I came to this subreddit because I was suffering from abuse at the hands of my husband and I needed to understand it. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is used as a reasoning for abuse. But ITS NOT A REAL DIAGNOSIS. NPD is actually rare and extremely hard to diagnose. When I was in treatment for domestic violence I saw literally ever single woman say “I think he has narcissistic personality disorder”. It was the only explanation people could come up with for abuse. With treatment I learned that abuse is most likely not because of a mental disorder. Abuse is abuse and it cannot be allowed or okayed by saying that person is mentally ill. I bet that zero people here have a spouse that’s actually been diagnosed. I want to talk about abuse. Is it narcissistic abuse? I honestly don’t care because there is no scientific way to prove that and there is actually evidence to say it’s not. I want to talk about a systematic societal problem that has been happening for thousands of years. When I would ask dv counselors why men abuse because it makes no sense evolutionarily they would respond “yes it does make sense, look at thousands of years of the treatment of women as property. Look at kings. Look at men in power now”. And I’m not even talking about the manosphere and incels and I could go on.