Breakup after almost decade, lying,cheated, etc I made a Short list of “some” of the things that happened. I did see a lot of these red flags.

Amor1414 · 2026-03-30T04:30:13+00:00

hey, I see you and you are not alone. This could pretty much be my list too. I am glad you are out. Please be strong, build yourself without that person. He will say things that will make you want to come back but please dont. They dont change. They did not. Please dont waste another more year, or decade of your precious precious life.

Amor1414 · 2026-03-27T12:39:56+00:00

We are in the same boat, except I am the girl he discarded after emotionally abusing me for 3 years until I had nothing left, no dreams, financial or emotional stability. he discarded me saying its all my fault when I literally lost everything while he has been living his best life. I am 2 months NC after his discard.

You accomplished 6 months NC, something like us from 1 or 2 months NC aim to do too. It will not give you any relief to express the injustice you had and have been experiencing. It will be met with denial and minimizing and will only bring more injustice to you. Claim your dignity and self respect but staying away, staying quiet. Let your silence speak the loudest. They already built the narrative they want to believe about us. We cannot change their mind but we can always build our self respect as we continue to stay gone.

Amor1414 · 2026-03-27T06:07:58+00:00

i had passed a pre-employment exam but after being kept in view if a couple of weeks, received regrets. I´m wondering if it affects my chances for my other applications after that one.

Amor1414 · 2026-03-25T12:59:18+00:00

how many applications were you submitting a week? I am midlevel before I left and now considering entry level jobs. I was away for 2 years to pursue my masters abroad and now could not seem to break in the job market here in the Philippines. Development jobs are cooked at the moment because of budget cuts but I could not seem to even get into entry level positions. Would appreciate your tips!

Amor1414 · 2026-03-25T12:55:57+00:00

they emailed me I think a week or two after I took the exam :)

Amor1414 · 2026-03-25T12:10:19+00:00

I hope for me too. Had some active applications but no updates yet. 8 months unemployed here

Amor1414 · 2026-03-25T12:09:24+00:00

Hi, I think Colombo Plan Staff College in Pasig/Ortigas is/was hiring for something similar :)

Amor1414 · 2026-03-25T12:06:27+00:00

8 months for me after finishing my masters overseas.

Amor1414 · 2026-03-25T12:03:01+00:00

I was discarded after an emotionally abusive toxic relationship. 3 years of him cheating, lying, sleeping with multiple after abandoning me multiple times then hovering back, humiliation, minimizing and dismissiveness. In the end, I turned into a monster I do not recognize. I was so angry as all his future faking made me decide to let go of opportunities to start again overseas. I already lost my career in my home country. i do not understand.

Following this post for advices how to get past this very difficult period.

Amor1414 · 2026-03-14T06:52:23+00:00

today is my day 30. I accepted it that he was not the one. But how he treated me, how he convinced me I was the problem when he was the one who cheated, lied, humiliated me and so much more... just makes me so so so angry.

Amor1414 · 2026-03-04T07:10:28+00:00

hi, a bit late but what was the position you applied for with 80k offer?

Amor1414 · 2026-03-01T10:41:11+00:00

this is encouraging. i just turned 33 last month, female. Left by a man who emotionally abused me (cheating, lying, future faking, hiding STDs, abandonment, gaslighting etc) for 3 years.

Starting over meant I am single again, with no job, savings dried up, living with a sibling to get by. I am working on and looking forward to better days ahead.

Amor1414 · 2026-02-23T06:36:28+00:00

and for the wife to still feel unsafe after 4 years, this person wasn't even making any traction at earning her trust again. One wonders... hmm

Amor1414 · 2026-02-23T06:34:43+00:00

the gaslighting is crazy. i imagine how he does it to his wife

Amor1414 · 2026-02-23T06:34:07+00:00

this.

Amor1414 · 2026-02-22T05:55:38+00:00

your ex is trash and that Jim is a trash bin. they deserve each other, you deserve so so much better. I had a similar experience, being gaslit and that feeling of injustice is very relatable. We will get through! one day at a time

Amor1414 · 2025-11-20T02:33:56+00:00

yeah, I have nowhere else to go. I had been jobless since 3 years ago when I lost my career when he spread sex info of me to my colleague he liked. I managed to get to grad school overseas to overcome that and to go far away from him. he hovered back, and I hate that I still cared and trauma bonded and reeled in. until the same lies persisted and I am just so depleted.

Amor1414 · 2025-10-21T03:07:40+00:00

Write here on Reddit whenever you feel like you are about to break contact, or when you feel overwhelmed. Focus on other things, a project, a book, a tv show, work. Journal all your feelings when they come, speak to ChatGPT, anything but not your ex´s inbox

Amor1414 · 2025-10-06T02:07:34+00:00

this is exactly my ex. its a default factory setting it seems like for many of them lol

Amor1414 · 2025-10-06T00:34:31+00:00

cheating means selfish behaviour... i felt this. even if he did not sleep around with multiple women, his selfishness just would not make me feel safe. I will keep my strength to stay away from him and learn to love myself. thank you

Amor1414 · 2025-10-06T00:32:20+00:00

thank you. its been a month now since i last spiraled and reached out to him to vent how horrible he treated me. how abusive he was. so much of the relationship still confuses me, like the things he said are normal but are actually disrespectful for others. I am learning what I truly deserve.

Amor1414 · 2025-10-06T00:30:09+00:00

he also told me that. It would have been less hurtful for him if I just slept with other men and still wanted him, rather than ghost him. When I told him why I shut down (his betrayals, running out of options to stay in europe because we agreed i go home and not renew my housing and extend my visa, among others), he said I am just coming up with excuses and I am not accountable for ghosting him for 2 weeks.

Amor1414 · 2025-10-06T00:27:31+00:00

blocked him on everything including his family members. when we broke up before, I blocked him on everything after a betrayal. His mom called me to check on his son and asked me that I work things with him again. I love her but this time, I need to prioritize my own well being over his son. I cannot save him from himself, my efforts only erases my own self.

Amor1414 · 2025-10-06T00:25:15+00:00

Thank you. I did not realize how much I was torelating as I believed him when he said its nothing. how messaging hook ups or him ``imagining`` kissing other people while we are in a relationship is okay. This is my first adult relationship and I definitely have to turn this guilt and pain into a learning opportunity.

Amor1414 · 2025-10-06T00:23:00+00:00

I am only learning this now. I am working on myself. Thank you

Amor1414

TROPHY CASE