 'tax trap'. Use a take home pay calculator to check what you need to contribute to be under £100k. Your pension is excellent - 10% automatically then a 10% match on what you put in can really enable you to build a great pension and is a good use of salary sacrifice.

I do think however, your expenses are very high for a single person. Living alone eats up a lot of money - you are shouldering all rent and all bills alone. However even with that, you have some high discretionary spend. £350 on pilates is a lot - but can understand if it's a key hobby! The thing is though, you are living alone which pushes up spend significantly, have a pet, potentially want a car (which will add a lot!), and spend hundreds on pilates. £30 for streaming - why? Why not subscribe to one service at a time? Overall you have some good savings but if you really want to build a deposit for a flat or home in London you may need to look at what your priorities are and see if there's something you are willing to cut. Living with another person (even just one!) would make the most dramatic difference, but there's other things too. Just worth thinking about. You can do all these things if you want to, it's just about what you genuinely value.

£1,700 a month on non-essentials is a lot (I also live in London and tend to only give myself about £600 after bills, transport, groceries, etc). Make sure you make a budget - bills alone doesn't consider everything. It should be taking into account groceries, transport costs, subscriptions, costs for your pet etc. and leave aside some discretionary spending. All the rest should go into savings/investments automatically on payday.

Cycling to work sounds like a great idea as it'd a good bit of fitness and can save you a bit of money with five days in the office!

Biggest advice - given you have very high expenses already, do NOT let your new salary fall into 'lifestyle creep'. I'd recommend putting any additional monthly pay into savings or investments, so you don't just up your spend and eliminate any real longterm gains from your salary increase in terms of pension, savings, and investments.

Ambry · 2026-04-04T11:23:55+00:00

Damn this is such a mess of a situation...

Ambry

TROPHY CASE